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| They're serious about that underboob. |
Dear E, (I'm sorry, but I'm about to be a big ass to you)
What douchbag thinks they're doing someone a favor by marrying them? Sounds like someone who doesn't understand marriage. What else is wrong with this fallacious statement? Changing your name is traditional, not mandatory. I don't know about you, but I plan on changing my name to Batman when I get married. Don't take my name unless you really think it's pretty. "Leaves her family..." Let's put it this way, when you marry me, you do not marry my friends and family, you're marrying me! I will never obligate you to like my family. Hate them if that suits you; especially if they're assholes to you. I won't ask you to pick between me and your family, but if you aim to keep them in your life and I don't like them, I'm going to find someone else, this is fair to both of us, especially if you are idle if your family treats me worse than how I treat them. Why don't you just find someone who won't expect or need you to leave your family? Lotta fish in the sea. Find someone who is compatible with your needs, duh. "Changes her home" is kinda redundant if she's leaving her family. I don't understand why you would want to live with your family anyway. Three's a crowd for me. If you don't want to leave your family and you've found someone who wants you to, find someone else to marry. If by home, keep it if you own, right. "Moves in with you." That sounds like a funny, and by funny I mean twisted way of saying "the two of you move in together." "Builds a home with you." Well, you're not going to build a home with the neighbors, are you? Or, better yet, you're not gonna build your own home with hookers and blackjack, are you? Who else are you gonna build a home with? The teenage mutant ninja turtles! "Bears children for you." That's insulting. "Sorry kids, I didn't have kids because I wanted kids, I had kids because your father said he wanted them. I wanted to abort you, lolz." Ha! If you don't want kids, don't marry some who does. That's not fair to them to compromise and never have kids, and it wouldn't be fair for you to compromise and have kids when you don't. I would not be happy with this sort of marriage: a marriage of compromising one party's happiness for the other. It is literally asking someone to sacrifice some of their happiness for you. It would never sit well with me. There are obviously some compromises I would be OK with, but not others. "Even the kids get his name." Awesome! Batkids! No, seriously, fuck you that's stupid. Keep your name and pass it on to your kids if it's important to you. Come to an arrangement. Names don't matter to the rest of society. To anyone who argues, poke'em in the eye! "Till the day she dies, everything she does benefits you..." Everything? Literally? You know the rule about absolutes, right? This is very debatable. In fact, I wouldn't respect a man who would ask or expect his wife to only/mostly/etc. do what is beneficial for him and to, as implied by this statement, never(?) do anything that is beneficial for her or at least prioritize his needs above hers, nor would I respect a woman who would think or do just that. "...so who is doing who the favor?" Are you being ironic or hypocritical? I can't tell. "Dear men, appreciate your woman." I think you speak from your own perspective, and it sounds like you know a lot of shitty people who, like children, the spiritually inept, and the emotionally impotent, actually need to be reminded to appreciate their own loved ones. This society makes me angry.
This is basically what came to mind immediately, and I typed it out with mad typing speeds of up to 28 wpm. Let me repeat, all of it came to mind immediately.
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