Saturday, March 30, 2013

Who is the better logger? Lumberjacks vs Martial Artists

When it comes to the logging industry, who makes the better logger: Lumberjacks or Martial Artists? Discuss.

Lumberjacks are the classic definition of manly.
*They work out all day.
*They invented fighting bears.
*They have a diet of pancakes and maple syrup.
*Lumberjacks are so agile they had to invent the sport Logrolling for a challenge.
*Wolverine used to be a Lumberjack.
*Because they live deep in remote forests, they are all badass survivalists like Les Stroud.
*They're always armed. With axes and saws. Which they control masterfully.
*Axes and Saws are the only weapons that can take down a giant sequoia.
*They have manly beards.
*They drink moonshine. Also, they drink whenever they want, as much as they want, even before noon.
*They sing manly tunes.
*They only wear flannel to protect themselves from the elements because that's all they need.

Martial Artists have hardened their bones by adulthood through rigorous training. They can break wood in any from with their bare body.
*They honed their spiritual power (chi, prana, power level, etc.) through meditation which protects their bodies from harm.
*They can shoot Hadokens, (also known as throwing a Dragon Punch). See Kamehameha.
*They invented the Touch of Death - a punch to the chest that kills people instantly.
*They are one with the universe and don't need sight to have a full understanding of their surroundings or for death matches. In fact, many of their death matches are more deadly when one or more fighters is blinded.
*They can jump so high, aerial battles between martial artists are both common and spectacular. Fatalities sometimes occur because martial artists hit the ground.
*There are several times more movies, TV, and video games about martial artists than lumberjacks.
*They drink tea which is healthier than alcohol, guaranteeing greater longevity.
*Goku is a martial artists.

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