I hate eating out. It's not fun, it's not nice, it's not pleasant. Actually, it's particularly unpleasant. To ask me to go out to eat is to ask me to endure mild discomfort and I'll resent you for that and feel bad about it.
I like to eat a certain way:
First, I like to hold my plate under my chin and shovel food into my mouth like an animal. I know manners. I have manners. My manners are actually very good. Manners are a burden. I like to eat at my own rate.
Second, I like to eat in comfortable clothing! In my home, I dress like I'm working out: shorts and a shirt. I don't want to wear my good clothes when I go out to eat. I don't want to worry about dirtying or ruining something and wearing my food in public. I also don't like the whole process of getting ready. I can wash up before I eat, but I don't want to shower and comb my fucking hair too! This logic is absurd: Wear a belt to eat.
Third, I don't care to wear shoes or eat at a table in a chair. All three of these things keep me from sitting in position I find comfortable. I like to sit in a half-lotus position (google it!). Sometimes I like to lay on my side to eat.
Fourth, close quarters, face-to-face is awkward for me, but even more awkward than that is forcing conversation. I am an introvert, but I can be an amazing conversationalist when I have something to talk about with someone I want to talk to. I am witty, funny, even charming. I don't like forcing conversation. That's when I am slow, dull, and even stupid. In addition, an environment where I have to be careful of what I say or how I say it hinders me.
Fifth, I hate being waited on. I would much rather get a refill myself than interact with a servant. I also feel like I'm troubling the servant and it makes me feel like an asshole. It just does. It doesn't matter if that's their job or that I ALWAYS TIP.
Sixth, I like to do stuff while I eat. This might be gaming, writing, watching TV (TV I like!), listening to music, etc.
A hate the amount of time involved in eating out too.
First, you have to get ready. I already addressed this. Getting ready takes too long, and I'm just going to undo it as soon as I get back!
Second, you have to drive somewhere, or worse, walk! You'll also have to drive back. Driving is sort of a necessary part of life, but that doesn't mean I want additional driving. I get all my food at the grocery store in one or two trips a week and I cook it. (More on this later.)
Third, waiting for a table. This of course applies to specific places. Even if you have a reservation, you'll still wait. But if you don't have a reservation, you'll have to make one and wait 30 minutes to an hour.
Fourth, waiting on your food. When I was a kid I would color or play with the salt and pepper shakers. Now I have to polite and considerate while I'm growing ever more hungry!
Money
Its always expensive. There is a dollar amount I'm happy to put on a meal. I don't like paying $10-$15 for a plate of food. Fucking shit that's ballsy. You got nerve, restaurant industry! Call me cheap if you want. If you think I'm cheap and you don't like it, don't go out with me.
You know what else? If there's any stimuli in the environment I one would ordinarily object to, such as obnoxious people or a crying child, that actually doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother other people. If I'm eating out, I'm probably already having a bad time. Screaming children, gross eating noises, or constant obnoxious laughter are actually an improvement.
Cooking Myself
I like to be able to say "I can cook." This makes women think, "that's hot." I know this for a fact. Look it up. I also like improving my ability as a cook. I see it as a practical and valuable life skill. I like it when a meal comes together successfully. It makes me feel good. I also have more control over what I eat. That's healthy. It's also more affordable. Making trips to restaurants all the time is more gas and mileage on my car.
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