Final Fantasy VII Ultimate Weapons are Bullshit

    The ultimate weapons in past Final Fantasy games were pretty simple. Equip for a massive boost in damage. Sometimes you did more damage to some enemy types or you got some bonus stat points. In Final Fantasy 6 they got a little creative. The ultimate weapons were a bit hard to find. The only one you got for sure was the Atma Weapon, the predecessor to the Ultima Weapon. It started a trend that lives on in Final Fantasy to this day: weapons that don't work.
    This was something I didn't understand when I got some final weapons in FF7 as a kid. Why am I doing only 500 damage at level 70 with the Ultima Weapon? I guess the enemies are getting really tough! In actuality, there was a unique damage formula built in to each ultimate weapon. In the case of Cloud and Cait Siths' weapon, the amount of damage you could do was proportionate to what percentage of HP you were at. At full health you did regular damage, and if you had less HP, you were doing less damage, down to almost nothing if you were near death. Cramping my fucking style, there, Ultima Weapon.
    For Red XIII and Cid, your damage was proportionate to your percentage of MP, making them crappy if you were planning on using them as dual melee wizard characters. Tifa was also crippled as a melee character: Her damage was proportionate to the percentage of her Limit Guage. Her damage would be all over the place. Barret's damage depended on how much AP his materia had, meaning he sucks without materia that might affect his stats. Vincent was the worst. Just make him your wizard and give him Flash. Don't even ask. Just don't even ask. Score 10,000 kills. Nope. Fuck no. You fucking fuck.
    This is why I use Yuffie. Her final weapon, the Conformer, is the best. Besides having the long range benefit, the unique formula for her damage was that it used the level of her enemy as a multiplier. All weapons used the level of the user as a multiplier for damage, but Yuffie's Conformer conformed to her enemies level instead. That was the gimmick. It's the most reliable and most consistent. This is also the only weapon in the game to use a regular damage formula when using the Morph command.
    The other reason why the final weapons suck in FF7, no AP growth. I guess the designers didn't want me using these weapons except for boss battles. With a crippling feature like that, you will almost never use these weapons outside of boss battles. You need to get AP. You WANT to get AP. Using final weapons is a waste of AP.

Here's how you solve the problem:

• Use Yuffie for melee. Farm Power Sources (very easy to do).
• Cloud is a wizard now. Deal with it.
• Cait Sith is a wizard. You probably didn't use him anyway.
• Red XIII and Cid are either melee fighters or wizards, not both. Cid is good at melee and bad at magic so whateves, but Red XIII had potential to be both. I had a childhood friend who used them both, go figure.
• Get used to knowing that you're wasting some of your best materia on Barret that might mess with his attack, vitality, and HP stats.
• Vincent is wasted as a wizard since his specialty is transforming into a 2 trick berserk monster, so build him around his limits breaks.
• Give Tifa a mastered cover Materia and stack up to 8 counter materias on her. Never use her limit breaks. Have her defend every turn. Or giver her the Fury Ring so she's always in berserk.
• Aeris is dead.

 Ultimate weapons? More like kooky pieces of bullshit.

D&D 5e Gunslinger

     I recently got into D&D. Spent about $200 on the books, and another $130 on some furniture. The initial high of finding a new activity you enjoy was well above normal for me. So much so, I haven't resumed doing most of my normal hobbies or downtime activities. I spend a lot of time googling and youtubing D&D stuff, where I discovered a show called CriticalRoll. I didn't think much of one of the characters using a gun at that time, but while I was reading the DM Handbook, I found the page that gave stats to firearms and was mind blown. I spent an entire Sunday, shit you not, working on my own gunslinger home-brew class. Midway through, it occurred to me that maybe someone already did this, and what if they did it better, and there's no need for me to make one. I found some home-brew gunslinger class and some sort of Pathfinder gunslinger class that more or less did what I was doing. Later, I found Matthew Mercers' Gunlinger PDF, and I didn't like it.
     So, here's mine:

<class information begin>

"Gunslinger

The intelligent and the creative have discovered how a combination of unrelated inventions can make a single new weapon. Due to the complexity of these weapons, few people can produce them. There is also a steep learning curve to becoming proficient with these weapons, and few people have the resources for the training. Is the face of war about to change, or is this new class of warrior too dependent on the inconsistent skill of a new and rare type of craftsman and uncommon resources to endure?

The gunslinger is a rare and unique warrior that could be mistaken by wizards by those not in the know. Because of the rarity of guns, and the rarity and expense of the ammunition, gaining competent skill and knowledge with firearms probably means you had very unique circumstances in your background. You don't have to be strong or smart to fire a gun well, but coordination and practice are key. You must also know how to clean and maintain your weapon, and make time to do so often. Skilled marksmen have learned to compensate for the unique inaccuracy of each handmade gun.

Class Features

As a gunslinger, you gain the following features.

Hit Points

Hit Dice: 1d8 or 5 + Con per marksman level

Proficiencies

Armor: Light armor, Medium Armor

Weapons: Pistols, Muskets, Dynamite

Tools: Bullet Casting Tools or Tinkers Tools

Saving Throws: Dexterity, Wisdom

Skills: Choose 3 from: Acrobatics, Insight, Intimidation, Perception, Stealth, Slight of Hand

Equipment

You begin with the following equipment, in addition to to equipment provided by your background.

(a)A Pistol or (b) a Musket
A horn of gunpowder

20 Bullets

(a) Padded Armor and 1x dagger or 1x hand ax or (b) Leather Armor

An Explorers Pack

Bullet Casting Tools

10 lbs. of copper (or lead)

1 Flask of Oil, 1x Cotton Clothe, 1x Barrel Rod

Renaissance Item	Cost	Damage	Weight	Properties
Martial Ranged Weapons
Pistol	250 gp	1d10 Piercing	3 lbs.	Ammunition (range 30/90), loading,
Musket	500 gp	1d12 Piercing	10 lbs.	Ammunition (40/120), loading, two-handed
Double Barrel Pistol	700 gp	1d10 Piercing	5 lbs.	Ammunition (range 30/90), loading,
Double Barrel Musket	1250 gp	1d12 Piercing	15 lbs	Ammunition (40/120), loading, two-handed
Ammunition
Ball Shot	3 gp	-	2 lbs.	-
Cone Shot	12 gp	+1/+1	2 lbs.	Range increases by +5/+10
Silver Shot	100 gp		2 lbs.	Silvered, Can be either Ball or Cone Shot

• Cone Shot is more aerodynamic. It adds +1 to your attack and damage rolls, increases your normal range by 5 and your long range by 10. You can craft or purchase bullet casting tools specifically for making cone shot if or buy cone shot.
• Silver Shot or Silvered Shot is the only way for marksmen to fight monsters with resistance to nonmagical damage.
• The double barreled weapons allow for shooters to take up to two attacks before reloading. This will be beneficial if they have a bonus action or an extra attack 
• This should go without saying, but using your guns as improvised bludgeoning weapons does 1d4+Str mod damage, but it doesn't sound like a good idea to make a habit of pistol whipping and clubbing creatures with a precision instrument that has intricate parts. You don't have proficiency to firearms when you used them like this.

Fire while Prone

At 1st level, you can attack with firearms while prone.

Announce

At 1st level, you can announce your presence with a gunshot once per encounter. Roll a Charisma or an Intimidate Check. Creatures within 50 feet must make Wis save or become intimidated for one round. If they succeed by more than 5, they may become provoked at DMs discretion. Nonmagic creatures who roll a 1 or a 2 will be intimidated by you for 24 hours.

Quick Draw

At 2nd level, you can draw or holster a 1 handed firearm as a free action.

Muzzle Flash

At 3rd level, you can declare that you load your firearm with only gunpowder and no ammunition, and your intent to blind one creature within 5 ft of you. Succeed on an attack roll without disadvantage and you can blind 1 creature and do 1d4 fire damage.

Improve Ability Score

At level 4th, 8th, 12th, 16^th, and 19^th level, you can improve your choice of one ability score by +2 or two ability scores by +1.

Disable Target

At level 5, you can attempt to disable a target with a well placed shot to a leg or an arm. Subtract 5 from your attack roll. Target must make a dex saving throw for a DC15 to avoid taking this disable penalty. If a creature succeeds its saving throw, your shot missed entirely. If you hit, you divide your damage by 2. You can choose to aim for an arm or a leg. If you disable a targets leg, you reduce it's speed by 10. If your disable it's arm, you impose disadvantage against it's attack rolls with melee or ranged weapons. It cannot recover from disability until it recovers at least 1 HP. This skill does not work against creatures 2 sizes larger or smaller than medium.

Crack Shot

At level 6, you can re-roll an attack roll. You can use this feature this your marksman level/3 times rounded down per day. You recover one use of crack shot every short rest and all uses after a long rest.

Trick Shot

On 7th level, you can toss a coin in the air and put a hole in it. With that kind of skill, you are no longer disadvantaged on attack rolls for creatures within 5 ft.

Shooters Position

At level 9, at the cost of half your speed, you take a knee to stabilize your weapon. You can gain a +3 to your attack roll for enemies in you normal range and +2 to enemies in your long range.

Fast Reflexes

As of level 10, if you're surprised by an encounter, you get one attack on your first turn if you're using a pistol and if you're using a musket, you can make your attack at the end of the round.

Execution

At level 11, if a creature is prone and you are within 5 ft, you can attempt to instantly kill it on a successful attack roll. If the target has more than 50 hit points, it can not be instantly killed. If you fail your attack roll by 5 or less, you do 3d6 damage with a pistol or 4d6 damage with a musket or you miss.

Eagle Eye

At level 13, your ability to track and follow a moving target from a distance reaches a new peak. Your normal range doubles with pistols and you can ignore the long range disadvantage using a musket.

Improved Critical Range

As of level 14, your critical range with firearms is 19-20.

Rapid Reload

On level 15, you can reload your weapon right after making an attack of opportunity so that you can still attack on your next turn. This can be used only once per round.

Still Beat

At level 17, you slow your heart rate and exhale slowly to take shots in between your heartbeats and breathes. You can aim and concentrate on specific points of your target. Add a 1d4 to your attack and damage rolls if you're using a pistol or a 1d6 if your using a musket. You can use this ability your Marksman Level/4 times per day. You recover 1 use per short rest.

Improved Critical Range

As of level 20, your critical range with firearms is 18-20.

Gunslinger Table

Level	Proficiency	Feature
1st	+2	Fire While Prone, Announce
2nd	+2	Quickdraw
3rd	+2	Muzzle Flash
4th	+2	Improved Ability Score
5th	+3	Disable Target
6th	+3	Crack Shot
7th	+3	Trick Shot
8th	+3	Improved Ability Score
9th	+4	Shooters Position
10th	+4	Fast Reflexes
11th	+4	Execute
12th	+4	Improved Ability Score
13th	+5	Eagle Eye
14th	+5	Improved Critical
15th	+5	Rapid Reload
16th	+5	Improved Ability Score
17th	+6	Still Beat
18th	+6	-
19th	+6	Improved Ability Score
20th	+6	Improved Critical

Tool Proficiency: Bullet Casting Tools

You can make your own bullets during short rests, long rests, or during down time. You require bullet casting tools and materials such as copper, iron, or silver. You have to melt 2 lbs. of material down and pour it into a bullet mold. This requires a campfire or a stove. You also need gunpowder which is made from charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter. You can make 10 bullets in a 1 hour short rest.

Critical Failure

If you roll a 1 on an attack roll, re-roll the d20. If the roll is 10 or above, the bullet has strayed from its trajectory significantly due to minute inconsistencies in the production of each handmade bullet and you automatically miss. If the result of the re-roll is below 10, the gun has misfired due to a faulty cartridge. If misfire occurs, the character is blinded for 1 turn and loading that gun requires an extra action, either a bonus action, an extra attack, or another turn, to clear the bad cartridge and purge the bad round from the gun barrel. Characters who are proficient with firearms can reload a gun while blinded.

Muzzle Flash

The muzzle flash can be blinding or deafening, you immediately give yourself away if you're hiding."

 <end of class information>

     What can I improve on? Well, I'm not sure my Gunslinger has enough defensive abilities, and the improve crit range bonuses might be redundant and less than interesting.  Maybe there's a cooler ability I could get? Sniping damage or something? The idea here is that the gunslinger class is a rare and underdeveloped class in a typical D&D setting. You're using primitive firearms and have a real problem with resources. A first generation D&D gunslinger is something of a betatester of his/her trade. I think it needs an additional rule to give you something extra to think about when choosing a pistol or a musket.

How to Cope with Final Fantasy Tactics: War of The Lions

I had to play Final Fantasy Tactics, and the only way just happens to be the PSP version now available on Android. I don't care about the new stuff. To me, the PSX version was more than fine. The Ye olde English is actually not charming and it's not a turn on. I might even consider it a disadvantage for this game, because no one can understand the way these motherfuckers talk now. I'm also mostly indifferent to the voice over animated cut scenes. Bah. All that aside, it's pretty much the same game except the fucking JP requirements for everything can go to hell and die.

To unlock anything in the original version, you just needed to get your job level to 2, 3, or 4. "When In doubt, just get to level 4," that was my rule of thumb when I couldn't remember what the job requirements were. The exception was the Mime class. In the PSP version, you have to get some jobs to level 5 or 6, and the JP requirements are tripled. To get to level 4 in the original, you needed to reach 550 JP. To get to level four in the PSP version, you need 1600 JP. Get fucked. That just makes the game more tedious and less satisfying. This was most likely an idea to better balance the game, however, if you want to use the word broken, the original game was broken in good ways. I think this will take away some of the replay value for me. Way to go, Square Enicks. I hope a radioactive squirrel bites your nuts.

Hope to Cope:
Here are some tips to grind JP.
 
1. Learn the Toad spell, learn Speed and Power Break, learn Chakra.
Kill off all but one enemy and turn it into a toad, then Speed/Power Break the bastard to 1s. Now, attack and heal the frog, or your party members over and over. You can Also Power Break your own guys so they don't accidentally kill anything. Chakra is glorious because it restores HP AND MP for up to 5 units, for FREE! If you have an Arithmetician/Calculator, a class worth getting for one character, this can be easier.

1b. Just learn Focus/Accumulate from the squire Job and spam it. Buffs are OP in this game anyway.

2. Add Tailwind/Yell
The above, but also add Tailwind/Yell to make everyone the same speed or to just be even faster than your toad punching bag. You can make one character super fast if you really just want that one character to grind JP.

3. Add Stone
If you stone characters who won't be doing anything, you don't have to worry about their turns slowing you down.

4. Add Berserk
Turn off all the battle messages in the options menu and now all your characters can be berserk toads automatically attacking a crippled enemy toad for 1 damage ad nauseam without any player input.

5. Dance/Sing
I hear dancing or singing using the fastest song/dance paired with Short Charge learned from Time Mages is actually the fastest way to grind JP and that you can add Move JP Up to get even more JP, but I don't want to be bothered to unlock these fucking jobs in this version. You can dance/sing 2-3 times per round, but you have to do most of the grinding this game requires to unlock this job.