My dad often tells my adult brother to take advice based not on the advice itself but based on the individual offering advice. His words: "You should listen to your dad. (because) Your dad wants to help you."
Without knowing anything about my dad, this statement just sounds dumb but...
"You should listen to your dad." Why should you listen to your dad? Define should. Does should mean it's the right thing to do or a smart thing to do? Or if it's the smart thing to do? What if your dad is a hobo, a meth addict and an exhibitionist? Define listen. Do you mean hear or obey? Can I listen to other dads? Can I listen to anyone else?
"Your dad wants to help you." Why do you feel the need to make such a statement? Do you actually think no one else wants to help my brother? No one would look out for the best interests of another? No one else is willing to try for other people? Just one's father? You? That's the only person? This is flawed, incorrect reasoning and a harmful disposition to hold and teach. At best, a pessimistic yet practical statement by a misanthrope. At worst, faulty reasoning by a stupid, destructive individual.
The latter part is such an obvious
statement/redundancy that it indicates either someone just likes to hear
the sound of their own voice or they
lack succinctness: a quality of effective communication that gives
credit to the audience's intelligence and respect for their time as well
as demonstrating an understanding of one's own ideas.
Because my dad barely explains himself, everything he says sounds like a command.
There's an implication that my dad doesn't think my brother is smart enough to understand that a father would want to help his son. One theory is my dad makes premature judgements based on superficial, incomplete, inaccurate observations i.e. he judges a book by it's cover. Another theory is my dad is out of touch with his family and can't relate to them. Therefore, when communicating with his children, he holds a young him for whatever age that person is as a benchmark and superimposes it on the person. Thus, I assume my brother at 19 is smarter than my dad at 19.
There's an implication that my dad doesn't think his own son trusts him. Maybe he's projecting his own inability to trust others onto his son? Maybe my dad doesn't have enough self-confidence?
You could also interpret this as an (unconscious, or if they're actually smart, subtle and manipulative) expression of a desire for
obedience. If you knew my dad, you might get this vibe a couple times a year.
Or there's somehow an
implication that he thinks it's your
moral imperative to accept advise based on one's biologic relations. I can't see this coming from someone who is psychologically healthy. It sounds like the conditioning attained from years of psychological abuse. Otherwise, it's flawed reasoning that is more characteristic of people who believe in objective morality.
There's another implication that he's arrogant and thinks he's always
right. People who make absolute statements tend to be stupid people who hold many different cognitive dissonances. You could never explain to my dad how this statement comes across as arrogant no matter what. I believe he would argue that no one would think it's in any way an arrogant statement, even after you explicitly state that such was your very conclusion. My dad's mind is somehow equipped to recognize his arrogance as humility. From experience I know that he justifies anything he does by whether or not he (feels he) had good intentions.
Simply put I've learned not to indulge conversation with this person and similar people. Look at all the thoughts I had from one simple statement.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Who is the better logger? Lumberjacks vs Martial Artists
When it comes to the logging industry, who makes the better logger: Lumberjacks or Martial Artists? Discuss.
Lumberjacks are the classic definition of manly.
*They work out all day.
*They invented fighting bears.
*They have a diet of pancakes and maple syrup.
*Lumberjacks are so agile they had to invent the sport Logrolling for a challenge.
*Wolverine used to be a Lumberjack.
*Because they live deep in remote forests, they are all badass survivalists like Les Stroud.
*They're always armed. With axes and saws. Which they control masterfully.
*Axes and Saws are the only weapons that can take down a giant sequoia.
*They have manly beards.
*They drink moonshine. Also, they drink whenever they want, as much as they want, even before noon.
*They sing manly tunes.
*They only wear flannel to protect themselves from the elements because that's all they need.
Martial Artists have hardened their bones by adulthood through rigorous training. They can break wood in any from with their bare body.
*They honed their spiritual power (chi, prana, power level, etc.) through meditation which protects their bodies from harm.
*They can shoot Hadokens, (also known as throwing a Dragon Punch). See Kamehameha.
*They invented the Touch of Death - a punch to the chest that kills people instantly.
*They are one with the universe and don't need sight to have a full understanding of their surroundings or for death matches. In fact, many of their death matches are more deadly when one or more fighters is blinded.
*They can jump so high, aerial battles between martial artists are both common and spectacular. Fatalities sometimes occur because martial artists hit the ground.
*There are several times more movies, TV, and video games about martial artists than lumberjacks.
*They drink tea which is healthier than alcohol, guaranteeing greater longevity.
*Goku is a martial artists.
Lumberjacks are the classic definition of manly.
*They work out all day.
*They invented fighting bears.
*They have a diet of pancakes and maple syrup.
*Lumberjacks are so agile they had to invent the sport Logrolling for a challenge.
*Wolverine used to be a Lumberjack.
*Because they live deep in remote forests, they are all badass survivalists like Les Stroud.
*They're always armed. With axes and saws. Which they control masterfully.
*Axes and Saws are the only weapons that can take down a giant sequoia.
*They have manly beards.
*They drink moonshine. Also, they drink whenever they want, as much as they want, even before noon.
*They sing manly tunes.
*They only wear flannel to protect themselves from the elements because that's all they need.
Martial Artists have hardened their bones by adulthood through rigorous training. They can break wood in any from with their bare body.
*They honed their spiritual power (chi, prana, power level, etc.) through meditation which protects their bodies from harm.
*They can shoot Hadokens, (also known as throwing a Dragon Punch). See Kamehameha.
*They invented the Touch of Death - a punch to the chest that kills people instantly.
*They are one with the universe and don't need sight to have a full understanding of their surroundings or for death matches. In fact, many of their death matches are more deadly when one or more fighters is blinded.
*They can jump so high, aerial battles between martial artists are both common and spectacular. Fatalities sometimes occur because martial artists hit the ground.
*There are several times more movies, TV, and video games about martial artists than lumberjacks.
*They drink tea which is healthier than alcohol, guaranteeing greater longevity.
*Goku is a martial artists.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
I Hate Cereal Commercials
When I was a kid, most cereal commercials rocked. Now, I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore. These commercials are lame and lousy. I guess it's all OK because everything is new to the 7 and under demographic. I think a lot of the themes used for cereal commercial characters and situations come from the 50's and they're obsolete. It's a cultural void sucking in our best values and exposing our old bullshity ones.
Fruit Loops
The most normal cereal commercials are for fruit loops and they suck. Why the hell are Tukan Sam and his triplet nephews doing exploring very dangerous parts of the world in search of his own cereal - which they steal! The parts of this idea that are original are stupid. On their adventures they always encounter some giant monster that wants to kill them over a matter of 4 bowls of cereal. Somehow they escape with a sample and the monster ends up tripping on his misplaced competence (Oh, there is was!) and falling into some scooby-doo-esque trap that was pre-existing as a feature of whatever environment they're in. These commercials are so ridiculously fast paced, I think they're distorting your children's sense of time. No creativity goes into this whatsoever.
Cocoa Puffs
They're crunchy! They're munchy! They're chocolatey!
"Sonny, please stay calm. You're having an episode."
They're Mother Fucking Cocoa Puffs!
"Mr. Cucko Bird, please respond if you can hear my voice."
COCOA PUFFS! Get out of my way, bastard! Daddy needs his medicine!
"He's starting to hallucinat! Don't let him touch you!"
*crash* *bang*
"Oh SHIT!"
COCOA PUFFS! ROAR! COCOA PUFFS!
"Uh-Oh! Hurry with the tranquilizers, Ned! He's got a knife!"
I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs! CUCKOO for COCOA PUFFS! OOWAAAAOHHHHHH!
*Wham* *BASH*
"MY EYE! OH GOD, MY EYE!"
*CRASH* *BOOM*
"Argh! NOOO! AHHHH!"
Gotta get me some o'dat chocolate!
"OHHHHohoho. Ohhhhh..."
"Huff, puff. Jim! My god! My. God."
Sweet, sweet chocolate!
"It's time for a nap, Sonny."
*Pow*
Oooooh Whoa! Oooh. Oooooooooh hoohoo. Oof.
*Thud*
"Oh Jesus, it's over. It's all finally over."
"For now, Matt. It is for now."
Here's my idea for Cocoa Puffs commercials: Anything but the crazy shtick. It always sucked.
Honey Nut Cheerios
I actually love this cereal, but now Buzz Bee is somehow the only citizen from his bee and honey themed city that does not resemble a beehive whatsoever who is fighting off pirates and thieves and monsters and aliens and shit from stealing all their honey which is their food. Are all these other bees just the laziest assholes in the world? How is it the only some child and his color-coordinated, proportionately distinct friends can do anything? Where are the cops or the army? Notice no one gets hurt and nothing gets broken ever. Then they have an award ceremony that shames Princess Leah and the rebellion. Bah. These commercials are so weird I can't even remember where the cereal comes in. Do they force-feed it to the bad guys to make them stop? That sounds easy enough yet legally questionable.
Get us something better.
Trix
Fuck this rabbit. Get a job. Buy some cereal. Borrow some cereal. Beg for cereal. Stop trying to steal it from children. Those children are assholes anyway. Find some other children who aren't actually assholes. And what's with this "Trix are for kids" bullshit? I can understand if rabbits aren't supposed to eat this food because it's not good for them, but for kids only and no one else? I don't want to my kids to learn discrimination even if it's charming. Fuck you, Trix. I mean that.
I never liked the Trix theme of the rabbit trying to con some kids out of their cereal or just plain steal it. The kids would never freak out either. In some cases, they were almost the victims of theft! Cry for help! There's a stranger doing weird shit. This is not how you react to liars and thieves. To me, it just makes the kids look cruel. This poor rabbit just wants some Trix and these kids know it. He's been trying for years, and not one damn kid ever shares. They always look so satisfied when they deprive the Trix bunny of a meal. FUCK! Why don't the kids just trap him and mail him in a box without any holes to a foreign country with fragile crossed out.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
I can't believe they're allowed to do this. This is Christmas Critter shit. There's something sick about cannibalistic, wild eyed cereal pieces who's madness invokes genuine responses of fear in the faces of the other cereal pieces right before they fucking die! They die a gruesome death too - being eaten alive. The killer cereal pieces are disturbingly happy after killing someone else. A lack of value for life and suffering is disturbing to sensitive people and children. When I was a kid, something like this would have made me feel sad. No exaggeration. I would have a knot in my stomach over this imagery. It's not graphic per se, but the concept is there and vivid enough.
Apple Jacks
I always hated these commercials. They don't taste like apples, so why do you kids eat them? Kids pause for a minute then celebrate that they "just do" and no adult understands that. Psh. What it does is it creates some kind of illusion in children's mind that you have some special perspective of the world that adults lack. I think this is more of an illusion we impose on ourselves that children are pure and innocent and special. They're not, they just dumb. Kids aren't special. Fuck you.
Then the later theme of a laid-back cinnamon stick who competes with a bitter apple. Never liked this crap either. I hate it when one character is always the loser, even in Tom & Jerry. No misfortune ever befalls cinnamon and it makes him look like such a douche bag when that asshole apple catastrophically loses. He's clearly insecure about being short and fat and that's why he feels the need to cheat all the time. I think this creates social stigmas and a judgmental mentality. Don't try to help the poor, insecure, disadvantaged cheater apple, who's short and fat and that makes him bad. Don't try to understand his pain. He's a cheater and that makes it OK to celebrate his failure, demonize him, then move on with out lives.
Captain Crunch
I don't even remember these commercials, but somehow I remember them being good. Fuck you Kelloggs.' I would have told Michelle Obama where she can stick it and then what she could go do after. This is America. We have a free market and we have the freedom to sell whatever unhealthy shit we want. Stop trying to curb our freedoms and stop teaching kids that it's OK to impose our will on others! Asshole.
Rice Krispies
I don't remember these, but I think it had something to do with the noise made by the cereal as it sits in the milk. I liked the cereal fine, but I can't remember seeing the mascots do anything. Lame.
Any Flintstones Cereal
When I was a kid, I liked these commercials. Barney wasn't an asshole thief, he was a hero and Fred was being a selfish asshole. Now, I can only see the shitty behavior and irresponsibility of both parties. Go to the store and get your own, Barney! You violate people's privacy, vandalize, litter, and steal! Your schemes are clearly a cry for help. They're all overly complicated and time consuming. They can't possibly be simpler than going to the store! Do you have money issues? Are you depraved? A bored and crappy person? What the hell! And Fred, call the police! Don't threaten him with a violent shake of your fist while screaming and then chasing after him! What you must've done to make Barney act this way. Classic.
Also, the ideas for these started to suck recently.
Cookie Crisp
Fuck. Cookie Crisp.
My Cereal Commercial Ideas
*Another flavor, a different one each time, usually a weird one like kitchen sink sponge or soap or rotten banana peel, wants to be a part of the cereal, and the current flavor has to say no and keep him out. This usually involves the current flavor turning him down and going back inside his box. Slapstick gags follow where the current flavor cleverly defends his cereal's flavor from inside the box which is used like his fortress equipped with trap.
*Some guys are on their lunch break. One of them is eating cereal for breakfast and another one is somehow turned off by this. Seinfeld conversations and mockery with wordplay and droll humor ensue.
*Two kids are denied cereal for lunch in the school cafeteria so they have to sneak home from school for some. This could involve disusing themselves as bushes, going to the computer lab and ordering a rocket from acme, shipping themselves in boxes, or stealing cars from the parking lot of their school. They can't be seen by their family either. Then they have to return to school and slip past an authority figure who narrowly, accidentally catches them.
*Finally, I think TeamFourStar should have Vegetta and Nappa push some cereal. Maybe you could make Saiyajin O's or something. I would buy that cereal to support the commercials.
Fruit Loops
The most normal cereal commercials are for fruit loops and they suck. Why the hell are Tukan Sam and his triplet nephews doing exploring very dangerous parts of the world in search of his own cereal - which they steal! The parts of this idea that are original are stupid. On their adventures they always encounter some giant monster that wants to kill them over a matter of 4 bowls of cereal. Somehow they escape with a sample and the monster ends up tripping on his misplaced competence (Oh, there is was!) and falling into some scooby-doo-esque trap that was pre-existing as a feature of whatever environment they're in. These commercials are so ridiculously fast paced, I think they're distorting your children's sense of time. No creativity goes into this whatsoever.
Cocoa Puffs
They're crunchy! They're munchy! They're chocolatey!
"Sonny, please stay calm. You're having an episode."
They're Mother Fucking Cocoa Puffs!
"Mr. Cucko Bird, please respond if you can hear my voice."
COCOA PUFFS! Get out of my way, bastard! Daddy needs his medicine!
"He's starting to hallucinat! Don't let him touch you!"
*crash* *bang*
"Oh SHIT!"
COCOA PUFFS! ROAR! COCOA PUFFS!
"Uh-Oh! Hurry with the tranquilizers, Ned! He's got a knife!"
I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs! CUCKOO for COCOA PUFFS! OOWAAAAOHHHHHH!
*Wham* *BASH*
"MY EYE! OH GOD, MY EYE!"
*CRASH* *BOOM*
"Argh! NOOO! AHHHH!"
Gotta get me some o'dat chocolate!
"OHHHHohoho. Ohhhhh..."
"Huff, puff. Jim! My god! My. God."
Sweet, sweet chocolate!
"It's time for a nap, Sonny."
*Pow*
Oooooh Whoa! Oooh. Oooooooooh hoohoo. Oof.
*Thud*
"Oh Jesus, it's over. It's all finally over."
"For now, Matt. It is for now."
Here's my idea for Cocoa Puffs commercials: Anything but the crazy shtick. It always sucked.
Honey Nut Cheerios
I actually love this cereal, but now Buzz Bee is somehow the only citizen from his bee and honey themed city that does not resemble a beehive whatsoever who is fighting off pirates and thieves and monsters and aliens and shit from stealing all their honey which is their food. Are all these other bees just the laziest assholes in the world? How is it the only some child and his color-coordinated, proportionately distinct friends can do anything? Where are the cops or the army? Notice no one gets hurt and nothing gets broken ever. Then they have an award ceremony that shames Princess Leah and the rebellion. Bah. These commercials are so weird I can't even remember where the cereal comes in. Do they force-feed it to the bad guys to make them stop? That sounds easy enough yet legally questionable.
Get us something better.
Trix
Fuck this rabbit. Get a job. Buy some cereal. Borrow some cereal. Beg for cereal. Stop trying to steal it from children. Those children are assholes anyway. Find some other children who aren't actually assholes. And what's with this "Trix are for kids" bullshit? I can understand if rabbits aren't supposed to eat this food because it's not good for them, but for kids only and no one else? I don't want to my kids to learn discrimination even if it's charming. Fuck you, Trix. I mean that.
I never liked the Trix theme of the rabbit trying to con some kids out of their cereal or just plain steal it. The kids would never freak out either. In some cases, they were almost the victims of theft! Cry for help! There's a stranger doing weird shit. This is not how you react to liars and thieves. To me, it just makes the kids look cruel. This poor rabbit just wants some Trix and these kids know it. He's been trying for years, and not one damn kid ever shares. They always look so satisfied when they deprive the Trix bunny of a meal. FUCK! Why don't the kids just trap him and mail him in a box without any holes to a foreign country with fragile crossed out.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
I can't believe they're allowed to do this. This is Christmas Critter shit. There's something sick about cannibalistic, wild eyed cereal pieces who's madness invokes genuine responses of fear in the faces of the other cereal pieces right before they fucking die! They die a gruesome death too - being eaten alive. The killer cereal pieces are disturbingly happy after killing someone else. A lack of value for life and suffering is disturbing to sensitive people and children. When I was a kid, something like this would have made me feel sad. No exaggeration. I would have a knot in my stomach over this imagery. It's not graphic per se, but the concept is there and vivid enough.
Apple Jacks
I always hated these commercials. They don't taste like apples, so why do you kids eat them? Kids pause for a minute then celebrate that they "just do" and no adult understands that. Psh. What it does is it creates some kind of illusion in children's mind that you have some special perspective of the world that adults lack. I think this is more of an illusion we impose on ourselves that children are pure and innocent and special. They're not, they just dumb. Kids aren't special. Fuck you.
Then the later theme of a laid-back cinnamon stick who competes with a bitter apple. Never liked this crap either. I hate it when one character is always the loser, even in Tom & Jerry. No misfortune ever befalls cinnamon and it makes him look like such a douche bag when that asshole apple catastrophically loses. He's clearly insecure about being short and fat and that's why he feels the need to cheat all the time. I think this creates social stigmas and a judgmental mentality. Don't try to help the poor, insecure, disadvantaged cheater apple, who's short and fat and that makes him bad. Don't try to understand his pain. He's a cheater and that makes it OK to celebrate his failure, demonize him, then move on with out lives.
Captain Crunch
I don't even remember these commercials, but somehow I remember them being good. Fuck you Kelloggs.' I would have told Michelle Obama where she can stick it and then what she could go do after. This is America. We have a free market and we have the freedom to sell whatever unhealthy shit we want. Stop trying to curb our freedoms and stop teaching kids that it's OK to impose our will on others! Asshole.
Rice Krispies
I don't remember these, but I think it had something to do with the noise made by the cereal as it sits in the milk. I liked the cereal fine, but I can't remember seeing the mascots do anything. Lame.
Any Flintstones Cereal
When I was a kid, I liked these commercials. Barney wasn't an asshole thief, he was a hero and Fred was being a selfish asshole. Now, I can only see the shitty behavior and irresponsibility of both parties. Go to the store and get your own, Barney! You violate people's privacy, vandalize, litter, and steal! Your schemes are clearly a cry for help. They're all overly complicated and time consuming. They can't possibly be simpler than going to the store! Do you have money issues? Are you depraved? A bored and crappy person? What the hell! And Fred, call the police! Don't threaten him with a violent shake of your fist while screaming and then chasing after him! What you must've done to make Barney act this way. Classic.
Also, the ideas for these started to suck recently.
Cookie Crisp
Fuck. Cookie Crisp.
My Cereal Commercial Ideas
*Another flavor, a different one each time, usually a weird one like kitchen sink sponge or soap or rotten banana peel, wants to be a part of the cereal, and the current flavor has to say no and keep him out. This usually involves the current flavor turning him down and going back inside his box. Slapstick gags follow where the current flavor cleverly defends his cereal's flavor from inside the box which is used like his fortress equipped with trap.
*Some guys are on their lunch break. One of them is eating cereal for breakfast and another one is somehow turned off by this. Seinfeld conversations and mockery with wordplay and droll humor ensue.
*Two kids are denied cereal for lunch in the school cafeteria so they have to sneak home from school for some. This could involve disusing themselves as bushes, going to the computer lab and ordering a rocket from acme, shipping themselves in boxes, or stealing cars from the parking lot of their school. They can't be seen by their family either. Then they have to return to school and slip past an authority figure who narrowly, accidentally catches them.
*Finally, I think TeamFourStar should have Vegetta and Nappa push some cereal. Maybe you could make Saiyajin O's or something. I would buy that cereal to support the commercials.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Writing Conventions of Anime, Part 1
I have seen a lot of anime. Before Netflix, I made a list of all the anime franchises I've seen (not counting hentai or ecchi). I counted things only once even if I saw multiple entries from one franchise; for example there are more than 23 Lupin III movies of which I might have seen 17 and I list Lupin III as 1 item. With that in mind, this list had over 130 items on it. I stopped caring about anime around then because it became all the same to me; seemingly generic. Still, I'm no closer to understand the strange, FUCKING WEIRD culture of Japan than I was after only seeing a handful of anime, but I do consider myself an authority on overused and crappy writing styles, techniques, motifs, themes, elements and such of anime which I'm compiling here in a list I'm calling Writing Conventions of Anime. I lost the original list too, so I'll be starting from scratch.
1) Character Archetypes.
Goku from DBZ. Serena from Sailor Moon. Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!. Ash Ketchem from Pokemon. Vash the Stampede from Trigun. Yusuke Yurameshi from YuYu Hakusho. Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. Naruto. Eikichi Onizuka from GTO. Ranma Saotome from Ranma1/2. Lufi from One Piece. Excel from Excel Saga. InuYasha. What do all of these characters have in common? They're all simpletons who are unlikely heroes and unexpectedly very gifted at whatever it is they do and while they're rough around the edges, they're all very compassionate human beings. Likewise, what do the characters Vegeta, Seto Kaiba, Gary Oak, Knives, Hiei, Aoshi Shinomori, Sasuke Uchiha, Tatewaki Kuno, Il Palazzo, and Sesshomaru have in common? They're all gifted, privileged, talented yet arrogant and mean, sometimes cruel people who excel in life.
These are two common character types which tend to come in pairs. I call them the Peasant and the Noble because I suspect that the origins of these character types come from powerful culturally rooted stories about classism which was a big thing for much of Japans' feudal era which is close to 800 or so years. Peasants are unrefined, uneducated, untrained, but most people are lower or middle class and can easily identify with the peasant. The nobles such as merchants, artisans, warriors, and lords were all arrogant dicks who looked down on others.
The most well known samurai is Miyamoto Musashi. His is the romantic story of a peasant who overcame class discrimination to become the most highly regarded warrior of his time. Samurai lined up to duel him. He won his first duel by provoking his opponent who spat in the face which created an opening Musashi seized as an opportunity to brutally beat the man to death with a wooden sword. He won his last duel by purposly arriving an hour late and he used a boat oar. Hot damn!
People seem to like the Noble too. Characters like Vegeta, Sasuke, and Seto are very popular. Interestingly enough, the Noble's story tends to be about personal growth and redemption where they hit a lot of low points whereas the Peasant's story is about overcoming challenge through willpower and the fulfillment of dreams. The Noble tends to be redeemed directly or indirectly through the Peasant and they become friends. Sometimes, best friends.
My favorite Peasant and Noble pair? I don't have one. You?
1) Character Archetypes.
Goku from DBZ. Serena from Sailor Moon. Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!. Ash Ketchem from Pokemon. Vash the Stampede from Trigun. Yusuke Yurameshi from YuYu Hakusho. Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. Naruto. Eikichi Onizuka from GTO. Ranma Saotome from Ranma1/2. Lufi from One Piece. Excel from Excel Saga. InuYasha. What do all of these characters have in common? They're all simpletons who are unlikely heroes and unexpectedly very gifted at whatever it is they do and while they're rough around the edges, they're all very compassionate human beings. Likewise, what do the characters Vegeta, Seto Kaiba, Gary Oak, Knives, Hiei, Aoshi Shinomori, Sasuke Uchiha, Tatewaki Kuno, Il Palazzo, and Sesshomaru have in common? They're all gifted, privileged, talented yet arrogant and mean, sometimes cruel people who excel in life.
These are two common character types which tend to come in pairs. I call them the Peasant and the Noble because I suspect that the origins of these character types come from powerful culturally rooted stories about classism which was a big thing for much of Japans' feudal era which is close to 800 or so years. Peasants are unrefined, uneducated, untrained, but most people are lower or middle class and can easily identify with the peasant. The nobles such as merchants, artisans, warriors, and lords were all arrogant dicks who looked down on others.
The most well known samurai is Miyamoto Musashi. His is the romantic story of a peasant who overcame class discrimination to become the most highly regarded warrior of his time. Samurai lined up to duel him. He won his first duel by provoking his opponent who spat in the face which created an opening Musashi seized as an opportunity to brutally beat the man to death with a wooden sword. He won his last duel by purposly arriving an hour late and he used a boat oar. Hot damn!
People seem to like the Noble too. Characters like Vegeta, Sasuke, and Seto are very popular. Interestingly enough, the Noble's story tends to be about personal growth and redemption where they hit a lot of low points whereas the Peasant's story is about overcoming challenge through willpower and the fulfillment of dreams. The Noble tends to be redeemed directly or indirectly through the Peasant and they become friends. Sometimes, best friends.
My favorite Peasant and Noble pair? I don't have one. You?
Award Shows are Stupid
First off, it's perfectly natural to want appreciation. That said, award ceremonies/shows are stupid. If your ability or credibility as an artist is somehow validated because of an award, that's bullshit. Good art is good art. Bad art is bad art. End of discussion. Popularity and awards are not merits but such is the politics of the Art World which is in dire need of some sense.
1) Competition.
The biggest problem with the award show is this: The works of art are not held to some criteria as much as they are compared to each other. Films for instance are only compared to the other films that were released in the same year. In that way, films do not win awards because they are necessarily any good, they win awards because they're better than the other films of that year. Imagine if one year all the films were bad. Total pieces of shit could win the same awards earned by actually great movies from previous years. To wit, an award is only as prestigious as the worst movie to earn said award.
2) Who judges and what's the criteria?
As I already explained in point number one, I think that this point is moot. Interestingly enough though, the understanding of the word moot is a misnomer. Moot actually means that something is open to discussion or debate. So really, I should say that this point redundant. Yes! No research!
3) Sensationalize.
Is the award ceremony an empty excuse to celebrate or are we celebrating the occasion of the award ceremony? The reason why such events are made into glamorous spectacles is most likely money. You make anything seem special enough, people buy into the illusion. If enough people buy into the illusion, you can put it on TV and it becomes an expensive commercial hour.
4) They're stuffy and boring even if people curse, flash the audience, make out with everyone else, or shit.
It's like in Kung Fu Panda when Po learned the secret ingredient of Secret Ingredient Soup. Some people think award shows are special. They're not. Art is amazing. The award ceremony is a shallow occasion to cash in on the success and popularity of art. People who create art for art sake and because they are passionate are special. People who create art for status, money, fame and appreciation are lame and disappointing.
1) Competition.
The biggest problem with the award show is this: The works of art are not held to some criteria as much as they are compared to each other. Films for instance are only compared to the other films that were released in the same year. In that way, films do not win awards because they are necessarily any good, they win awards because they're better than the other films of that year. Imagine if one year all the films were bad. Total pieces of shit could win the same awards earned by actually great movies from previous years. To wit, an award is only as prestigious as the worst movie to earn said award.
2) Who judges and what's the criteria?
As I already explained in point number one, I think that this point is moot. Interestingly enough though, the understanding of the word moot is a misnomer. Moot actually means that something is open to discussion or debate. So really, I should say that this point redundant. Yes! No research!
3) Sensationalize.
Is the award ceremony an empty excuse to celebrate or are we celebrating the occasion of the award ceremony? The reason why such events are made into glamorous spectacles is most likely money. You make anything seem special enough, people buy into the illusion. If enough people buy into the illusion, you can put it on TV and it becomes an expensive commercial hour.
4) They're stuffy and boring even if people curse, flash the audience, make out with everyone else, or shit.
It's like in Kung Fu Panda when Po learned the secret ingredient of Secret Ingredient Soup. Some people think award shows are special. They're not. Art is amazing. The award ceremony is a shallow occasion to cash in on the success and popularity of art. People who create art for art sake and because they are passionate are special. People who create art for status, money, fame and appreciation are lame and disappointing.
Whence Cometh Evil? I Found Out.
I like to make this analogy every now and then. Imagine that there are space aliens who know we're here. They don't make first contact with us because they believe intervention at this point in our history is dangerous for us and them. Instead, they observe us. What do you think this Star-Aged culture thinks of us? Do they think we're horrible or noble or somewhere in between?
The way I see it, they will not pass such judgement at all. They understand that we are a young species with a primitive culture. In fact, they even draw parallels between our history and theirs. They'll be using their own history to chart our development and they even have an accurate prediction of when we will be able to join them. They're waiting for the day when we, their cosmic neighbors, will finally be sophisticated enough to greet. In the meantime, they are also studying us as a way of observing their own history in action.
These ETs are so advanced that they have an interesting new social science called The Study of Planetary Development or perhaps The Development of Intelligent Culture where they study how intelligent life goes from fire and stone tools to star ships and immortality. I believe there are constants in how every intelligent society develops. I believe we are a planet that does not stray far from the established norm given our resources and the size of our brains.
This is how I put the the world into perspective. This is how I am able to overlook the flaws of our society and forgive the flaws of people. I am able recognize that relatively speaking, we as a world culture are still juvenile and therefore our societal evils should be forgiven because we're not evil, we simply don't know better. I don't believe in evil. Humans, like all species, are inherently ignorant.
The way I see it, they will not pass such judgement at all. They understand that we are a young species with a primitive culture. In fact, they even draw parallels between our history and theirs. They'll be using their own history to chart our development and they even have an accurate prediction of when we will be able to join them. They're waiting for the day when we, their cosmic neighbors, will finally be sophisticated enough to greet. In the meantime, they are also studying us as a way of observing their own history in action.
These ETs are so advanced that they have an interesting new social science called The Study of Planetary Development or perhaps The Development of Intelligent Culture where they study how intelligent life goes from fire and stone tools to star ships and immortality. I believe there are constants in how every intelligent society develops. I believe we are a planet that does not stray far from the established norm given our resources and the size of our brains.
This is how I put the the world into perspective. This is how I am able to overlook the flaws of our society and forgive the flaws of people. I am able recognize that relatively speaking, we as a world culture are still juvenile and therefore our societal evils should be forgiven because we're not evil, we simply don't know better. I don't believe in evil. Humans, like all species, are inherently ignorant.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Death Note Sucks and is Bad
First off, Light Yagame? His name is Light? Subtle. That's how you know
you're watching a kid's show; when select characters are given obviously
special, ridiculous names. Is that a proper Japanese name? If so, why did they
translate it? Is it somehow important to the mystery or the story or the
character development? I think it's just insignificant irony or a tacky writing style. Maybe it's an editorial mandate.
Death Note sucks. L and the Task Force are inept investigators. They fail to establish a means without which an opportunity is ambiguous, yet L selects his suspect Light based on the most absurd logic. L thinks Light Yagame is Kira because Light is smart and has access to a police database through his dad's home computer and really, a home computer? I think not.
Here's why L is full of shit. You have to establish a means. Without a means, a motive and an opportunity, your suspect walks. People can be suspects if they're friends, family, co-workers, or maybe if they're on the same block as a warm body (also black, but that's a whole other thing). Having an alibi generally means you didn't have a means or opportunity. You couldn't be the killer because you were shitting and everyone knows it! Another example alibi could be you were at work shitting and only your boss knows about it because he's a really great guy.
In a scenario like the one in Death Note, your suspect list has 100,000 names. With no obvious suspects to start, you skip that step and go right to the HOW. How does Kira kill? Does he use some chemical agent or Bio-weapon? A super virus? Hypnosis? Animal-Psychology? Tacos? I would assume it's something brand new and completely ingenious. Doctors would be autopsying around the clock. I'd get scientists from all over. I'd send bodies to universities, hospitals, any facility equipped with a table and a knife. There's a lot of Kira victims! Does he have people on the inside? If so, how many? Do a massive inside investigation. With whom have these criminals interacted? Who gave them their medical exams? Who fed them? Who did their laundry? Are other inmates involved? The inmate's friends and family?. Because WE the audience know the explanation is supernatural, we know that the medical exams aren't turning up jack. We know it's not the Yakuza or Mad Science or some religious fanatics. WE know L is screwed taking any real, actual route. If this crime was real, the investigation might take years. I don't recall anyone who points that out.
Here's the million dollar question: A GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT YOU DIPSHIT?! L estimated the likeliness that Light is Kira is 5%. Five fucking percent. It's more plausible that extra-terrestrials are involved. Maybe some cleaver asshole is inserting a few ringers to gut themselves in the prisons to take credit for some new disease epidemic? I recall L referring to Light's intelligence or his psychologic profile and stating that he has access to a police database. Because yeah, computers are completely hacker proof. Maybe someone else broke in and accessed that computer? Does anyone even think that Kira is probably many, many people working together? I assume L doesn't suspect Light is a goddamn wizard!
A Note about the Mystery Genre: Am I the only one who's bothered by how in mystery stories, the good guys are written by the same person who writes the bad guys? You know going into the story that there will be no loose ends and everything will be tied up in a neat little package with the perfect little bow. The mystery genre gets old fast. Hopefully the mystery is really interesting or suspenseful and dramatic enough. If not, than give me some decent characters.
That's the other thing, the characters in Death Note suck. Light sucks. His dad sucks. L sucks. Misa sucks. The shinigamis both really suck. One of the guys on the task force thinks it's really cool to be on the task force because it makes him feel like a secret agent "or something." About the shinigami's, here's a plot hole: How do shinigami eyes work? Are people's lifespans engraved in stone or do they update whenever people make a healthy or unhealthy decision? If Ryuk has the ability to see how long Light has left to live, surely he can see that Light has a year left right? Does this character seem like more of a douche bag now? You thought that other one was the douche bag. Well you're wrong, they're both douche bags.
How come Light is anywhere near as smart as L? How can he compete? L is a certified genius and was given a very, very special upbringing. Light doesn't own any video games.
I have to admit, I haven't given Death Note a fair viewing. I've been in the same room with others the entire time as they watched entire episodes, though. I should watch this show so I can really pick it apart. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle said "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." By improbable, I doubt that he allowed room for fucking magic. As far as I can tell, this story was meant to be a game of chess between two geniuses and everything else comes second: the board, the pieces, and reason.
Death Note sucks. L and the Task Force are inept investigators. They fail to establish a means without which an opportunity is ambiguous, yet L selects his suspect Light based on the most absurd logic. L thinks Light Yagame is Kira because Light is smart and has access to a police database through his dad's home computer and really, a home computer? I think not.
Here's why L is full of shit. You have to establish a means. Without a means, a motive and an opportunity, your suspect walks. People can be suspects if they're friends, family, co-workers, or maybe if they're on the same block as a warm body (also black, but that's a whole other thing). Having an alibi generally means you didn't have a means or opportunity. You couldn't be the killer because you were shitting and everyone knows it! Another example alibi could be you were at work shitting and only your boss knows about it because he's a really great guy.
In a scenario like the one in Death Note, your suspect list has 100,000 names. With no obvious suspects to start, you skip that step and go right to the HOW. How does Kira kill? Does he use some chemical agent or Bio-weapon? A super virus? Hypnosis? Animal-Psychology? Tacos? I would assume it's something brand new and completely ingenious. Doctors would be autopsying around the clock. I'd get scientists from all over. I'd send bodies to universities, hospitals, any facility equipped with a table and a knife. There's a lot of Kira victims! Does he have people on the inside? If so, how many? Do a massive inside investigation. With whom have these criminals interacted? Who gave them their medical exams? Who fed them? Who did their laundry? Are other inmates involved? The inmate's friends and family?. Because WE the audience know the explanation is supernatural, we know that the medical exams aren't turning up jack. We know it's not the Yakuza or Mad Science or some religious fanatics. WE know L is screwed taking any real, actual route. If this crime was real, the investigation might take years. I don't recall anyone who points that out.
Here's the million dollar question: A GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT YOU DIPSHIT?! L estimated the likeliness that Light is Kira is 5%. Five fucking percent. It's more plausible that extra-terrestrials are involved. Maybe some cleaver asshole is inserting a few ringers to gut themselves in the prisons to take credit for some new disease epidemic? I recall L referring to Light's intelligence or his psychologic profile and stating that he has access to a police database. Because yeah, computers are completely hacker proof. Maybe someone else broke in and accessed that computer? Does anyone even think that Kira is probably many, many people working together? I assume L doesn't suspect Light is a goddamn wizard!
A Note about the Mystery Genre: Am I the only one who's bothered by how in mystery stories, the good guys are written by the same person who writes the bad guys? You know going into the story that there will be no loose ends and everything will be tied up in a neat little package with the perfect little bow. The mystery genre gets old fast. Hopefully the mystery is really interesting or suspenseful and dramatic enough. If not, than give me some decent characters.
That's the other thing, the characters in Death Note suck. Light sucks. His dad sucks. L sucks. Misa sucks. The shinigamis both really suck. One of the guys on the task force thinks it's really cool to be on the task force because it makes him feel like a secret agent "or something." About the shinigami's, here's a plot hole: How do shinigami eyes work? Are people's lifespans engraved in stone or do they update whenever people make a healthy or unhealthy decision? If Ryuk has the ability to see how long Light has left to live, surely he can see that Light has a year left right? Does this character seem like more of a douche bag now? You thought that other one was the douche bag. Well you're wrong, they're both douche bags.
How come Light is anywhere near as smart as L? How can he compete? L is a certified genius and was given a very, very special upbringing. Light doesn't own any video games.
I have to admit, I haven't given Death Note a fair viewing. I've been in the same room with others the entire time as they watched entire episodes, though. I should watch this show so I can really pick it apart. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle said "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." By improbable, I doubt that he allowed room for fucking magic. As far as I can tell, this story was meant to be a game of chess between two geniuses and everything else comes second: the board, the pieces, and reason.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Who is Still Playing Final Fantasy?
People who were fans of the series Final Fantasy when it started were playing Final Fantasy 4 and 6 (maybe 1). Then came FF7. It brought in many, many new fans to the franchise and to the RPG genre, but because it was so different, it also challenged many of the people who were already FF fans. FF 8 and 9 challenged almost everyone. After the abhorred 10, most of us jumped ship. In fact, most people turned off their PS2s at the same point in the game, or at least that's the impression I've been given. By 10, the mind behind the franchise, Hironobu Sakaguchi, was no longer serving in a creative capacity anyway.
If I wrote a play, it wouldn't be a Shakespear. If I made a painting it wouldn't be a di Vinci. If Hironobu Sakaguchi did not produce a game then it's not a Final Fantasy. It's not Final Fantasy anymore. The last one was 9. What was once a title for a series of stories has now become a brand name. The new games being marketed to us with the title Final Fantasy should be distinguished from the ones Hironobo made. Classic FF and New FF.
So who is still playing FF? I know that some people who are still playing FF are admittedly foolishly hoping that the next game will manage to recapture the old magic. Time to pull the cord.
If I wrote a play, it wouldn't be a Shakespear. If I made a painting it wouldn't be a di Vinci. If Hironobu Sakaguchi did not produce a game then it's not a Final Fantasy. It's not Final Fantasy anymore. The last one was 9. What was once a title for a series of stories has now become a brand name. The new games being marketed to us with the title Final Fantasy should be distinguished from the ones Hironobo made. Classic FF and New FF.
So who is still playing FF? I know that some people who are still playing FF are admittedly foolishly hoping that the next game will manage to recapture the old magic. Time to pull the cord.
Innovation in Gaming is Usually Bad
In my rant about Pokemon, I said Pokemon sucks because you're doing the same thing over and over. I realized I wasn't entirely right. Sometimes, I like to do the same things over and over. It can be disappointing when a new entry in a beloved franchise is too different. I remember thinking to myself at the end of early pokemon games or other games that I was fond of, that I'd like to do it all over again, but in a different setting or with more levels. Anyone else ever feel like that? At the end of Megaman X, I just wanted more levels to play. I wanted to carry over the game play of FF7 to the next FF. I wanted more stuff to do in FF8. I'd like to play Super Mario World again, but with all different levels. Why? Because I love everything about the game but It's getting boring replaying it over and over again.
Innovation is a bad word to me. Sometimes it's good, but I think more often it gets out of hand. I have not played any Mario after the N64. I'd give it a shot to prove myself wrong, but gaming takes a lot out of me these days. I loved the old Resident Evil games. What the hell Sonic? Final Fantasy has an alien host. Mega Man X peaked at number 4. Ten out of eleven Chrono Trigger fans hated Chrono Cross. Legend of Dragoon was an unplayable mess. Breath of Fire 4 had a total tonal change and completely contradicted it's own continuity.
Whatever. That new Tomb Raider game looks awesome. And do they still make any Spyro?
Innovation is a bad word to me. Sometimes it's good, but I think more often it gets out of hand. I have not played any Mario after the N64. I'd give it a shot to prove myself wrong, but gaming takes a lot out of me these days. I loved the old Resident Evil games. What the hell Sonic? Final Fantasy has an alien host. Mega Man X peaked at number 4. Ten out of eleven Chrono Trigger fans hated Chrono Cross. Legend of Dragoon was an unplayable mess. Breath of Fire 4 had a total tonal change and completely contradicted it's own continuity.
Whatever. That new Tomb Raider game looks awesome. And do they still make any Spyro?
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Stephen Hawking is Wrong about ETs
I love the Science Channel. On many occasions, I have been treated to intellectually stimulating and satisfying programs. Thank you.
But Stephen Hawking is a pessimist and buzz-kill.
In one (or maybe more than one) program about ETs or the existence of intelligence elsewhere in the universe, Stephen Hawking has been quoted as saying that if there is sophisticated life in the universe, than we need only look at our own history to know what the outcome of first contact will be. All throughout our history, the superior civilization conquers and enslaves the inferior civilization for it's resources. So according to Hawking, it's dangerous to advertise our presence to the universe. We know the damage is already done.
Hawking, you are a disappointing pessimist. As we become more intelligent, more advanced, and more sophisticated, our civilization unlearns those stone age ideas that characterize a savage, primitive culture. While biologically, we still have the capacity for committing certain atrocities, we're getting better. We no longer approve of torture or racial discrimination and superstition is decreasing. We are getting better about our pollution and caring for our space ship called planet Earth. Your assumption that a civilization that has come so far as to master space travel has simultaneously had their culture degrade. It's very possible that a superior intelligence would regard us a cattle, but I believe if that superior intelligent, star-aged culture was us, then we would admire intelligence and life wherever it is found.
But Stephen Hawking is a pessimist and buzz-kill.
In one (or maybe more than one) program about ETs or the existence of intelligence elsewhere in the universe, Stephen Hawking has been quoted as saying that if there is sophisticated life in the universe, than we need only look at our own history to know what the outcome of first contact will be. All throughout our history, the superior civilization conquers and enslaves the inferior civilization for it's resources. So according to Hawking, it's dangerous to advertise our presence to the universe. We know the damage is already done.
Hawking, you are a disappointing pessimist. As we become more intelligent, more advanced, and more sophisticated, our civilization unlearns those stone age ideas that characterize a savage, primitive culture. While biologically, we still have the capacity for committing certain atrocities, we're getting better. We no longer approve of torture or racial discrimination and superstition is decreasing. We are getting better about our pollution and caring for our space ship called planet Earth. Your assumption that a civilization that has come so far as to master space travel has simultaneously had their culture degrade. It's very possible that a superior intelligence would regard us a cattle, but I believe if that superior intelligent, star-aged culture was us, then we would admire intelligence and life wherever it is found.
Our Ideas about Time Travel are Wrong and Suck
I love the Science Channel. On many occasions I have been treated to intellectually stimulating and satisfying programming. Thank you.
On more than one occasion, I have seen specials about quantum physics and theoretical physics. These specials are very titillating. Some of the theories however, are disappointing because they're based on our current, limited understanding of physics and the universe, and I think they rule out or neglect to consider a sufficient number of possibilities.
What do we know about time travel? Next to nothing. Let me repeat myself: We know next to nothing about time travel. So my question is, who the hell would make room in a special to discuss the Mad Scientist Theory, a theory addressing paradoxical time travel which says you can't go back in time and kill yourself. Can I make a contribution? Bull. Shit. Based on how little we know about time travel, how can you say the universe has laws in place which prevent or guard against paradoxes? Maybe the special just didn't allow for these theorists to show their work. I'm certainly not qualified to understand their work anyway, but I find it hard to believe that you with a Ph.D, can look into a camera and say "This science is absolutely correct." After all, science is about skepticism and the ideas are constantly changing.
If it is possible to travel back in time, than I say you can go back in time and kill yourself. By doing so, you become an anomaly. The universe around you changes. It alters to reflect a universe where you died. However, you still exist. Why should the universe make the distinction or the connection of these two versions of the same creature, the same collection of stardust and bio-machinery guided by a quantum computer? I say it would not. The universe doesn't hold this as a paradox. You can return to your present and look up your death records and see how everyone is getting along without you. Your problem now will be getting a new identity and starting over from scratch.
Also, Stephen Hawking has said: "If Time Travel is possible, where are all the tourists?" Good one. Don't you consider that maybe the tourists wouldn't advertise that they're tourists? Hawking also devised an experiment to disprove backwards time travel. Hold a party and extend an invitation to time travelers that will survive long enough for time travelers to read. If no one shows up to the party, however, this does not disprove time travel. You assume backwards time travel is convenient and unregulated. I'm sure there are practical or social restrictions in place to protect the time line and preserve history. You don't want to drastically alter this course of human history by spoiling the big mysteries. It is important for our society to face and overcome these trials ourselves. We must earn our place in the stars, you cannot give primitive cultures too much knowledge too soon.
How do you spot a time traveler? How do you know for sure, Dr. Hawking, that any one person in the thousands that come to see you, the expert on black holes of the 21st century, was not a citizen on the year 2700? Yours is a famous mind in our history. If backwards time travel is possible, they've come to visit you just to see what you're like or to say "I've met Stephen Hawking." Here's a tip to spotting time travelers: A sociology professor of mine postulates that in 500 years we will all have medium toned skinned, brown eyes and dark, wavy-curly hair.
On more than one occasion, I have seen specials about quantum physics and theoretical physics. These specials are very titillating. Some of the theories however, are disappointing because they're based on our current, limited understanding of physics and the universe, and I think they rule out or neglect to consider a sufficient number of possibilities.
What do we know about time travel? Next to nothing. Let me repeat myself: We know next to nothing about time travel. So my question is, who the hell would make room in a special to discuss the Mad Scientist Theory, a theory addressing paradoxical time travel which says you can't go back in time and kill yourself. Can I make a contribution? Bull. Shit. Based on how little we know about time travel, how can you say the universe has laws in place which prevent or guard against paradoxes? Maybe the special just didn't allow for these theorists to show their work. I'm certainly not qualified to understand their work anyway, but I find it hard to believe that you with a Ph.D, can look into a camera and say "This science is absolutely correct." After all, science is about skepticism and the ideas are constantly changing.
If it is possible to travel back in time, than I say you can go back in time and kill yourself. By doing so, you become an anomaly. The universe around you changes. It alters to reflect a universe where you died. However, you still exist. Why should the universe make the distinction or the connection of these two versions of the same creature, the same collection of stardust and bio-machinery guided by a quantum computer? I say it would not. The universe doesn't hold this as a paradox. You can return to your present and look up your death records and see how everyone is getting along without you. Your problem now will be getting a new identity and starting over from scratch.
Also, Stephen Hawking has said: "If Time Travel is possible, where are all the tourists?" Good one. Don't you consider that maybe the tourists wouldn't advertise that they're tourists? Hawking also devised an experiment to disprove backwards time travel. Hold a party and extend an invitation to time travelers that will survive long enough for time travelers to read. If no one shows up to the party, however, this does not disprove time travel. You assume backwards time travel is convenient and unregulated. I'm sure there are practical or social restrictions in place to protect the time line and preserve history. You don't want to drastically alter this course of human history by spoiling the big mysteries. It is important for our society to face and overcome these trials ourselves. We must earn our place in the stars, you cannot give primitive cultures too much knowledge too soon.
How do you spot a time traveler? How do you know for sure, Dr. Hawking, that any one person in the thousands that come to see you, the expert on black holes of the 21st century, was not a citizen on the year 2700? Yours is a famous mind in our history. If backwards time travel is possible, they've come to visit you just to see what you're like or to say "I've met Stephen Hawking." Here's a tip to spotting time travelers: A sociology professor of mine postulates that in 500 years we will all have medium toned skinned, brown eyes and dark, wavy-curly hair.
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