Robin Hood RPG

I want to make a Bethesda sandbox FP style RPG about Robin Hood. How cool would it be to customize a character, join the Band of Merry Men, and go on adventures led by Robin Hood?! You'll probably have to prove yourself before you'll get to do anything really cool, like sneak into a castle. You're probably thinking, "No, fuck that. I want to BE Robin Hood!" Well I'm two steps ahead, douche. So you finally go on a big boy mission with Robin, and some big cool climactic story shit happens, and you loose track of Robin! The Band of Merry Men need a new leader, so you're elected to be in charge for now. After a while, they finally confirm that Robin Hood is dead and they let you in on a big secret: There is no Robin Hood, he's a made up character, a symbol used by the Band of Merry men to fight corruption in England. They need a new Robin Hood, and the have nominated your character. You can accept and bam! Now everyone loves you. Robin is a unisex name by the way, just FYI!

Now, what if I told you that you could backstab the Merry Man, or just go AWOL and join the Sherrif of Notingham? This guy could take you under his wing after you bring him a trophy from Robin. Now, you fight against the outlaws! Your buddy the sherrif lets you in on a secret, they know Robin Hood is not a real person, just a puppet used by the Band of Merry Men. Everyone knows, they just like to believe in heroes and legends.If you want, you can position yourself high up in the royal guard and by one way or another get rid do of the Sheriff and become the new Sheriff! How about that for choices, am I right?

That's what I really like about Public Domain. I could make that game, but change all the names. Once everyone found out it's a big allegory for Robin Hood, they'd just say "You should have called it Robin Hood instead of Dobin Jood or whatever. Why would I want to be this nobody you just fucking made up when I could be Robin Hood? Missed opportunity, I say.

How Would You "Wouldn't Be Caught Dead?"

How would you like your corpse to be discovered if you were murdered by some coward and scoundrel in your own home? Would you like to be found wearing dirty clothes, having messy hair, with empty soda cans and dirty tissues all around you? You would like your dignity intact, I suspect. I've recently been pondering the meaning of the phrase "I wouldn't be caught dead..." I think it was once upon a time used as a rule of thumb for helping gentlemen and ladies make decisions and also became a very heavy handed way to dismiss certain unwanted ideas without the bother of explaining why. Dignity and honor can be lost posthumously and there could be consequences for friends or family if you're found choking yourself with your dick out while a dominatrix is passed out from cocaine with he face planted in your evacuated bowels and sad Celine Dion plays and you;re both wearing party hats and fake pointed Spock ears. You would shame your family, I think. Although most people probably wouldn't care in this day and age because we have a much stronger sense of individuality and our deeds are no longer  reflecting on the family.

Game Vision

Anyone ever play video games recently and wonder how come your objectives and various elements on screen can be highlighted with blinking lights and arrows? How come you have a map and a radar in some games? What is this crap? Well actually, it seems likes a very common feature in video games to give the player tools that help them navigate their environment, identify important objects, track the movement of in-game characters, and more. Let's call this Game Vision, as in video game vision. Can you imagine one day humans beings possessing the ability to actually have Game Vision in real life?

Here's Fry from Futurama using his Eyephone. It's a comedy exploring the possible direction technology can take, but due to it's format being a comedy, the creative staff probably had to make this joke into a very simple visual and also, because it's a just comedy, failed to consider how this tech could be realized. Fry still has to use his eyes and hands to interact with this technology. That's not acceptable. Also, holograms? No thanks.

I started learning to type a couple years ago, that plus by gaming habits and I think I have carpal tunnnel now. I started to lament that I still have to use my body parts to interact with my smartphone. Why am I still using my fingers? What if we had eye tracking software and the cursor would follow my eye and by blinking just so I could doubleclick? What if I could just think and the apps would respond? I think the ideal Eyephone would bypass the fingers, eyes, and ears, and go straight to the brain. Game Vision is what you'll get when you make the first cyborg by combining the human brain with the future smart phone.

And your descendants will enjoy vision like this:

 In Star Ocean 3, you build a virtual map up as you explore. It gives you a compass and remembers basic information about the area such as save points and enemies.

It even gives you a crosshair!

In The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Spider Sense is represented with infrared, and he receives warnings when his opponents do things his brain recognizes as dangerous and threatening, which it's able to do well in advance. It can be very easy for a computer to identify a human shaped object and recognize that it is moving suddenly or when the silhouette takes on an offensive shape.

Batmans Detective Mode in Batman Arkam Knight tracks enemies for you! Imagine if it can anticipate their path and give you a predicted location on your virtual map so you can have an approximation for their placement in space when they're not in sight. What if it can also identify and remember which enemy is which and remember things like strengths, weaknesses and vitals for you. Batman also has some kind of radar.

 In Metal Gear 4, Snake's Solid Eye identifies objects in your field of vision as well as estimate their distance away from you, updating every time it changes. It can use information like that to give you a very intuitive sense of your space. It also tracks all kinds of activity as it happens all around you with a radar. He also has night vision mode.

Game Vision could to impose a crosshair in what you see in real life that could make aiming an automatic process for you. You would have to get used to it, but it would probably feel like using a light gun,
or a Wii remote.

Anyway, that's what I think about when I look at my phone. Woe is me. No but seriously, fuck Apple. You're not that fucking impressive, shithead! Ok? I'm not fucking impressed! You're not that fucking great. Calm the fuck down with your shitty promotions. Fuck you. Thanks for reading and remember to expect more from your purchases.