Anime Recommendation: There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless... (Spoiler Free)

In most stories, the hero defeats the monster, saves the world, and gets the girl. We know that going in. So, if we know that going in, why do we watch movies and TV, read books, and play story-rich video games, etc.? Because of the feels; that is to say, the vicarious experience of a character growing and overcoming conflict. The feels felt on the journey are what make the journey satisfying, not just the feels of the destination (or the ending if you get my metaphor). I don't remember the last time I watched an anime, but this weekend I felt like doing something different. I felt like finding a comedy. I wanted to laugh. I watched Ghost Stories. If you've never heard of it, the English dub is infamous. I enjoyed Ghost Stores immensely in spite of the dub, which wasn't as bad as the video compilations make it seem. I enjoyed it so much that I searched for more anime to watch. I tried a few things and decided to pass. Then I saw this one called There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless... It looked like it might be pervy. It looked like it might be something that should be embarrassing to watch as a man. But I gave it a try in spite of that, and I haven't been that engrossed in something since I beat Morrowind this earlier this year.

And why was I so engrossed? Because each episode sets up a dramatic question, ahem, "Will the heroine..." (that dot, dot, dot is the dramatic part) and then the show paid it off within the same episode, or it set it up in the current episode and paid it off in the next episode. The set ups and pay offs were consistent! The show consistently promised something interesting, and it consistently delivered. It did this really, really well. And so, spoiling the ending would be a disservice to this anime because I'm not sure I could watch it a second time now that I know what happens and I've already been on the journey. I rewatch Avatar the Last Air Bender every other year because it's so good, but I'm not sure this show would be that good if you know what happens next. That uncertainty is the hook for me. This creates and maintains a lot of tension throughout the story.

Oh, and, in a typical story the hero gets the girl, but in this case, it's an all-girl harem genre. So, even that exact outcome is not certain! Now I think I have poignant thoughts about the ending, but like I said, it would be a disservice to the anime to spoil the ending. Watch this anime. It's good. Watch it. I watched it on TubiTV in two days. Maybe for other people that's nothing, but for me, I don't get engrossed in things easily. So, anything that sucks me in like this is praiseworthy. I have ADHA which does not mean I have trouble paying attention, it means I have dopamine issues. I crave dopamine, but my brain doesn't produce enough. I'm constantly seeking a dopamine kick, which is why I can't maintain my weight because carbs, chips, and soft drinks are great at that. So, trust me when I say, this anime does things very, very well.

First off, it's really colorful and fun to look at like CoCoMelon. I joke, but the art is pretty. That instantly got my interest. Second, they introduce two characters in the first episode, Renako and Mai. Within that first episode, the show tells us who they are, what they want, why they want it so bad, and what happens if they fail to get it. It makes them sympathetic characters immediately and it sets up their unusual relationship.

Here's the set up. Renako, a new high school student, wants friends and she's afraid of being alone and missing out on life, but she's terribly introverted (relatable). This year, she's learned how to pass herself off as a normal person and by the start of the first episode she's in the friend group of the most popular girls in high school. Somehow. Just go with it because justifying this set up is unnecessary. Further, this lifestyle is very exhausting for Renako. She comes home from school mentally fatigued every day. Mai is a child celebrity, and she's the daughter of a famous, hyper-successful, very wealthy model. Shut up, just go with it. Fiction does not have to be realistic. Mai reveals to Renako and the audience very early that she's perpetually wearing a persona that she developed very early as a coping mechanism for being a child celebrity, though the show doesn't explain it to you as bluntly as I have. These two share a near-death experience, and now they're having a deep conversation, as one does when they share a near-death experience. Seriously, if you want to bond characters quickly, the best way is shared trauma, both going through a trauma together and also sharing your traumas with someone.

This is the premise, and if there's anything distracting to you about the fact that the show is a romance between high school girls, it's not going to distract you for very long.

For those of you who don't know the work of Carl Jung (I'm not an expert myself), your ego is who you really are, and your persona is the person you pretend to be to fit into society. These are outdated concepts in psychology now. I share them because they help explain this story. Both these characters wear a metaphorical mask to hide who they really are. These are the layers that each character will have to get through to understand each other, and, these are the set ups for their internal conflicts which they'll struggle with during the show. There are other characters who slowly get introduced and developed, and by the third character introduction you realize this is how all the characters are conceived by the author.

Very little about the show is done poorly. For example, there's one scene where they show Mai has a bodyguard for like three seconds. Then in the next episode, the bodyguard gets a few lines which she uses to be a bitch to Renako for vague reasons that seem like a set up to something. Then, this subplot was evidently dropped and forgotten by the writer. It's fine when you consider a mangaka's production cycle. Or maybe it was just left out of the anime? There's another occasion where one character reveals a secret to another character, but they deny the audience the revelation until later by making that scene go silent. I hate that because I think that's a cheap way to create suspense, but they only did it once.

The characters are very well written. They are constantly forced to make choices between two undesirable options, and you sit there like a member of an audience in a horror movie, ready to yell "no! not that way!" And you go with it because you understand their decision making and you feel their anxiety. Their relationships with each other are written very well. Their dialogue is well done. In fact, the show is more dialogue than spectacle. By that I mean the characters have substantive conversations, and the spectacle, like a contest of skill in a video game, is there for only as long as it needs to be and it doesn't get in the way. The dialogue has a lot of layers. By that I mean, characters say one thing but mean something else, or they hide something, and you don't know exactly what they mean or hide until they're forced to explain it.

It's really good. I don't think that a second season could be successful because the characters go through all their character arcs and confront their conflicts. What that means is the story is not incomplete. I repeat for emphasis, the story is not incomplete. If you've heard anything about a cliffhanger ending or an unfinished ending, that's commentary by person who doesn't understand story telling. Ignore it. When the characters complete their character arcs and confront their conflicts, the story is over because there's nothing left to write about, and adding something new will be an all-new premise. I promise you this is a complete story. The major questions get answered. Seventeen episodes. Not a bad time investment at all.

How to Play D&D for Free

You don't need D&D to play D&D. There are free alternatives. Not to mention that its not hard to make your own game if you understand how table top roleplaying games (TTRPGs) are played. 

• Basic Fantasy RPG is a free retroclone of an old school edition of D&D. It's like the Basic / Expert edition (B/X) with a few modern rules. This is the GOAT! They have a downloads page where you can get supplemental books including adventures.
• White Box : Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game has a free pdf. It's a 100 page retroclone of original D&D and I love it!
• Blueholme Prentice Rules is a retroclone of an older ed of D&D taking you on levels 1 to 3.
• OSRIC 1e, which stands for old-school reference and index complication, is a retroclone of Advanced D&D (AD&D) 1e.
• For Gold & Glory is a retroclone of AD&D 2e.
• Both D&D 3.5e and Pathfinder 1e have a System Reference Document (SRD) here. I've heard PF 1e described as D&D 3.75e. An SRD is also available for D&D 5e there.
• Draw Steel by MCDM is a relatively new game with its complete rules free online (got to respect that). I've heard it's similar to D&D 4e.
• Index Card RPG 2e has a very generous amount of content in their quickstart rules. It's a very simplified version of the essence of D&D. Setting and genre neutral. Flexible. Fast. Simple.
• Olde Swords Reign is a mix of D&D 5th edition, D&D 0th edition, and then some quality new ideas. I would call this a great way to ease modern gamers into older style D&D games.
• Shadowdark has a quickstart rules set. It's a popular alternative to D&D 5e. Its similar to 5e mechanically but it has an old school feel. I hear it's a good entry point for modern gamers into older style play.
• Cairn aka Cairn RPG is a very rules lite game. 1e and 2e online.
• Black Hack RPG is a hack of classic D&D. Probably B/X.
• Lamentations of the Flame Princess is old school D&D with a weird / horror twist. The core rules are slick and free.
• Open Legend RPG is like if all the familiar assets of character creation for D&D 5th edition were broken into little bity pieces and it allowed you to make a highly customized character. It's setting and genre neutral and highly customizable. Core rules are completely online. I really like it but the barriers to entry are that no one's playing it, there are few to no other resources for it even though its open-source, and it's character creation is really involved.
• OpenD6 is an a free game different from D&D and the d20 system. OpenD6 uses only six-sided dice. It's got a dice pool system. Your stats are represented by a number of dice. For example, rather than having 10 strength, you might have 2D for two dice in strength. That's the number of six-sided dice you roll to make a strength test. The rules are modular so if you want to change it to suit your game, you can by adding or removing stats, skills, etc.
• Patherfinder 2e is here. I hear this is very different from PF 1e/
• Mork Borg has a bare bones edition for download. This is a dark fantasy/ horror fantasy game.
• Open 2d6 is a game with mechanics inspired by Barbarians of Lemuria. Roll 2d6, add bonuses, try to roll 9 or higher. Double 1s are a crit fail, double 6s are crit success.
• Open Lite RPG is a game I wrote for fun on this blog. I imagined it as a simple, rules lite game. It uses only the d20 and d6's. 

Free Settings

A setting that is ready-to-play. A setting is a defined major location for your game with one or more minor locations. It could be a town, a dungeon, and a wilderness in-between. Or a whole region of a world. Or a galaxy.

• Mystara is a classic D&D setting.
• Blackmarsh (not Elder Scrolls).
• Draconia '95 is an in-progress setting I'm working on, also on this blog. It takes place in a generic city in 1995. It's a bases for urban fantasy, sci-fi, and horror in a grounded modern setting where the best of technology exists but is not ubiquitous.

Free Starter Adventurers

What's and adventure? It's a scenario to play through with a problem or goal, a map or series of maps, monsters, treasure, etc. Sometimes adventures they have built-in settings.

• Basic Fantasy RPG's dowloads page is your friend! One thing worth noting is that all versions of D&D pre 3e are mostly compatible and easily converted, which means adventures for one work for the others. I am recommending these as good starting adventures:
• BF1 Morgansfort: The Western Lands Campaign. This contains a starter setting.
• JN1 The Chaotic Caves
• AA2 Adventure Anthology Two, the mini-adventure Kidnapped on page 41
• Tomb of the Serpent King is a teaching dungeon. Very good!

House Rules for Faster, More Immersive Games

The intent of these house rules is to make games  faster and more immersive by eliminating habits that lead to interrupting the pace of the game. I hoped this would be a simpler version of a much more in-depth blog post here which uses the concept of flow state to describe why interruptions in TTRPGs are detrimental to the overall TTRPG experience. I've added some non-essential rules that suit my desired game, but I justify their inclusion because they set expectations which can avoid confusion.

Grounded Fiction

This rule establishes a common understanding of the setting. Fiction does not mean anything goes. The setting has relatable characters, plausible scenarios, and realistic environments. Your character is an ordinary person who becomes an adventurer. Don't do anything you wouldn't do in real life. Play your characters like you care what happens to them.

Ready Bonus

If you're ready at the start of your turn, you get a +2 bonus to your roll. This means that as soon as it's your turn, you state what you do and how you do it in one fluid sentence. No questions, no looking up rules, no thinking.

Initiative and Turn Order

Transitions into combat should be seamless, as much as possible. He who takes initiative goes first. If unclear, a GM ruling decides. Turns go clockwise around the table.

One Action Per Turn

Long turns mean more waiting which is boring. On your turn, you can move without acting, you can act without moving, and you can move up to your maximum movement as part of your action, but attacking ends your turn. One sentence can be spoken during your turn. No double actions or double moves, no bonus or free actions, no holding actions, no reactions.

Skipping Turns

Players are not entitled take as long as they want on their turn. The GM can give them a last call for declaring an action or rule that their character hesitates this round.

No Redo's, No Do-Overs, No Retcons

Once you declare your action, you can't change it.

Player Descriptions

Players must describe what they do and how using natural language, like writing a scene in a book. Avoid using game terminology. The intent of your action should be clear.

No phones, laptops, or electronics

Put them away. It's a paper and pencil game.

Character Creation

Player Characters (PCs) must suit the tone and setting of the game. PCs must have their own goal to pursue in play. Discuss with GM.

No Player vs Player (PvP)

The game is about collaboration and cooperation, not adversarial or competitive play. Don't sabotage each other. Don't be that guy. Evil PCs become GM property and NPC villains. Adventuring is dangerous, therefore PCs need a good reason for why they trust the other PCs with their lives.

Metagaming

Metagaming means thinking about the game like a game. Using knowledge that your characer doesn't have is also metagaming. Out-of-character discussions that your characters would not reasonably be able to achive in-character; e.g. long strategy during a short combat round. 

Player Skill, Not Character Skill

Dice rolls and game mechanics do not solve puzzles, resolve exploration, or social interaction; player ingenuity does. Describe what you search and how. Treat NPCs like real people, try to make them happy. Knowledge and insight are learned in play. Pay attention and ask questions. Plan ahead.

Character Stats

Your stats are just numbers for mechanical purposes. They do not necessarily describe your character or determine how you must portray them.

Emergent Story

Neither the GM or the dice tell the story. The GM prepares the setting and the NPCs, obstacles and opportunities within. The story is what emerges when the players engage with the setting and NPCs. In other words, players choose what to do and how, and the GM reacts.

Tools, Not Rules

The games rules and mechanics are just tools to help the GM to run the game. The GM may take and leave these tools to make their own tool kit as it suits them. Part of being a GM is knowing when to use them and knowing whey they don't suit a moment of the game.

No Rules Talk During The Game

During the game, no talking about the rules, no reading the rules, no asking for clarity about the rules. No rulebooks at the table. Save it for outside the game. The GM makes a ruling and moves the game along.

GM Rulings

One of the roles of the GM is to be a referee of the rules and to make rulings of what happens in the game. It's important to be fair and consistent, and without investment in the outcome. The rules can't account for everything, but people can! Consider in real life as your criteria. If something can reasonably succeed, it does. If something is genuinely impossible, no die roll will allow it.

Don't Break Character

This house rule is a guideline. Always being strictly in character is not needed, but breaking character leads to loss of immersion, momentum, and tension. Instead of asking what's in a room, ask what you see, hear, smell, etc. Don't ask what's in the box, describe how you inspect it. Don't declare that you sneak, describe what you're doing to be sneaky. Treat each in-game conversation as though it's actually happening and avoid out-of-character comments or sidebar. Turn out-of-character discussion into in-character conversation. If you're going to award anything to players for good roleplaying, factor whether or not they stay in character for their whole turn!

Optional Rules (in-character bonuses) to incentivize desired player behavior:

• Go an entire scene without breaking character and earn a hero die (a d6). You can hold up to five of these. Any number of hero dice can be spent on any roll.
• Go an entire game session without breaking character and earn 150% experience points.