Baseball Sucks - Steroids Would Make it Better!

Baseball is boring! The first baseball game I remember was not necessarily the first baseball game I went to. I complained so much about how bored I was that we left in about fifteen minutes. Baseball is probably the easiest sport to learn and to play. Baseball is so lame, the greatest baseball player ever was a fat guy. The only thing you ever hear about baseball is the steroid use, which actually sounds like a beautifully untapped potential for money and entertainment!

Legalize steroid use in baseball! I think I'll start my own baseball league where all players are required to use steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. Sleep in an elevation tent too! The bigger, faster, harder, and stronger you are, the more interesting the game. Could you imagine a baseball league where all the players were jacked! I'd watch that! I want to see a sport where all the players are badass! I want to see a sport that demonstrates the full potential of a human being. I want to see what this species can do! I want a league with it's obscene records! Maybe we can even make the diamond bigger to accommodate all the giants and titans running around.

I'd even let them dress however they wanted. Sleeveless? Sure. Tuxedo? Terrific! Banana Hammock? We can print a team logo on that! Nude? No problem! Just as long as you have your number plainly visible. You could even wear a cape or dress like a lucha libre. Sounds good to me. I encourage a team to resemble or parody a super hero team.

Also, you're required to have an nontraditional team name like Killer Bastards, Evil Space Aliens, or Fuzzy Pickled Robots. None of that animals crap. Who the fuck wants to watch The Sharks vs The Polar Bears? Only if it's a real shark and polar bear goddamn you! I want to see Demonic Babies vs Ghost Voyuers!

You know what else? Mixed sexes! As long as you are willing to follow the drug rules and have the skills to make the team, you're in! It's baseball, there's not a whole lot of physical contact. It's all about skill and ability here. Weight Class and Age are bigger factors for an athlete here.

I'd call it the SBL - The Super Baseball League, or something like that.

Comic Idea Finally Coming to Life!

Page 1 at Deviant Art as of 9/1/2013! It's a fantasy story about a mysterious young, whimsical bard named Josephine. She travels the world for adventure, singing songs and writing stories. In a medieval setting, she's dangerously equipped with ideas and technology far more sophisticated that any existing culture. She's often  able to bluff her way out of great danger, but when she can't the magic at her command and her seemingly inability to die surprise and challenge all.

The Book of Joshua has More Holes than Twilight

Because my name is Joshua, every religious person I've ever met in my adulthood has told me I should read the book of Joshua.

The book of Joshua has some serious flaws that cause me outrage. None seem more abhorrent than the character God's personal definition of the word "Forsaken." Right away, God tells Joshua that he will not forsake Joshua as he did not forsake Moses. Let's go off on a tangent. I think the story of Moses is common knowledge. Rather than use his almighty powers for good himself, God commissions a weak, flawed mortal, Moses, with the burden of God's responsibility which is to free the Israelites from slavery. Why God allowed his chosen people to become enslaved in the first place is another problem because it means either God permitted slavery which makes him evil or God failed to prevent slavery which means he is not almighty. Later, God strands Moses and the Jews in the desert for forty years as an extremely unfair, horribly brutal punishment for something Moses himself did not do which is unjust because Moses is innocent. Also, God doesn't let anyone actually get home, which I believe makes God a liar if he ever said the Jews would be led to Salvation or anything to that effect.

Let's address the seriousness of this because it's wicked. God is everyone's role model and he is supposedly Good. What is good about him in this story? It's a story about a fucking asshole. Due to Gods' action or inaction, innocent people are enslaved and first born sons including babies are killed. What if I did that? You'd hate my guts. You'd think me a wretch. Yet, not only does God get away with this, he is praised and worshiped for it. It's a double standard. God preaches good and does evil. He's a hypocrite. He's a brute who hands out extreme punishment for things that are ultimately harmless to simple people who don't know better. The relationship between God and his followers sounds like a relationship of one-sided abuse and this is what Christians learn as moral. This is an example they live by. Shit!

So while the Israelites were stranded in the desert and possibly for the time that they were enslaved (which I can't get over!), Israel had some squatters and they decided to claim Israel as their homeland. God is truly a worthless house sitter! Next God tells Joshua that he's being commissioned to take Israel back. Israel by the way is the land which God promised to the Jews to possess! So once again, God is refusing to accept any responsibility for what can be interpreted as either his failures or negligence, possibly deliberate, and doesn't remove the squatters himself (in a peaceful way!), but instead sends someone in his name and place who is significantly less qualified. And by "commission," God of course means "coercion" because who would or could tell God no? Additionally, why does God require the Jews to take back their home and expel the invaders? Why can't they learn to live side by side in peace and harmony! Mother fucker!

God also tells Joshua that the task will require his people to suffer and die to complete. More cruelty! Joshua and his people are now being forced to suffer and die again against their will to correct errors in God's righteous, almighty judgment.

All this and I only read <1 page of ~30.