Friday, May 27, 2016

Bravely Defualt is Actually the Greatest Game of All Time

OK, so that feminist popculture critic who shall not be named is full of crap. Brilliant opening statement, Joshua! Thank you, Joshua! You're welcome Joshua, and may I say you're looking especially smart today! Why, thank you Joshua, let's make out. *Slurping and licking noises and such*

If you want to know how video games can be harmful, I recommend using Bravely Default as an example! Bravely Default is an RPG made by the intellectually default Square Enix. I finally gave in and bought it because I was Jonesing hard for a new JRPG style game.

As I was saying, one way videogames can be harmful is this. Let's look at nerds. Has it ever occurred to you that nerds can be kind of socially awkward? Why do you think that is? Let's look at this scene where the lonely, grief-stricken hero Tiz begs one of the main characters, Agnes, to join her on her journey.

 Airy is the fairy, and she explains the plot.

Tiz offers his help.
Agnes tells Tiz to eat her futa dick.
Tiz's poetic replay shows how desperate he is.
I think this is actually the third time Agnes says no.
In case you missed it, Agnes says no again in this shot.

Tiz actually asks repeatedly in this scene and Agnes constantly tells him no. He comes across as pathetic and begging! What a lame hero! "Can I please be a character in this game?" I can't tell, but I'm not sure if this Agnes just has a strong character or if she just doesn't like Tiz because this is a work of fiction written by nerds for nerds. In reality, if someone says go away leave me alone, that means they don't like you and they want you to go away, but because this is an RPG, we see this sort of behavior where one character heroically harasses and stalks another character because they don't respect their intelligence and they think they know better. At this point, Tiz is imposing on her. Period. That's rude, I hope no one thinks of Tiz as a role model. This is why nerds are socially awkward people, they don't learn normal social etiquette.

Agnes is someone who must not know how to say no properly, and she offers to see our hero who has no self-respect back to town where they will part ways, but they don't. Together they go to the item store, the weapon store, the armor store, and then to see the king. This is a strange inconsistency in writing. Finally they go back to the city entrance and she shows some spine. She even criticizes him.

This is getting ridiculous.
Behold, my true form: Not a hero, but a guide!


She straight up tells him to get lost, and he still tries to find any way he can to shoehorn his way into her company.
Closed body language, bro.

Some people just don't know when they've crossed a line. When someone says no, some people seem to become even more persistent. This sort of behavior is not welcomed by most people, not just in situations where someone is trying to pick up on someone else, but in any situation between any people.

Yeah, he's a good person and I have no question of his motives because he's actually a bit one dimensional, but fucken hell, eh? "Look dude, piss off! Why don't you go find your own plot? How about you take your little broadsword and go kill monsters until you have enough gold for some chainmail, and go play hero in a cave somewhere. Maybe you'll find some mopey wizard who writes hack poetry about the burden of being alive in a magically enchanted forest and the two of you can hack and cast your way to level 2 so you can go visit the spooky graveyard where you can envy the dead without bothering people! Arrrgh!"