Nothing makes me feel white guilt, period, end of story, except for Star Bucks. It's walking out of a needlessly fancy building (expensive bullshit facade with bullshit trendy, pretentious atmosphere and bad music especially during the winter holiday season) with an overpriced, over-sized snack-treat which I didn't earn that morning (or week/month/year!) that I don't share with anyone while children are staving in the cold with disease, witnessing death, sadness and ruin most of the world over. That to me is more indecent than an accidental nipple or doing an overtly sexual dance at a legal age of ones own free will. Starbucks fuels my misanthropy. An entire species of asshats so woefully selfish that Starbucks (as well as the Superbowl and denying equality to people based on sexual orientation) take precedence in their minds before helping the less fortunate and making the world a better place. I wonder how many of the great minds of our time do their best work inside of a Starbucks! Oh, how I mope, and such a delight is my impotence.
I think the average drink at Starbucks is 3 to 5 dollars and some drinks have as many (empty) calories as a whole meal. Starbucks has taken the commodity of the coffee bean and turned it into an empire on which you could base dystopian fiction. Sure, less romantic than a resource like gold or coal, and that's what makes it so much darker! I think its sad, at the time of this writing, that dystopia is not a word recognized by blogger, but it knows that Starbucks is a proper noun! Kleptocracy.
Please bring back $0.99 coffee, which I still think is overpriced for roasted bean juice and milk. You know what I do for coffee? I buy a big container of dehydrated coffee for ~$4 two or three times a year and add silk. It get's old and there is a quality to it which I can't put my finger on that I don't quite like, but to me, it isn't that much worse than the crap I get from Starbucks; This is where some of the guilt comes from - it's fancy coffee that is only slightly better than my coffee. I suppose my palette is not refined enough to appreciate the Starbucks quality. So what? That's Starbucks' problem.
Also, nice topless mermaid. Ass.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
In Need of a Male Opinion?
Society is complicated. A particular conflict of mine is that I'm under the (miss?)conception that women really, really appreciate compliments; however, I almost never compliment anyone, ever, even if it'd be really easy because I don't know what is appropriate to say as well as how to say it and at what point in any type of relationship does what become acceptable or obsolete. For instance, when can you reassure a young woman that she, in spite of having a fat day when she didn't have enough time to do her hair and makeup and when a few extra errands left her feeling less than fresh, that she shouldn't worry, i.e., is still sexy or attractive, without giving her the idea that you are a creep and/or interested in dating? Also, if I tell a woman she looks good today, does that imply that she looks ugly on other days or that by good I mean GOOOOD wink wink nudge nudge?
Sometimes, I have heard women chatting about how they feel about themselves and it felt like I could make someones day by telling her she looks good. Too bad I don't know how. Does that mean I have weird social disorders because I actually fear repercussions for complimenting people?! I mean, I know I'd be flattered if someone told me I look good; and in some ways, the less I know them the more it might mean because some friends don't see our flaws like we do and we mostly dismiss those friends because we know a. they're just looking out for out emotional well being and b. how qualified is our average friend to protect our emotional well-being?
If I just walk up to a sad looking woman on the street and offer her a pretty flower and a reassuring smile that says "life's a bitch, hang in there, you can do it!" all in an attempt to brighten her day and nothing else, am I doing a random act of kindness or am I scaring the shit out of her?! Will she slap me and begin venting all her pent up frustrations as a member of a discriminated social group or become infatuated with me even though oops I didn't mean it like that. I'm under the impression that all women just have the worst suspicions of men these days. Thanks for that irrational and crippling fear, modern feminism! You have surely reduced the reproduction of our species to rapist and stupid people.
Also, I never try to do or say anything assuring to men either because it would be sexist if I chose to make small differences in peoples days based on gender. Once again, thank you modern feminism. I could be the guy making big fucking differences with little things in this world if I weren't so scared of offending women or women thinking I'm a predator or a sexist. I can picture older, more experienced people laughing, finding my dilemma humorously charming. Fuck you, out with the advice, already! And help me do my taxes! Asses!
You know what? I'm not sure the central idea is obvious enough. I usually feel that people, dumb though they may be, are still smart enough to deduce my point or points when I write in a way that tries to credit their intelligence while also trying to appeal to their sense of humor, and I do like to think of my ramblings as something so smart that you are supposed to think about it, but this time I'm not sure. Fuck the essay format.
Sometimes, I have heard women chatting about how they feel about themselves and it felt like I could make someones day by telling her she looks good. Too bad I don't know how. Does that mean I have weird social disorders because I actually fear repercussions for complimenting people?! I mean, I know I'd be flattered if someone told me I look good; and in some ways, the less I know them the more it might mean because some friends don't see our flaws like we do and we mostly dismiss those friends because we know a. they're just looking out for out emotional well being and b. how qualified is our average friend to protect our emotional well-being?
If I just walk up to a sad looking woman on the street and offer her a pretty flower and a reassuring smile that says "life's a bitch, hang in there, you can do it!" all in an attempt to brighten her day and nothing else, am I doing a random act of kindness or am I scaring the shit out of her?! Will she slap me and begin venting all her pent up frustrations as a member of a discriminated social group or become infatuated with me even though oops I didn't mean it like that. I'm under the impression that all women just have the worst suspicions of men these days. Thanks for that irrational and crippling fear, modern feminism! You have surely reduced the reproduction of our species to rapist and stupid people.
Also, I never try to do or say anything assuring to men either because it would be sexist if I chose to make small differences in peoples days based on gender. Once again, thank you modern feminism. I could be the guy making big fucking differences with little things in this world if I weren't so scared of offending women or women thinking I'm a predator or a sexist. I can picture older, more experienced people laughing, finding my dilemma humorously charming. Fuck you, out with the advice, already! And help me do my taxes! Asses!
You know what? I'm not sure the central idea is obvious enough. I usually feel that people, dumb though they may be, are still smart enough to deduce my point or points when I write in a way that tries to credit their intelligence while also trying to appeal to their sense of humor, and I do like to think of my ramblings as something so smart that you are supposed to think about it, but this time I'm not sure. Fuck the essay format.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Product Review: Draino
It seems to me like Draino wants people to think it can clear ANY clog. It even says on the bottle "for tough clogs..." recommending you use a whole $8 bottle and wait for a whole hour! Does anyone else get that impression? Well, I've had 2 lame bathroom sinks for long enough, and Draino was mo' like lameo, so I visited Youtube for a 2 minute solution and bam! Apparently, clearing a bathroom sink is a 5 minute operation if you tie one arm behind your back, use both feet and no eyes. There was this gross, smelly mass of stuff that came out. Thanks for dissolving that, Draino. Draino Co., I'll be sending it your way in a box marked "you had one job." Bam.
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