Sunday, March 29, 2026

Managing Expectations in TTRPGs - Discussing What We Do and Don't Like

When it comes to TTRPGs like D&D and Pathfinder (pronounced pat-h-fin-der), I think the trickiest part is managing expectations. That is to say that I have had a lot of personal experience with trying to run one kind of game, and players trying to play another kind of game, or vice versa if I'm a player. For me, it's very unsatisfying to tell players, "I'm running a game for heroic characters", and someone still brings a joke character, and someone else still brings a character of neutral alignment and needs some extra motivation to do anything. Ugh.

This article is my attempt to work out a way to manage these expectations. The first thing is to identify the motives, experiences, interests and influences of the participants. Some people's only exposure to fantasy might be Adventure Time. You might think I'm making that up, but I'm not! I have played with that guy. He didn't know any of the classic fantasy conventions and he played like it.

We're going to start with some useful vocabulary. Ask and discuss these questions:
  • Influences or Interests: What movies, books, comics, video games, tv, etc. have you seen? that you like? What do you like about them?
  • Disinterests: What do you dislike about TTRPGs, genres, literary conventions, etc. Some people are open to anything, some people aren't! For people with discerning tastes, this is as important.
  • Experiences: Previous experiences with TTRPG(s). What did you like about them, what did you not like? Players may have learned some things that you would like them to unlearn.
  • Motives: Why are you interested in TTRPGs? What about this hobby is fun for you? What makes you want to play a TTRPG?

My Interests: My favorite work of Fantasy might just be Kentaro Miura's Berserk. Let's discuss why. The art is badass. The dark themes are interesting. The scenarios are interesting. There's a sort of cosmic horror to it. Guts is just this regular guy who manages to become above average by sheer effort and a will to survive. He has an extraordinary tenacity for survival in the face of overwhelming odds. His opponents are often otherworldly and nightmarish in power and scale but they have such simple motives like eating people or avoiding boredom. He even earns their respect with his will and fortitude. What else? It's otherwise a low-magic, earth-like setting. The horror elements almost replace the fantastic elements, and I think that's really cool!

I also like Vampire Hunter D for some similar reasons, and because I think it's stylish as hell. In this setting, Vampires became the rulers of the earth. To the extent that the word noble became synonymous with vampire and few people use the word vampire. Humans are cattle. That's pretty dark. The titular character is D, and he's a Dhampir. That means he is a half human half vampire. Because of this, he's rejected by both humans and vampires. He's also secretly the most badass character in the setting. The question is what does he want and why? It seems to me that the author intends to leave these things up to interpretation or inference, but this is not a character with ordinary motivations.

Tim Burton's Sleep Hallow was pretty fucking stylish too. In this movie, everyone's dressed in a period era outfit, there's only one monster and he's an absolute badass, no one understands the monster or magic, and the fantastic elements are not casually accepted by anyone. They're all as wild as if you went out for a walk and met an extra-terrestrial.

Generally, low fantasy settings or earth-like settings where the supernatural or extraordinary are rare and maybe even intrusive upon the ordinary world are interesting. Monsters are monsters! Magic is dangerous or even forbidden. The elements of the fantasy that make fantasy unique are kept low so that they when they are used, they have a greater effect, like a guy who never says curse words finally dropping an f-bomb. I also like the low fantasy, dark fantasy Campaign Diaries of Professor DM on the Dungeon Craft YouTube channel!

Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean is cool for similar reasons. The fantastic elements are presented as curses, and they present the supernatural as dangerous and mysterious. If you had to assign all the characters in that move a D&D class, they would either be fighters or thieves (rogues). 

My Disinterests: You might think I don't actually like fantasy, and there might be something to that, but I don't like pure horror and I'm not into the horror TTRPGs because in those you play as a survivor or a victim. I do want to be a hero. Fantasy can be pretty @#$%^ nerdy. The way nerds use wizards, vampires, demons, and lycanthropes can be really cringy because they make it mundane and ordinary. Monsters aren't monsters anymore, they're just like cat people or something. And then there's people who think it's racist to kill monsters and take their stuff, and those people are just detrimental to the hobby. I don't like elves, dwarves, hobbits, and some of the other fantastic races that have become standard like Tieflings, half-orcs, and dragonborn (dragon people). These things make me feel like I'm watching the Muppets. I don't like that magic is common and ordinary, like a skill or an art that people can just pick up and learn. What's so special about magic if everyone can do it?

My Experiences: I have mostly played 5e D&D. It's pretty lame. There's furries. There's scalies. Goblins, bugbears, and other monsters are humanoids or goblinoids, and so they're treated like an exotic people. I don't like that. Demons from the Christian hell are not people. Even goblins should be monstrous. D&D makes me feel like I'm Eddie Valiant in Who Framed Roger Rabit. Tonally, it's lame. Players play these goofy characters, or they make characters who are kind of goofy conceptually but are intended to be played serious. It makes it difficult for me to care. I don't care about non-humans, and I don't care to humanize the non-humans. I'm hoping for something more serious, but this can't help but feel cartoonish. Besides that, the player characters get pretty powerful, and after a while they play like they know they are. Powerful player characters are antithetical to horror. I have played mostly in Faerun and Eberron, and slightly in Draconlance, Spelljammer, the Underdark, and Greyhawk; but I think 5e modernized it all made it all lame. It's casual and accessible and safe. Even the modern Ravenloft setting is kind of watered down and plebian. I also hate chaotic and evil player characters! They're dicks and they spoil someone's fun. I want PCs who can play as a damn team. And I don't want to be a villainous character, and I don't want to be a character who would particularly tolerate villainous companions or allies. But when you play D&D, this game permits evil and chaotic player characters, and so do most GMs, so I have to put up with it.

Motives: I have lost interest in tv, movies, comics, anime, and books because I think it used to be good, now it's not; but I still want to indulge in some narrative entertainment. I want an outlet for creativity, I want to socialize, and I want to play a game!

I think this was a particularly interesting exercise and I recommend you all do the same.

Here's what I learned about myself: I am not down for any game.
I want an earth-like or low fantasy, human-centric setting where magic and monsters are rare and dangerous. The line between fantasy and horror is blurred. Monsters are not people, they are monsters, and they are opposed to humanity. Magic-users are rare, maybe even feared and hated. Stakes are low, not epic. Characters are generally relatable; scenarios are generally plausible; environments are generally realistic. Your character is an ordinary or above average person. You are not great, but you can earn greatness. You have a chance to become a hero, and I want you to aspire to be, but if you become a villain, I take your PC and make them an NPC in my setting, and they become the property of the me, the GM. Don't do anything you wouldn't do in real life. Play your character like you care what happens to them. This is low, dark fantasy.

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