Have you ever watched a movie super villain say he/she wanted to rule the world and thought, "Why?" Seriously, why on Tod's green earth would anyone actually want to rule the world? Why would anyone want to badly enough to actually go for it? Well I was on the john one day pondering this question when an epiphany struck: To prove that I can run this crap hole better than anyone else!
Dead serious, that is why I would like to become a super villain and conquer the world. I figure I'd rename it for that is the privilege of all conquerors, but for now let's just keep the name. After crushing all who would oppose me including everyone who works on capital hill and in the Vatican, I'd declare myself King of America and impose/implement my vision.
In my fantasies, my vision satisfies the needs of the people so that they love me and support my overthrow of all the world powers and I run the whole damn thing with ease with thanks to e-mail for making the world a manageable size. Take a moment to picture your contacts list if you were King of America.
My first order of business is to declare world peace. Booya. More “King of America” ideas to come.
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