"What do you think about my dick?"
Here's a list of things I hope I won't do or go through or have happen to me, ever.
Picnics
Jury Duty
Prison Sentence
Dancing
Going Blind
Road Trip
Head Trauma
Karaoke
Camping
Hiking
Becoming a cripple
Sky Diving
Getting Stabbed
Bungee Jumping
Rock climbing
Scuba Diving
Losing a finger or body part
Skiing
Sailing
Going to the Beach
Burned Alive
Attending a Wedding
get smooshed under a car
Baby Shower
Birthdays
Raped
Coming of Age events
Sporting Event
Hitchhiking
Fishing
Hunting
Getting Shot
That's right, picnics, jury duty, and prison are on the same list! Notice I did not add getting struck by lightning! I really do think "what do you think about my dick?" is an elegant response in spite of the vulgarity because of how effectively and efficiently it communicates everything I think and feel about the matter. The only other adaquette response I can think of is flipping the bird.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Welcome to the N.H.K. Review
I watched the anime in japanese with english subs several years ago and I really liked it, but I wasn't able to appreciate it back then. Why? Someone had prepared me for a comedy, so I expected a comedy. This series is even classified as a comedy. It's not a comedy. NHK is dark. Real dark. It's a story about a bunch of very sad, tragic people. The manga is even darker. How dark? There are several suicide scares all throughout. By the end, the suicide scares become dramatic for different reasons than someone no longer wants to live because life sucks, instead the suicide scares become dramatic because suicide is used as emotional manipulation by main characters against other main characters.
I recently watched the anime again, this time in english and I was prepared for a tragedy this time. When I finished, I thought it was brilliant, so I had to read the manga. Here's the thing: The anime stops about halfway through the manga and so it makes up an ending. It makes up a lot of other stuff too; It does it very well, but it doesn't prepare you for the manga.
In the anime, it seems that each character has their own emotional baggage, and it seems pretty minor, actually. In the manga, it seems that each character has a themed fucked-up-ness. I think every character has a themed psychology problem like batman villains. The main character, Sato, is an irresponsible, habitual liar with various phobias, anxieties, and delusions who by all rights should be homeless by now. Misaki is not some cute girl with problems due to a hard past anymore, actually, she's a rich girl with a serious psychological disorder who wants to make Sato her emotional prisoner. Even early on this character makes you nervous. Yamazaki is a misogynist and pedophile. I think the two problems could be related? Hinata has depression and is a druggie. There's something else wrong with her too.
I started speed reading from chapter 30 on, so maybe I missed some stuff, but I don't think the ending made sense. Granted, the ending doesn't need to make sense because it's a story about a bunch of crazy people, so whatever. At the very least, the manga's ending wasn't satisfying. It had an open ending. I hate those. It showed us promise of the characters all getting their shit together and that everything would work out like we all hope, basically it stopped at an otherwise arbitrary point. I kept reading because I wanted to see something. It's not enough that you hint that It would happen and say the end. Actually, you could even see that there's room for things to fall apart.
Anyway, so whoever decided that this was a comedy is an idiot and a liar. Either that, or they're an abuse victim who never learned better. But, because the material is so dark, then obviously you have to insert humor wherever you can or else no one could stomach it. It'd be too depressing. I recommend the anime though. I think it has appeal to people who don't even like anime because it is a good story and it's not a typical anime. It's got a very fun style and direction. Just don't prepare people for a comedy when you recommend it to them. It's to dark to be a comedy.
I recently watched the anime again, this time in english and I was prepared for a tragedy this time. When I finished, I thought it was brilliant, so I had to read the manga. Here's the thing: The anime stops about halfway through the manga and so it makes up an ending. It makes up a lot of other stuff too; It does it very well, but it doesn't prepare you for the manga.
In the anime, it seems that each character has their own emotional baggage, and it seems pretty minor, actually. In the manga, it seems that each character has a themed fucked-up-ness. I think every character has a themed psychology problem like batman villains. The main character, Sato, is an irresponsible, habitual liar with various phobias, anxieties, and delusions who by all rights should be homeless by now. Misaki is not some cute girl with problems due to a hard past anymore, actually, she's a rich girl with a serious psychological disorder who wants to make Sato her emotional prisoner. Even early on this character makes you nervous. Yamazaki is a misogynist and pedophile. I think the two problems could be related? Hinata has depression and is a druggie. There's something else wrong with her too.
I started speed reading from chapter 30 on, so maybe I missed some stuff, but I don't think the ending made sense. Granted, the ending doesn't need to make sense because it's a story about a bunch of crazy people, so whatever. At the very least, the manga's ending wasn't satisfying. It had an open ending. I hate those. It showed us promise of the characters all getting their shit together and that everything would work out like we all hope, basically it stopped at an otherwise arbitrary point. I kept reading because I wanted to see something. It's not enough that you hint that It would happen and say the end. Actually, you could even see that there's room for things to fall apart.
Anyway, so whoever decided that this was a comedy is an idiot and a liar. Either that, or they're an abuse victim who never learned better. But, because the material is so dark, then obviously you have to insert humor wherever you can or else no one could stomach it. It'd be too depressing. I recommend the anime though. I think it has appeal to people who don't even like anime because it is a good story and it's not a typical anime. It's got a very fun style and direction. Just don't prepare people for a comedy when you recommend it to them. It's to dark to be a comedy.
5 Stages of Grief from Immaturity to Maturity
"When I was a kid..." Words I often think to myself whenever a situation becomes too difficult or awkward. When I was a kid, that is to say, when I was innocent, the world was an great place. When I reached the age of reason, I became unhappy with the world which I was beginning to question, and the time in between the age of innocence and the age of reason is forgotten.
1. Denial
I haven't forgotten the first time I experienced anxiety. It was at the start of puberty. I just wished it would go away. For several years, I no longer enjoyed anything. I felt sick in my stomach and I just wanted to sleep all the time. My mom told me I needed to distract myself and the pain wouldn't bother me, even go away. Her advice worked, but those commercials asking for money for starving kids in poor countries always killed me. Also, I think this is when I started getting fat.
2. Anger
I haven't forgotten the angst of my teen years either. I used to hate my peers because they were so stupid to me. I was even bitter for about 6 months in my senior year of high school. I couldn't stand the routine, the work, and I hated the attitude people had for it. A particular example of the attitude I mean is when teachers promise "This project will be fun." I'd think, "go fuck yourself."
3. Bargaining
As an atheist, I don't think I ever bargained for anything, but I'm sure I wasted a lot of time hoping for good things happen on their own a lot.
4. Depression
I remember turning 19 or 20 and suddenly being hit with the realization that I was an adult now. I was doing my thing when suddenly I felt old! Sometime when I was 21 I had another realization that I was completely free of my angst and I had become a different person since high school. I took some solace.
Finally, I had a health scare. I went to the emergency room 3 times when I was 22 for non-existent heart or breathing problems and I'm not a hypochondriac. Anxiety from stress caused me to have high blood pressure and shortness of breath that seemed to persist for at least 8 months. My medical doctor probably couldn't tell me outright, and it retrospect I think I can see that he was hinting at it strongly, but I had some stress that I wasn't aware of.
5. Acceptance
I finally realized that my species has a sense of entitlement. We think we're fucking special. I heard a goth perspective that anger is the emotion of rejection but sadness is the emotion of acceptance. I was at times indignant about life's indifference, but now I am happy with it; I no longer believe humanity is fucking special.
Anyway, I think all people experience the 5 stages of grief over the loss of their innocence. Its different for everyone and some people probably live full lives without ever getting to stage 5, trying to hold onto that innocence.
1. Denial
I haven't forgotten the first time I experienced anxiety. It was at the start of puberty. I just wished it would go away. For several years, I no longer enjoyed anything. I felt sick in my stomach and I just wanted to sleep all the time. My mom told me I needed to distract myself and the pain wouldn't bother me, even go away. Her advice worked, but those commercials asking for money for starving kids in poor countries always killed me. Also, I think this is when I started getting fat.
2. Anger
I haven't forgotten the angst of my teen years either. I used to hate my peers because they were so stupid to me. I was even bitter for about 6 months in my senior year of high school. I couldn't stand the routine, the work, and I hated the attitude people had for it. A particular example of the attitude I mean is when teachers promise "This project will be fun." I'd think, "go fuck yourself."
3. Bargaining
As an atheist, I don't think I ever bargained for anything, but I'm sure I wasted a lot of time hoping for good things happen on their own a lot.
4. Depression
I remember turning 19 or 20 and suddenly being hit with the realization that I was an adult now. I was doing my thing when suddenly I felt old! Sometime when I was 21 I had another realization that I was completely free of my angst and I had become a different person since high school. I took some solace.
Finally, I had a health scare. I went to the emergency room 3 times when I was 22 for non-existent heart or breathing problems and I'm not a hypochondriac. Anxiety from stress caused me to have high blood pressure and shortness of breath that seemed to persist for at least 8 months. My medical doctor probably couldn't tell me outright, and it retrospect I think I can see that he was hinting at it strongly, but I had some stress that I wasn't aware of.
5. Acceptance
I finally realized that my species has a sense of entitlement. We think we're fucking special. I heard a goth perspective that anger is the emotion of rejection but sadness is the emotion of acceptance. I was at times indignant about life's indifference, but now I am happy with it; I no longer believe humanity is fucking special.
Anyway, I think all people experience the 5 stages of grief over the loss of their innocence. Its different for everyone and some people probably live full lives without ever getting to stage 5, trying to hold onto that innocence.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
King of America 3: Solar Power and Pot!
King of America 3
As King of America, I see oil dependency as a shameful thing and I plan to relieve it by making electricity so dirt cheap that the combustion engine goes out of style like sex with rocks! Obviously, America has no money to put into anything, so I'll hire a blind butcher with nuclear chainsaws for hands to gut our bloated, runaway military budget for some scratch. Then I would create programs and grants to incentivize people to get solar panels installed on their homes and advertise these programs at every DMV because post offices are as deserted as a mofo. I'd even slowly mandate the use of solar panels in homes and business, with consideration for the owner's financial needs. In time, solar panels will pay for themselves and we will begin generating revenue from the fucking sky. Thank you, sky!
With enough solar panels, people will have no electric bills! They'll have more money to spend. For some people, that's discretionary income, for others it isn't! The cost of living will go down! The economy will improve. Over time we'll also be doing a lot less importing. We can even sell electricity to other countries! At the very least, we should turn Florida into a giant solar power plant (get it? 'cause it's the sunshine state?). California (and a few other states resembling a desert) is very sunny, so let's cover a few counties with solar panels, why not? With the decreased air population, there will be even more sun, I think. That global warming thing will be 10 years away from clearing up!
I'll also decriminalize and regulate pot! Pot means millions in tax revenue and less crime! Also, we won't be wasting money on some bullshit drug war that ultimately is bullshit. Did I mention the bullshit of it all? It's bullshit. Bullshit. I'd incentivize pot farms too! Hemp clothes and paper products will come back! You know marijuana is a micacle plant, right? I'd hire scientists to make some panacea and elixir. I'll call it Panacelixir. Watch me. Hippies win, bitch.
As King of America, I see oil dependency as a shameful thing and I plan to relieve it by making electricity so dirt cheap that the combustion engine goes out of style like sex with rocks! Obviously, America has no money to put into anything, so I'll hire a blind butcher with nuclear chainsaws for hands to gut our bloated, runaway military budget for some scratch. Then I would create programs and grants to incentivize people to get solar panels installed on their homes and advertise these programs at every DMV because post offices are as deserted as a mofo. I'd even slowly mandate the use of solar panels in homes and business, with consideration for the owner's financial needs. In time, solar panels will pay for themselves and we will begin generating revenue from the fucking sky. Thank you, sky!
With enough solar panels, people will have no electric bills! They'll have more money to spend. For some people, that's discretionary income, for others it isn't! The cost of living will go down! The economy will improve. Over time we'll also be doing a lot less importing. We can even sell electricity to other countries! At the very least, we should turn Florida into a giant solar power plant (get it? 'cause it's the sunshine state?). California (and a few other states resembling a desert) is very sunny, so let's cover a few counties with solar panels, why not? With the decreased air population, there will be even more sun, I think. That global warming thing will be 10 years away from clearing up!
I'll also decriminalize and regulate pot! Pot means millions in tax revenue and less crime! Also, we won't be wasting money on some bullshit drug war that ultimately is bullshit. Did I mention the bullshit of it all? It's bullshit. Bullshit. I'd incentivize pot farms too! Hemp clothes and paper products will come back! You know marijuana is a micacle plant, right? I'd hire scientists to make some panacea and elixir. I'll call it Panacelixir. Watch me. Hippies win, bitch.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Korra Book Two Review
Things Wrong with Korra S2 Finale:
It's the President of Republic City's Fault
Remember when Korra told this asshole that Unaloc is an evil megalomaniac who used his armed forces to invade and occupy a peaceful country because he wanted to unite them and the president said "not my problem" like that asshole from Spider-Man? I know from watching the first series that your world has the concept of despotism, so why didn't you do anything? You didn't even send a message telling him not to be a cruel asshole.
Remember when Korra tried to seal the portal? It came down to a matter of seconds and she failed! If that moron president put the world first and his city second, Korra might have had another minute and that would be that! The guy didn't give her shit, even when fucking Tenzin showed up! as far as we know, the guy didn't even give her a loaf of day old bread! What a cock.
No, wait, it's Korra's Fault.
Why is it that the only world leader that she chooses to rely on is the one trick horse of an asshole President of Republic City? Isn't there a powerful Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation still around? Is this asshole really in charge of the fucking planet? 70 years out of the medieval period and you've already got a single fucking world leader? I call bullshit! Impeach this motherfucker! There should really be some clauses that says it's not treason to stab el presidente in the face if said dipsit leader is a negligent, lethargic skid mark! Did Aang really envision a future of bureaucratic inaction and the suffering of innocence? Where's your avatar now!
It's all Tenzin's Fault
Right before the final fight with the big bad started, you benched your best guy? Why!? If Tenzin were backing up Korra when she fought Unaloc, shit wouldn't have gotten real! I'm sorry about your kid, but the whole world is about to be rocked by 10,000 years of fucking darkness, dude! Pull your head out of your ass. The responsible thing as Aang's son and the hope for the future of all air benders would be to cut your loses and insure that there will be a place for your air benders. I think it sucks that the guy is in his 40s or something and he's still burdened with daddy issues. Really? And this guy calls himself a spiritual leader?
No, wait. It's Aang's Fault
I have a hard time believing that Aang could turn out to be such a bad dad. It makes me think of that movie Hook where Peter Pan grows up and becomes a lawyer. You'd think someone like Aang, who, at the age or 11 or 12, was presented as one of the most compassionate people on the planet, as opposed to someone who is prone to obsession, would have some idea about how to raise a family? Think about the kid who escorted two feuding families through a dangerous canyon of wild, man-eating animals and made them forgive each other? He also forgave General Zhao for killing the fucking moon. Not even Iroh did that! Does that sound like the guy who would grow up into a father who showed favoritism and imposed his expectations on his kids so hardcore that they carried that baggage into their middle age and grew up to be losers with poor self-esteem? "He was too busy trying to build a city and save the world," and etc. was the excuse. Really? And Katara was so ineffectual as a mother that she couldn't rein in her kids' dad or pick up the slack? Katara is the girl who inspired a bunch of spirit-crushed earth bender prisoners to rebel after 10 years against some douchebag oppressor of douchebaginess and taught the value of sexual equality to a an entire culture with one short visit.
No! It's the Northern Water Tribe's Fault!
How come every villain so far is some waterbending asshole of the northern water tribe? With a brother. Last series, the fire nation was full of assholes. Now, it's the northern water tribe's turn to be a dick. I see what you're doing, Michael and Brian!
And how come everyone is a superior bender to Korra? Aang was pretty much nails in the first season, yet Korra is contantly outdone by PENCIL PUSHING OLD MEN AND OLD BALLED DESK JOCKYS! Seriously, the old men who run the country must work out hardcore! Have you seen Korra? Chick's BUFF as shit! No wonder the world politics is as such, all the world leaders spend 8 hours of the day training! They can't be bothered to think about the concequences of permitting hostile invasions and occupations, they gotta keep in shape so they can beat someone who by all rights should be 4 times more powerful! Also, how come most soldiers in the world seem to be less effective benders than athletes in their teens and elderly law makers? The pecking order would suggest that being old and having political power automatically makes you more powerful than the present demi-god.
That said, I enjoyed Korra season 2, unlike season 1. There were episodes I even loved. Fills me with hope for the next season and future series.
It's the President of Republic City's Fault
Remember when Korra told this asshole that Unaloc is an evil megalomaniac who used his armed forces to invade and occupy a peaceful country because he wanted to unite them and the president said "not my problem" like that asshole from Spider-Man? I know from watching the first series that your world has the concept of despotism, so why didn't you do anything? You didn't even send a message telling him not to be a cruel asshole.
Remember when Korra tried to seal the portal? It came down to a matter of seconds and she failed! If that moron president put the world first and his city second, Korra might have had another minute and that would be that! The guy didn't give her shit, even when fucking Tenzin showed up! as far as we know, the guy didn't even give her a loaf of day old bread! What a cock.
No, wait, it's Korra's Fault.
Why is it that the only world leader that she chooses to rely on is the one trick horse of an asshole President of Republic City? Isn't there a powerful Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation still around? Is this asshole really in charge of the fucking planet? 70 years out of the medieval period and you've already got a single fucking world leader? I call bullshit! Impeach this motherfucker! There should really be some clauses that says it's not treason to stab el presidente in the face if said dipsit leader is a negligent, lethargic skid mark! Did Aang really envision a future of bureaucratic inaction and the suffering of innocence? Where's your avatar now!
It's all Tenzin's Fault
Right before the final fight with the big bad started, you benched your best guy? Why!? If Tenzin were backing up Korra when she fought Unaloc, shit wouldn't have gotten real! I'm sorry about your kid, but the whole world is about to be rocked by 10,000 years of fucking darkness, dude! Pull your head out of your ass. The responsible thing as Aang's son and the hope for the future of all air benders would be to cut your loses and insure that there will be a place for your air benders. I think it sucks that the guy is in his 40s or something and he's still burdened with daddy issues. Really? And this guy calls himself a spiritual leader?
No, wait. It's Aang's Fault
I have a hard time believing that Aang could turn out to be such a bad dad. It makes me think of that movie Hook where Peter Pan grows up and becomes a lawyer. You'd think someone like Aang, who, at the age or 11 or 12, was presented as one of the most compassionate people on the planet, as opposed to someone who is prone to obsession, would have some idea about how to raise a family? Think about the kid who escorted two feuding families through a dangerous canyon of wild, man-eating animals and made them forgive each other? He also forgave General Zhao for killing the fucking moon. Not even Iroh did that! Does that sound like the guy who would grow up into a father who showed favoritism and imposed his expectations on his kids so hardcore that they carried that baggage into their middle age and grew up to be losers with poor self-esteem? "He was too busy trying to build a city and save the world," and etc. was the excuse. Really? And Katara was so ineffectual as a mother that she couldn't rein in her kids' dad or pick up the slack? Katara is the girl who inspired a bunch of spirit-crushed earth bender prisoners to rebel after 10 years against some douchebag oppressor of douchebaginess and taught the value of sexual equality to a an entire culture with one short visit.
No! It's the Northern Water Tribe's Fault!
How come every villain so far is some waterbending asshole of the northern water tribe? With a brother. Last series, the fire nation was full of assholes. Now, it's the northern water tribe's turn to be a dick. I see what you're doing, Michael and Brian!
And how come everyone is a superior bender to Korra? Aang was pretty much nails in the first season, yet Korra is contantly outdone by PENCIL PUSHING OLD MEN AND OLD BALLED DESK JOCKYS! Seriously, the old men who run the country must work out hardcore! Have you seen Korra? Chick's BUFF as shit! No wonder the world politics is as such, all the world leaders spend 8 hours of the day training! They can't be bothered to think about the concequences of permitting hostile invasions and occupations, they gotta keep in shape so they can beat someone who by all rights should be 4 times more powerful! Also, how come most soldiers in the world seem to be less effective benders than athletes in their teens and elderly law makers? The pecking order would suggest that being old and having political power automatically makes you more powerful than the present demi-god.
That said, I enjoyed Korra season 2, unlike season 1. There were episodes I even loved. Fills me with hope for the next season and future series.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
My Type of Woman
Here's a list of characteristics that I'm looking for in a woman
1) Atheist; Not even spiritual
2) Creative
3) Intelliegent
4) Doesn't want Kids
5) Doesn't like Dogs or exotic pets including reptiles, aviators, insects, fish, etc.
6) Likes Cats
7) Introvert
8) Doesn't Have a Life, Socially Inactive: Prefers Indoor, creative and intelligent Activities
9) Doesn't like Traditions or Observe Holidays
10) Likes the rain.
That would be it. Notice how I left out physical attributes? It's actually because I'm physically attracted to a very wide range of sizes, shapes, colors, etc. although I am partial to short hair. Also, see any obvious problems? This kind of woman is not likely to cross my path because she probably goes out as much as I do and she doesn't go far. I should look into online dating.
1) Atheist; Not even spiritual
2) Creative
3) Intelliegent
4) Doesn't want Kids
5) Doesn't like Dogs or exotic pets including reptiles, aviators, insects, fish, etc.
6) Likes Cats
7) Introvert
8) Doesn't Have a Life, Socially Inactive: Prefers Indoor, creative and intelligent Activities
9) Doesn't like Traditions or Observe Holidays
10) Likes the rain.
That would be it. Notice how I left out physical attributes? It's actually because I'm physically attracted to a very wide range of sizes, shapes, colors, etc. although I am partial to short hair. Also, see any obvious problems? This kind of woman is not likely to cross my path because she probably goes out as much as I do and she doesn't go far. I should look into online dating.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Mythbusters Sucks
I used to love Mythbusters. In about 2006 it became clear to me that the Mythbusters had completely run out of ideas. Then they asked for fan ideas. Blech. The myths became less and less interesting and the fan service booms became more and more redundant.
Why was Mythbusters a good show to begin with? Jamie and Adam. They have a classic serious guy/silly guy dynamic. They're genuinely interesting and fun people. Those other jerks, Kari, Tori, and Grant, have no chemistry. I call them "female audience, male audience, minorities." They were fun as the build team which included Scotty and they were less involved with the show. Back then, the group dynamic was two spunky girls and their guy play thing. I really like them individually, but I never liked them as Mythbusters.
I'd like them to move away from blowing shit up to debunking anything they wanted, from conspiracy theories to bogus science claims. Adam Savage said he'd like to do something like this.
Why was Mythbusters a good show to begin with? Jamie and Adam. They have a classic serious guy/silly guy dynamic. They're genuinely interesting and fun people. Those other jerks, Kari, Tori, and Grant, have no chemistry. I call them "female audience, male audience, minorities." They were fun as the build team which included Scotty and they were less involved with the show. Back then, the group dynamic was two spunky girls and their guy play thing. I really like them individually, but I never liked them as Mythbusters.
I'd like them to move away from blowing shit up to debunking anything they wanted, from conspiracy theories to bogus science claims. Adam Savage said he'd like to do something like this.
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