Who Stole Christmas From Who?

Christians complain that the holidays are being taken over. Christmas is really about Jesus, and everyone has lost sight of that, and it's a shame, blah blah blah. Well, the reality is that the Christians are just the last people to steal Christmas and they're being babies because everyone else is copying them and stealing Christmas too. So who's stealing Christmas? America? Atheists? Capitalism? The Jews? I would love to see a parody  about how the Christians stole Christmas from the pagans that was educational. Then, make a bunch more comedies about how the various other cultures are stealing it from the Christians. Who stole Christmas first anyway?

Predicting the Future: How They'll Use the Word "Gay"

I was at my retail store listening to some christmas music. "Don our gay apparel?" I thought to myself. "I have no gay apparel. It's all work uniform colors. That's it. That's all the clothes I really own.

My generation seems to be fond of irony. I could imagine if things went just right, we'll be using the word gay ironically, like when bad meant good. Things you like are gay now and things you don't like still suck. It might catch on during the next generation when it becomes less taboo and for which Christians won't flick holy water at their kids if they say "gays are OK." The very next generation, however, the irony party will mysteriously escape them and it'll go right over their heads. They'll think gay really means good, or happy, which is what it originally meant. The word will have gone full circle. I believe that's the natural path of words. I can't wait till "asshole" becomes "serial killer," "proctologists" means "butt guy," and when "rocket scientist" and "short bus" become interchangeable.