King of America 3
As King of America, I see oil dependency as a shameful thing and I plan to relieve it by making electricity so dirt cheap that the combustion engine goes out of style like sex with rocks! Obviously, America has no money to put into anything, so I'll hire a blind butcher with nuclear chainsaws for hands to gut our bloated, runaway military budget for some scratch. Then I would create programs and grants to incentivize people to get solar panels installed on their homes and advertise these programs at every DMV because post offices are as deserted as a mofo. I'd even slowly mandate the use of solar panels in homes and business, with consideration for the owner's financial needs. In time, solar panels will pay for themselves and we will begin generating revenue from the fucking sky. Thank you, sky!
With enough solar panels, people will have no electric bills! They'll have more money to spend. For some people, that's discretionary income, for others it isn't! The cost of living will go down! The economy will improve. Over time we'll also be doing a lot less importing. We can even sell electricity to other countries! At the very least, we should turn Florida into a giant solar power plant (get it? 'cause it's the sunshine state?). California (and a few other states resembling a desert) is very sunny, so let's cover a few counties with solar panels, why not? With the decreased air population, there will be even more sun, I think. That global warming thing will be 10 years away from clearing up!
I'll also decriminalize and regulate pot! Pot means millions in tax revenue and less crime! Also, we won't be wasting money on some bullshit drug war that ultimately is bullshit. Did I mention the bullshit of it all? It's bullshit. Bullshit. I'd incentivize pot farms too! Hemp clothes and paper products will come back! You know marijuana is a micacle plant, right? I'd hire scientists to make some panacea and elixir. I'll call it Panacelixir. Watch me. Hippies win, bitch.
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