Every time I've ever ran a TTRPG or been invited to play TTRPG, I have been disappointed by something, and I've dropped out of a few groups when it was bad enough. Managing expectations was a concern of mine from the very beginning. I think I've found the vocabulary that I need to describe concepts that GMs can and should use when inviting players to their game. These five items below should help you no matter what kind of game you're running. Explain these ideas to your players as early as possible.
1. Fiction Doesn't Mean Anything Goes
Have you ever told someone that their idea didn't make sense, and their response was something like "but it's [fiction / fantasy / sci-fi]" and the implications was that because something (the game) is fiction, anything should be permissible? Here's the counter argument. Just because something is [fiction / fantasy / sci-fi], that doesn't mean anything goes. Fantasy is fiction with fantastic stuff. In fiction, the limitations of the fantastic elements are established, and then the rest of the setting is assumed to be based in realism which we can all relate to. Note that realism here is not the same as trying to create a game or setting that simulates what is realistic. Note that the core rules do not say "disregard realism" or "default to realism", this is a ruling made by the GM; however, defaulting to realism as a rule of thumb is useful because it gives us a common understanding of how the world works where the rules of the game do not cover, and common understanding allows the GM to be fair and consistent in their rulings and helps the players to understand the limitations of what they can do and cannot do. This also has the benefit of simplifying the game.
2. Forget Everything You Know About X
Tell your players to forget everything they know about fantasy, sci-fi, horror, 5e, Faerun, Eberron, World of Warcraft, etc. Do not let them bring their knowledge or expectations about goblins or vampires or were-creatures or magic to your game. Tell them that in your setting, these things might work differently, and that by relying on their knowledge of other settings or pop culture can spoil the experience of your game for themselves. Tell them you expect them to figure things out through exploration, social interaction, and experience in play. Alternatively, this common knowledge can give us a starting point to understand a setting, and so you would want to provide them with a list of other fiction that has inspired your game like D&D's famous Appendix N. I personally do not like Tolkien's interpretation on elves, dwarves, and hobbits (halflings).
3. Generic Setting vs Curated Setting
Tell your players that the GM is the curator of the setting. As curator, you decide what is appropriate for the setting and what is not. Tell your players whether you are running a generic fantasy setting that is a hodgepodge of fantasy's most popular ideas intended for mass appeal, or if you are running a game in a curated setting with select fantasy ideas intended for a niche audience. Even a kitchen sink setting can have a few restrictions for the sake of keeping the game simple to prep and run for the GM, and to create a more focused or cohesive experience for the players.
4. Don't Ruin the Mood
People go to see movies for the kind of movie it promises to be. An action movie that's just sad and doesn't have very much action would be disappointing. Now imagine going to see a horror move that has 15 minutes of good, uninterrupted comedy that breaks all the tension. Imagine going to comedy that has 15 minutes of uninterrupted violence and gore that leaves you feeling too disgusted to enjoy the rest of the humor. Some people think a TTRPG has room for everything, but for me, these are examples of ruining the mood. Tell your players to be considerate of the mood of a scene or situation, especially when the focus is on another player character. Tell your players the kind of mood or overall tone you want for your game. Do you want a game with a more serious tone like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars, or do you want a game with a whacky fun tone like a Marvels movie or even some cartoon. Tell your players to make a character who suits the tone of the game.
5. Compatible Playstyles
This is a response to the famous excuse "I'm just playing my character TM". Every player plays differently. Your playstyle describes more than what your fantastic race / background / class is, but also how you play it. Define how you want your players to play the game from the beginning. I want the players to have cooperative playstyles, but I find too often that there are players who have made characters who not cooperative. They make crazy, loner, mischievous, selfish, greedy, or violent characters. The intent may be innocent, but the effect is that their playstyle is incompatible with others' if not antagonistic. They inevitably complicate or ruin a scene or goal for another player and spoil the fun for them. The offending player provides the famous excuse TM, and they avoid taking responsibility or making changes to their playstyle. Don't give your players the opportunity to even make that character. At character creation, tell your players they need to make a character who can work as part of a team and play collaboratively. Suggest that the players all make characters who are morally compatible or who share the same beliefs, values, or goals.
There you go. These five rules should stop your players from making that chaotic neutral cyborg ninja turtle-kin from the future who multiclassed into batman and power rangers and who worships the god of math and speaks in the third person using a Jersey accent and he loves eating mustard by itself. As a bonus sixth tip, tell your players they need to make a likable character, and that is a concept itself that will have to be defined, but most importantly it means don't make an asshole or a dick.
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