Facebook is Bullshit, Part 3

Sometimes there's stuff on facebook that just sounds really annoying to me. Like people who post about all body sizes and shapes even though it's condescending if you're not fucking them.

Here's a list of something that's pretty annoying. It's annoying because it's obvious. If you don't like your body, I can walk any busy city street and find you 10 decent people who WOULD FUCK YOU, IMMEDIATELY. This is the kind of stuff that you learn and understand as you mature but maybe you can't appreciate before.

This list was laughably pitiful, so I took the liberty of creating a similar list for men, who also have list needs that are sated by lists of things. The point is to reflect how your inane list comes across to me.

10 FACTS EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW:

1. Your balls are huge!

2. No one has abs. Enjoy eating junk!

3. There are definitely people out there who think the size of your penis in not important. If you meet someone who thinks it is, they're probably not right for you. Don't worry about it.

4. It's called manscaping and it's universal. If that doesn't work for you, find someone with a body hair fetish.

5. Bald or baling? That's OK for men! Own that shit! Own that shit hardcore!

6. Don't look for a woman to save you. From danger? Call a fire fighter. They're nicer than the police. From the IRS? Call an accountant? Wha?

7. It's OK to masturbate 3 times a day. It's also natural. It's also natural to be inappropriately attracted to body parts.

8. No one is perfect. If you meet someone who you think comes close, you might need a dictionary. The concept of perfection is abstract and unattainable. There, now you know something. You're welcome.

9. If someone needs to be told that they should be a priority as opposed to a option, last resort, or backup plan, that's pretty sad. You should do something for them. I would defifnitely do something for them.

10. You're a man. That makes you fuckin' awesome! And since all men are fuckin' awesome, that makes the whole concept of being fuckin' awesome completely redundant. Calm down.

Sometimes, we all need to take off our captain obvious hats, which I presume looks like a giant, conspicuous boner trapped in spandex.

Facebook is Bullshit, Part 2

You learn lots of aggravating stuff about your society through facebook. Here's a post that made me angry thinking about it having any relevance to the world. It's an image I found on some guy's facebook page about how presumably stupid people view marriage.

They're serious about that underboob.

The following are my thoughts which I wanted to leave as a comment, but I thought it might be rude of me and make me a buzz kill. I don't think social media sites like Facebook should be your soapbox. So I left a link for this article in the comments. I'm sure it'll get lost in no time and no one will be able to click it. Most people wouldn't anyway, it's a link to a site called wet junk. Who would visit?

Dear E, (I'm sorry, but I'm about to be a big ass to you)
What douchbag thinks they're doing someone a favor by marrying them? Sounds like someone who doesn't understand marriage. What else is wrong with this fallacious statement? Changing your name is traditional, not mandatory. I don't know about you, but I plan on changing my name to Batman when I get married. Don't take my name unless you really think it's pretty. "Leaves her family..." Let's put it this way, when you marry me, you do not marry my friends and family, you're marrying me! I will never obligate you to like my family. Hate them if that suits you; especially if they're assholes to you. I won't ask you to pick between me and your family, but if you aim to keep them in your life and I don't like them, I'm going to find someone else, this is fair to both of us, especially if you are idle if your family treats me worse than how I treat them. Why don't you just find someone who won't expect or need you to leave your family? Lotta fish in the sea. Find someone who is compatible with your needs, duh. "Changes her home" is kinda redundant if she's leaving her family. I don't understand why you would want to live with your family anyway. Three's a crowd for me. If you don't want to leave your family and you've found someone who wants you to, find someone else to marry. If by home, keep it if you own, right. "Moves in with you." That sounds like a funny, and by funny I mean twisted way of saying "the two of you move in together." "Builds a home with you." Well, you're not going to build a home with the neighbors, are you? Or, better yet, you're not gonna build your own home with hookers and blackjack, are you? Who else are you gonna build a home with? The teenage mutant ninja turtles! "Bears children for you." That's insulting. "Sorry kids, I didn't have kids because I wanted kids, I had kids because your father said he wanted them. I wanted to abort you, lolz." Ha! If you don't want kids, don't marry some who does. That's not fair to them to compromise and never have kids, and it wouldn't be fair for you to compromise and have kids when you don't. I would not be happy with this sort of marriage: a marriage of compromising one party's happiness for the other. It is literally asking someone to sacrifice some of their happiness for you. It would never sit well with me. There are obviously some compromises I would be OK with, but not others. "Even the kids get his name." Awesome! Batkids! No, seriously, fuck you that's stupid. Keep your name and pass it on to your kids if it's important to you. Come to an arrangement. Names don't matter to the rest of society. To anyone who argues, poke'em in the eye! "Till the day she dies, everything she does benefits you..." Everything? Literally? You know the rule about absolutes, right? This is very debatable. In fact, I wouldn't respect a man who would ask or expect his wife to only/mostly/etc. do what is beneficial for him and to, as implied by this statement, never(?) do anything that is beneficial for her or at least prioritize his needs above hers, nor would I respect a woman who would think or do just that. "...so who is doing who the favor?" Are you being ironic or hypocritical? I can't tell. "Dear men, appreciate your woman." I think you speak from your own perspective, and it sounds like you know a lot of shitty people who, like children, the spiritually inept, and the emotionally impotent, actually need to be reminded to appreciate their own loved ones. This society makes me angry.

This is basically what came to mind immediately, and I typed it out with mad typing speeds of up to 28 wpm. Let me repeat, all of it came to mind immediately.

Facebook is Bullshit (part 1?)

I'm getting tired of Facebook. You'd never guess how many people you call friend would have the most asinine interests including Spirit Science. Someone shared an article from Spirit Science which you can read here, but I wouldn't recommend it: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/why-steve-jobs-didnt-let-his-kids-use-ipads-and-why-you-shouldnt-either/. The Article is about how you shouldn't let your kids use a smart phone or ipad or whatever because it'll harm their psychological growth and hurt their creativity without explaining how they know this.

First off, Spirit Science guy is a hippie, so I can't say whether or not he's biased towards nature and has some kind of aversion to kids not learning to respect mother nature by massaging her feet and asking about her cats.

Second, his assertion that you can have too much tech/that tech is unhealthy is made without any scientific substantiation.* I don't care if Steve Jobs thought it was dangerous or not, Steve Jobs is not an expert in child developmental psychology or neuroscience. This is called an appeal to authority fallacy. They're very easy to make, watch. The CEO of McDonalds doesn't eat rare hamburg. He says it's bad for you. See what I mean? I just made that up.
*Obviously, use a little moderation.

Third, he claims that technology "has been known to cause" and lists some bad things. I take issue with the way he says that. "Technology has been known to cause..." That's an odd way to say "technology causes..." Is he actually making the claim that laptops cause your writing skills to deteriorate and makes you an impatient person with a short fuse, a.k.a. a stupid asshole? That's a hell of a claim. I'm glad he included all those citations to credible sources so we know he's not making stuff up.

He also says technology is linked to obesity, ADHD, and brain tumors. How are they "linked?" With a metal chain? What does that even mean? You're just raising the stakes now. There's plenty of obese people who didn't get that way playing Runescape for 6 hours a day. My brother and I were diagnosed with ADHD before we got our first computer, and **brain tumors from cell phones is an irrelevant concern because now everyone just texts.
**Note the sarcasm.

Finally, let me say this: don't get all your parenting advice from one source and be careful who you listen to. I did not play outside when I was a kid. I lamented it. I played with legos and drew all day when I wasn't watching TV. My writing skills only improved when I began reading for fun in high school, not from writing. I would like to beg you parents: Do not ever bank on your kids "thanking you for it later." Spirit Science Guy says that thay'll "absolutely" thank you for it later. Watch out for people using absolutes unless they're psychic. Especially if they're claiming to be psychic. OK, if they're from the future, it's always safe to believe them.

Also, you'll most likely impede your child's ability to socialize by keeping them from experiencing the same things that the rest of their peers are experiencing. How else will your child be able to make friends with people if they can't relate to them because they don't get to watch the same shows or movies, listen to the same music, play the same games, etc. I had a lonely 5th grade year because I didn't have a Gameboy to play Pokemon.