Monday, May 18, 2015

God's Love is Bullshit; A Final Definition of Love

Once, I thought about the feeling of love an realized it is a vaguely defined, abstract concept. Da Fuq is it! Srsly! So I gots to the innernets. I wasn't looking for a philosophical answer, which would be something ridiculous. I was looking for a scientific answer. It's all brain chemistry. Turns out it's a small mixture of chemicals in the brain that 1. make you sexually attracted to someone, 2. think they're awesome and have no flaws, and 3. think that the relationship itself is awesome and better than any other relationship ever - by a lot. Found me a scientific article to boot! *The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings. According to this, you can fall in love with anyone in 45 minutes. It's just chemicals, guys! I always did say "you could fall in love with anyone, even Hitler, if you were isolated in an intimate space with him long enough."

So basically, love is a chemical reaction! It takes place in the brain and makes you want to bone someone who your brain has tricked you into thinking is awesome. The ultimate "fuck you, brain!" joke can be found here somewhere.

So now that we've established that love is a not-special word we invented to describe what can really only be called a trick of our brain which ultimately compels us to reproduced sexually (as opposed to miraculously) and care for our offspring, surely your illusion of the over-romanticized, over-hyped, bogus money-making concept is dispelled, correct? There's no such thing as Hollywood love, Hallmark love or romantic love. Love is not a force or a power. Gravity is a force. Math is power. It's all nonsense. I had a cat for 15 years. When she died, I got a new one. Guess what, the feelings I had for that cat? I'd call that love.

So what of God's love, if I may impudent (that's right, impudent is a verb now. Get over it.)? God must have the real love right, and we have the fake love. Is that it? Our love is just some bullshit brain juice. It's the fake stuff, no matter how powerful it's effect. If you feel fit to disagree, you must be rocking the extra strength brain juice. Brain juice on steroids (new energy drink - combine with sriracha sauce for maximum effect! Only at wal-mart! Save more, live better.) So is God's love real or is God's love some fakey-ass illusion too? If your response is "no, all love is real," you're a science denier. Science denial is dangerous, fuck you. If your response is "God does have the real love and we do in fact have the fake love," then still fuck you. God is retarded.

We should accept that love is not something special. You are all free! I release you from the matrix. Embrace this truth fully and contently. You now have the knowledge to understand your illusion and stop yourself from any destructive love-driven (brain juice-induced negative) behavior. You can also find comfort and joy in knowing how simple love actually is. I think it's a much more genuine, sensible, and practical way of seeing it. I hope you all use this knowledge to make the world a better place.

*After reading the article I learned that the experiments did not show positive results.

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