Pokemon X Version Review

So I bought Pokemon X recently in anticipation for the new Moon/Sun version. It was cool. The last Pokemon game I played was Diamond but only for a few hours.

Graphics  - Meh.
This new version was a bit sparkly-er and shiny-er than Pokemon Sapphire, the last version I beat and I'm totally not into it. I like the oldschool stuff and this newschool psuedo-oldschool stuff, at least in this Pokemon game, doesn't do it for me. The only complaint I have is the camera control in Lumoise City. It was weird. Also I turned off Battle Animations almost immediately because I don't have the patience so I barely saw any of those.

Audio - Boring/Uninteresting/Unnecessary
Speaking of turning aspects of the game off, I turned off the sound because I don't care to be immersed in my video games anymore.  I like to have Youtube up or something. When I did get curious about a new bgm, I would briefly turn up the volume and be completely underwhelmed. Maybe it's just not my taste in music?

Gameplay - Nerfed yet Oddly Still Challenging Somehow
I really want to comment on this, but what review would be complete without the 2 above, subjectively valuable categories. I want to say superfluous categories because I feel like using a cool vocabulary word, but it doesn't quite fit. The game felt oddly hand-holdy.That's a word now because it's on the internet, deal with it. The NPCs gave me more free stuff than I've ever got in a game ever. The NPCs designated as my avatars' friend gave me 10 pokeballs in the first dungeon. I also got lots of free medicine in the game. I got TMs from everyone! Maybe it's because I picked the girl character and everyone thought I was hot? They also gave me 3 starter pokemon in total in this game! 3 Starters! The game was scripted to give me unlimited chances to catch this games' legendary Pokemon who I immediately sent to the PC and forgot about!

I got an EXP.Share very early, and this time the EXP.Share didn't fuck around! In other games, your EXP was divided evenly and every Pokemon in my party got jack when you used this thing. In this game, my main Pokemon still got 100% EXP and everyone else got 50% EXP. That means, if I had a full party, every Pokemon was worth 350% EXP! That's massive! Everyone is being swap trained for free, but my main Pokemon isn't taking any penalties! You know what else? I got an Amulet Coin (item that doubles your money) early on too! When I beat the game, I had over 1 Million in Pokemon currency. That's ludicrous. I'm pretty sure I could get away without buying anything in this game.

What else, no trainer in this region is dedicated to having a Pokemon team. Most trainer battles make you fight 1 Pokemon. Some make you fight 2 or 3 and in rare cases 4. What? That's different! Usually, trainers have more Pokemon than that. They must be too broke to buy Pokeballs because they keep losing their battles, except when I win they give me a year's earnings if they have a job earning minimum wage! Even the Elite Four was Nerfed. They each had 4 Pokemon! That means when you count the Pokemon Master, I only had to clear 22 Pokemon at the end of the game instead of 26!

Still, somehow I remember having to load my game over and over again. I think it had more to do with my skill level though. I still don't know all the types in this game. I barely learned half the original types from gen one. I actually felt pretty confident against Gym Leaders, Rival Battles, and the Elite Four. My biggest problem was Team Flare though, because my best and only fighting Pokemon was the fire starter, who was a combination Fire/Psychic type, and Team Flare only ever used fire and dark types! Bastards!

The dungeons and routes and puzzles were generally not memorable for me. Interesting, but I didn't care. I see those things as the less interesting parts of Pokemon for some reason. Things to hurry up and finish.

Story - Megaevolution is Bullshit
So the premise of this game is a weird one. In this game, your Pokemon PhD sponsor sends you on your quest to help him learn about Megaevolution. I never figured out Megaevolution and I didn't care. It only ever came up twice except for the tutorial part. I think Megaevolution is the flimsiest goddamn thing ever. You get a ROCK and a ROCK BRACELET and you build of bond of (guess what!) FRIENDSHIP (mind fucking blown!) and you can use a magic bullshit power to increase a Pokemons stats by a lot! Where the fuck did this come from? Is this even legal in the Pokemon league? Yay! I got a rock, let's go Super Saiyajin, Pikachu! A FUCKING ROCK and MATCHING BRACELET! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND, Gamefreak? It's obviously a gimmick and it wasn't worked in very well. I ignored it because I'm awesome.

So you also have some friends who all seem like a bunch of losers too. The only one I liked was the fat one, Tierno, because he stole something.

Screencaps taken from a letplay by TheJWittz

In the two top panels, you see Trieno just give you this stone i.e. hiding evidence. Later, you're asked where you got it. You say Trieno gave it to you and he flips right the fuck out! You know why? 'Cause he fucking stole it! He's a goddamn thief! That's why he's lying in this scene! That makes him the most interesting and mysterious character in the game. All the other friends were boring. There was Shauna who was a goof-off with no goal in life. There's Trevor who has helmet hair. Then there's the neighbor who serves as your rival and is CLEARLY not as good as you by a lot! These characters are all color coordinated like the power rangers, which I guess is cool.

There was also this thing about this really tall guy. He ruined my parade at the end of the game. Asshole.

Fuck Team Flare.

Anyway, that's about it for Pokemon. My favorite pokemon is still Pikachu. Bye.