TL;DR: See the title. This is a response to a video The HATE for Chi Chi: DEBUNKED and DESTROYED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEU7Efs7N3c.
The Audience Perspective
You know what made me feel sick in my stomach? When Toriyama revealed within the past 2 or so years that Goku is asexual and that Goku sees everyone as friends and no one as a lover (no offense to Aces if this is you. I'll explain why this is unfortunate for Goku and Chi Chi). I've heard that Goku has never kissed Chi Chi in any cannon Dragon Ball anything - manga or anime. Not sure if that's true, but I can't recall seeing it myself.
Anyway, this was a sad thing to hear because I realized that Chi Chi was probably definitely in a loveless marriage. Chi Chi loved Goku and Goku was really only around for the first 5 years of their marriage. It's harder to excuse Goku's absenteeism as a husband now. There is a lot that can be said about how bad a life Chi Chi probably had, but the problem is actually cultural; it's how people have a strange and unhealthy view of love.
Love is not free despite what any hippie tells you. Love is earned and you have to work to maintain it. The problem with marriage is that you promise to love someone forever and people change over time. That marriage vow may have just been a stupid young person decision. If you love people who don't love you back, that may not be healthy or fulfilling. There is valid criticism for investing that much of yourself in people who don't love you back. Every situation is different, but in Chi Chi's case, I think it's sad.
I can definitely understand that if it were my kid's life on the line I would definitely spaz out. If my wife were killed and my kid were kidnapped by her greatest enemy, it would probably mess me up. Note that this is a completely missed opportunity for character development that Dragon Ball did not capitalize on: trauma. It's completely understandable that Chi Chi didn't have the family she always wanted so she tried extra hard to compensate. I think she overdid it. I think she went Marie Barone (Everyone Love's Raymond reference for the loss, y'all).
I don't remember Dragon Ball Z very well anymore, all my memories have been replaced by DBZA, but I remember Chi Chi being a buzzkill. She did advocate for positions with some merit, like children shouldn't fight death matches for the fate of the world - but that's what it was and we definitely needed Gohan for one of those fights.
It's also true that Toriyama didn't know what to do with her character and as a consequence he wrote her poorly. Toriyama has also said he didn't like Chi Chi.
Anyway, I am a Chi Chi hater because I see her character as a sad person who never took care of her own emotional health and I see that she became an excessively strict mother as a consequence of her poor emotional health. Have an emotional problem? Don't address it, find a project to distract yourself, such as planning your son's life for him. Not healthy. I mean yeah, people don't understand emotional health and how to resolve emotional pain, myself included. Here's the conclusion that I'm working towards: The fact is that I just don't know whether Gohan chose his own direction in life or if Chi Chi imposed a certain direction on him. That's it. I think there are pros and cons for Gohan's path, but I have a libertarian bent and I am would resent having that kind of upbringing. I would resent having my future planned for me. Gohan may not have a problem with how his life turned out, but I see it as a result of an extreme upbringing, the kind that you could make an uncomfortable documentary about. Some people might be messed up by a having all these expectations and structure. Maybe they'll have a mid-life crisis when they realize how little of their life was lived and how much of it was made.
I also think you may also be giving Chi Chi undue credit for Gohan's genes or nature. You should never be proud of your genes, they happened by accident. Don't be proud of an accident. Bulma made a pretty tough kid too. Trunks is not a crappy jerk or an ass hole (yet?). Both Gohan and Trunks did not turn our like the prototypical saiyajin warrior and Trunks had Vegeta around as a role model.
Speaking of stupid young people decisions, you know what I just remembered? Chi Chi got engaged to Goku after barely knowing him as kids. Several years later after he completely forgot about her, she went to go fight him for forgetting about her, then she married him the same day. Did she really know who she was marrying? Goku is a simpleton, an Ace, and he's very committed to his independent passion. He's exactly the kind of person who can't make a good husband. At some point you kind of have to say "Chi Chi, find someone else who can make you happy."
By Dragon Ball Super, Goku may love Vegeta as much or more than he loves Chi Chi. Also, I'm sick of Goku's English voice. The final complaint is Gohan and Chi Chi are completely disappointing characters, but Gohan more-so because I had very different expectations for him. His personality is really lame too. Thanks Toriyama, you ass.
The Writing Perspective
Now let's discuss the character of Chi Chi from a writing perspective. I'm not the greatest writer in the universe but you know what? Neither is Akira Toriyama. I know the guy may have changed the landscape of anime, but he was shit at writing women by his own admission.
Chi Chi was a useless character on the plot of Dragon Ball. She was Yamcha before Yamcha and Yamcha was there first. Furthermore, her character served two functions after getting married to Goku: to be a pain in the ass (count them!). She was treated as a cartoonish caricature of a stereotypical helicopter mom, but the story didn't explicitly develop why she was that way. I used the word Trauma previously in this article.
Trauma usually ends up with you crying on the couch of a clinical therapist after an embarrassing intervention because you snapped at someone at the grocery store for turning the items on the conveyor belt so that the bar codes would be more convenient for the cashier. Chi Chi's husband was killed by his brother and her son abducted by her husband's worst enemy. That's trauma, baby! Phew! The scene where they told her was handled with her comically fainting. If you ever see someone faint IRL, you will be scared. Were it me, were it my family that was ruined, I could see myself sitting alone in my dark house tapping my foot endlessly while waiting for the pain to subside and desperately wondering what will become of me and my son. I could see myself going mad. I could see myself hunting down anyone and everyone who could do something about it and demanding action. I could see myself resenting anyone who couldn't or wouldn't help. I would become a neurotic mess by the time that one year of lonely anxiety was over and I'd probably have coped with pain by developing weird behaviors like Adrian Monk.
What do I recall in the anime? Chi Chi scrubbing dishes then pause to gaze up with starry eyes, sigh wistfully, and ask out loud how long Goku was going to keep her waiting (he was going to be wished back to life). Then, white knuckled, teeth gnashed, she'd say "that Goku! I ought to blah blah blah" and break a dish. Is that normal?
So, now Chi Chi is a bitch. Congratulations Toriyama! You be writing so good! Credit where credit is due, the guy knew that his audience was really there for dat Snek Wei!
Ok, so besides that fact the trauma wasn't addressed EVER, what are the actual consequences of Chi Chi on the plot of Dragon Ball? How does she effect the story? She doesn't effect the story, but obviously, she effected Gohan. If a character doesn't have an effect on the plot, are they superfluous? Chi Chi was superfluous in the Raditz story and the Vegeta / Napa story. She was completely unsuccessful at preventing Gohan from going to Namek. We also don't see evidence that Gohan's character changed as a consequence of standing up to her and telling her he was going to Namek against her wishes.
This last example, Gohan defying his mom and going to Namek, is a violation of a rule called Chekhov's Gun. A simple explanation of the rule is don't tease your audience with something that you won't deliver. Don't introduce a gun in act 1 if the gun never comes back. The audience will have an expectation that there will be a point to the gun. When they realize there was no point to the gun, they will be disappointed. It's like "you said there was a gun so I assumed there might be a conflict involving the gun or resolved by the gun. Phooey."
So when I saw that Gohan had to stand up to his mom and tell her "I'm going to Namek, deal with it," it was clearly difficult. It looked like the dynamic of this relationship from now on was going to involve Gohan learning to be defiant and tell his mom what he wants for himself at the cost of what she wants for him, what she thinks, and what she feels. Learning to stand up to authority and to do what you think is right is a part of the heroes journey, it's part of growing into an adult, it's part of being your own person. This is an instance of Gohan relying on his own judgment and taking his own risks, and living up to his own beliefs and defining his boundaries.
Gohan never stands up to Chi Chi again in any meaningful way. He becomes the ever-capitulating son. Cave into mommy again, Gohan. That's such an impressive character trait. You know there are some people who really admire Gohan for this. I can't understand why, but I've heard their arguments and they tend to be about family values. That's fine. This Chekhov's Gun is the greatest misstep in the writing of Gohan.
No, it's not Chi Chi's fault. It is entirely Toriyama's fault. Imma still hate on Chi Chi. She may be a good mother, fine whatever. She's a bad character. Emphasis on character. I'm not going to act like this character is a good character because of what we extrapolate from a combination of the material and our expectations and our understanding of human nature. Chi Chi may be an exception if she's sick. If I read in-between the lines and interpret and infer who this character is based on nothing the writer actually wrote, then I am making shit up. Did Chi Chi do a good job raising her family and was her heart genuinely in the right place? Maybe. The author hasn't convinced me that Chi Chi is well-rounded character with a healthy personality with children who have a whole and genuine appreciation of her without fear or apprehension or other conflicts that may be repressed or that they may simple be unaware of.
With the powers of Hindsight, I can tell you how I would write this.
1. Chi Chi's mental health takes a significant hit after the loss of her husband and son.
2. Gohan grows into his own individual and he has to struggle repeatedly against his mom's overbearing personality - her coping mechanism against her vulnerability to heart-crushing anxiety and even panic.
3. Chi Chi has to make peace with her son being his own person, his father's son, and overcome here mental health problems.
By the way, I would cast Gohan into the role of a reluctant hero to complement his gentle nature. It's totally do-able, you Protagonist-Gohan doubters. He can be reluctant hero in the same way that Spider-Man is a hero. Spider-Man is to his detriment compelled by an ideal that he learned from his Uncle Ben "with power comes responsibility." Gohan would similarly be compelled by external conflicts that he can't ignore. "Dad wouldn't ignore it" he could say. Chi Chi would have to accept that that is why she fell in love with Goku (right?).
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