Sunday, June 7, 2026

Anime Recommendation: There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless... (Spoiler Free)

In most stories, the hero defeats the monster, saves the world, and gets the girl. We know that going in. So, if we know that going in, why do we watch movies and TV, read books, and play story-rich video games, etc.? Because of the feels; that is to say, the vicarious experience of a character growing and overcoming conflict. The feels felt on the journey are what make the journey satisfying, not just the feels of the destination (or the ending if you get my metaphor). I don't remember the last time I watched an anime, but this weekend I felt like doing something different. I felt like finding a comedy. I wanted to laugh. I watched Ghost Stories. If you've never heard of it, the English dub is infamous. I enjoyed Ghost Stores immensely in spite of the dub, which wasn't as bad as the video compilations make it seem. I enjoyed it so much that I searched for more anime to watch. I tried a few things and decided to pass. Then I saw this one called There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless... It looked like it might be pervy. It looked like it might be something that should be embarrassing to watch as a man. But I gave it a try in spite of that, and I haven't been that engrossed in something since I beat Morrowind this earlier this year.

And why was I so engrossed? Because each episode sets up a dramatic question, ahem, "Will the heroine..." (that dot, dot, dot is the dramatic part) and then the show paid it off within the same episode, or it set it up in the current episode and paid it off in the next episode. The set ups and pay offs were consistent! The show consistently promised something interesting, and it consistently delivered. It did this really, really well. And so, spoiling the ending would be a disservice to this anime because I'm not sure I could watch it a second time now that I know what happens and I've already been on the journey. I rewatch Avatar the Last Air Bender every other year because it's so good, but I'm not sure this show would be that good if you know what happens next. That uncertainty is the hook for me.

Oh, and, in a typical story the hero gets the girl, but in this case, it's an all-girl harem genre. So, even that exact outcome is not certain! Now I think I have poignant thoughts about the ending, but like I said, it would be a disservice to the anime to spoil the ending. Watch this anime. It's good. Watch it. I watched it on TubiTV in two days. Maybe for other people that's nothing, but for me, I don't get engrossed in things easily. So, anything that sucks me in like this is praiseworthy. I have ADHA which does not mean I have trouble paying attention, it means I have dopamine issues. I crave dopamine, but my brain doesn't produce enough. I'm constantly seeking a dopamine kick, which is why I can't maintain my weight because carbs, chips, and soft drinks are great at that. So, trust me when I say, this anime does things very, very well.

First off, it's really colorful and fun to look at like CoCoMelon. I joke, but the art is pretty. That instantly got my interest. Second, they introduce two characters in the first episode, Renako and Mai. Within that first episode, the show tells us who they are, what they want, why they want it so bad, and what happens if they fail to get it. It makes them sympathetic characters immediately and it sets up their unusual relationship.

Here's the set up. Renako, a new high school student, wants friends and she's afraid of being alone and missing out on life, but she's terribly introverted (relatable). This year, she's learned how to pass herself off as a normal person and by the start of the first episode she's in the friend group of the most popular girls in high school. Somehow. Just go with it because justifying this set up is unnecessary. Further, this lifestyle is very exhausting for Renako. She comes home from school mentally fatigued every day. Mai is a child celebrity, and she's the daughter of a famous, hyper-successful, very wealthy model. Shut up, just go with it. Fiction does not have to be realistic. Mai reveals to the Renako and the audience very early that she's perpetually wearing a persona that she developed very early as a coping mechanism for being a child celebrity, though the show doesn't explain it to you as bluntly as I have. These two share a near-death experience, and now they're having a deep conversation, as one does when they share a near-death experience. Seriously, if you want to bond characters quickly, the best way is shared trauma, both going through a trauma together and also sharing your traumas with someone.

This is the premise, and if there's anything distracting to you about the fact that the show is a romance between high school girls, it's not going to distract you for very long.

For those of you who don't know the work of Carl Jung (I'm not an expert myself), your ego is who you really are, and your persona is the person you pretend to be to fit into society. These are outdated concepts in psychology now. I share them because they help explain this story. Both these characters wear a metaphorical mask to hide who they really are. These are the layers that each character will have to get through to understand each other, and, these are the set ups for their internal conflicts which they'll struggle with during the show. There are other characters who slowly get introduced and developed, and by the third character introduction you realize this is how all the characters are conceived by the author.

Very little about the show is done poorly. For example, there's one scene where they show Mai has a bodyguard for like three seconds. Then in the next episode, the bodyguard gets a few lines which she uses to be a bitch to Renako for vague reasons that seem like a set up to something. Then, this subplot was evidently dropped and forgotten by the writer. It's fine when you consider a manka's production cycle. Or maybe it was just left out of the anime? There's another occasion where one character reveals a secret to another character, but they deny the audience the revelation until later by making that scene go silent. I hate that because I think that's a cheap way to create suspense, but they only did it once.

The characters are very well written. They are constantly forced to make choices between two undesirable options, and you sit there like a member of an audience in a horror movie, ready to yell "no! not that way!" And you go with it. Their relationships with each other are written very well. Their dialogue is well done. In fact, the show is more dialogue than spectacle. By that I mean the characters have substantive conversations, and the spectacle, like a contest of skill in a video game, is there for only as long as it needs to be and it doesn't get in the way. The dialogue has a lot of layers. By that I mean, characters say one thing but mean something else, or they hide something, and you don't know exactly what they mean or hide until they're forced to explain it.

It's really good. I don't think that a second season could be successful because the characters go through all their character arcs and confront their conflicts. What that means is the story is not incomplete. I repeat for emphasis, the story is not incomplete. If you've heard anything about a cliffhanger ending or an unfinished ending, that's commentary by person who doesn't understand story telling. Ignore it. When the characters complete their character arcs and confront their conflicts, the story is over. I promise you this is a complete story. Seventeen episodes. Not a bad time investment at all.

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