Spirituality

I binge watched some stuff on youtube today about spirituality, chakras, crystals, meditation, ascension, what the ancients knew, etc. and I've concluded that there's some neat stuff for idea mining if you're a fantasy writer and people of the new age doody might really dig it.

And I've also decided that if we're gonna call this spirituality thing something, I nominate two terms. My personal favorite is magic which may or may not be appropriate, and my second is "the force". I had other ideas like rubbish, nonsense, balderdash, hogwash, hooey, gobbledygook, poppycock, horse feathers, bogus, twaddle, bunk, folly, craziness, lunacy, bullshit, bollocks, malarkey, ignorance, superstition, and irresponsibility. I'm also good with mana.

Self-Preservation vs Selfishness and the Absurdity of Altruism: Humans are Selfish

     I'm here to tell you that altruism is rubbish. Like the concept of perfection, altruism is an abstract and vaguely defined concept. Even narcissists give blood. Any behavior resembling altruism is in reality self-serving.
     So what's the difference between behavior that is intended for self-preservation and behavior that is selfish? Let's say you're an emperor and your word is law. You could rule like Ultra King Arthur who's rule is just and right or you could rule as Nega-Caligula with hedonism and cruelty. With either option, consider what you give up and what you gain? I don't know about you, but my own personal harem is appealing, however, I think the group will not accept me.
     The difference between selfishness and self-preservation is this: Behavior based on self-preservation involves sacrifices which serve to ensure our survival (ensuring our own survival not being selfish?) while selfish behavior is about refusing sacrifice and is effectively self-destructive. Of course, considering that we can make sacrifices for selfish reasons, for instance, endangering your life for the safety of an endangered loved one, I believe that the human machine is entirely selfish. That being the case, any negative connotations attached to the word should be reconsidered. Instead, you should consider each selfish action as one you like or one you don't.

By the way, Ultra King Arthur vs. Nega-Caligula. Mirite?

Christian God Kills Unborn Children in Bible

Either the Christian god kills unborn children with the flood in the story of Noah's Arc, or the story of Noah's Arc is fiction because how could there not be at least one pregnant woman on the planet at any time? God aborted babies, Genesis 6:17.

Heavy Metal Sucks

     I like various kinds of music. I like rock, jazz, pop, blues, rap, and symphonic/orchestral stuff. I really like music with intelligent, poetic lyrics and well composed music including a large number and variety of instruments and I prefer songs that are long and that don't sound repetitive. I recently discovered Power Metal, a genre of rock described as uplifting, symphonic metal - Sounds good! Fascinated, I needed to share my discovery with the world!
     I was talking about Power Metal when some fucking guy says to me "Hey, listen to these guys. They're pretty upbeat too" and this fucker gives me the name of a Heavy Metal band. The band is called *sigh* 3 Inches of Blood. That's as cliched as it gets. He suggested three songs too, as if to complement my song suggestions. In retrospect I think he could have been fucking with me.
     What do I hate about 3 Inches of Blood? First off, the singer has that high pitched, screechy rocker voice that sounds like he has a throat cold and he just breathed in some helium. Fuck that voice. That voice is balls. How was that voice ever taken seriously? Whenever I hear that voice I think of Dr. Rockso, the Rock and Roll Clown, and I think "fuck!"
     Second, the music. When I picture what these guys look like when they play their instruments, I picture chaos itself. It sounds like the entire band is, without any coordination, thought, or knowledge of how to play, just tries to light their instruments on fire with friction!
     Third, the lyrics. I read them. Oh my, I read them. It reads like they just wrote down a collection of sentence fragments which are related only by themes of Conan the Barbarian, blood, violence, and more Conan the Barbarian.
     Fuck 3 Inches of Blood and fuck that guy!

Movie Review: The Santa Clause

    I remember being a kid and really liking this movie. If you think about it, the premise is a bit dark though. Santa Claus dies right in front of Tim Allen and his kid, and no one gives a shit. In fact, no one gives a shit ever in the whole movie that A MAN DIED. Not even the elves give a shit. The son cares for like 2 seconds, but he seems more excited than sad or mad or confused. Then he starts going through the man's personal belongings. Is that grave robbing? Is that violating the man's right to privacy? How about calling for help, shitheads! A man fell off your fucking two-story house!
    Like I said, NO ONE CARES in this movie that a man died. Tim Allen and his kid go to the North Pole where none of the elves give a shit. Most of them are fucking excited about it, like getting a new puppy. The head elf is pissed off that he has to train somebody new, though. NO ONE CARES! They should have asked Tim Burton to direct this movie so they could have someone scratch a tally mark into the Santa Wall. It's not explicitly said, but I guess the elves are just used to losing endeared Santas. How the fuck does SANTA CLAUS die anyway?
    Now, in the third movie, Tim Allen must find a wife or else the magic of Santa wears off. So I now have some questions that were also neglected by the first movie. Did the Santa who died in movie 1 have a wife or was he a new Santa, too? A Mrs. Claus is a part of the Santa Claus mythology. What happened to her? Does she die automatically just because shit befalls her husrband? That's a raw deal.
    So Tim sleeps in Santa's bed. Is that a clean bed, because I assume that it's the regularly used bed of a married couple who fuck. What, Santa DOESN'T fuck? Everybody fucks. Get over it. My concern is that Tim is sleeping in an unwashed bed that two people have sex in. I think that's gross.
    Those are the two biggest flaws in the movie that I can recall. I also recall no one taking him very seriously when his hair turns white in a month and he puts on a 100lbs. I mean, 100lbs in one month and naturally white hair in your 30s? And No one cares! They ask, but they just assume he's going crazy. It's a ridiculous idea which sets up the escalating conflict in the movie. They just assume the man is going insane with delusions that he is Santa Claus. Fuck.
    So finally, Tim saves Christmas and FINALLY proves he's the real deal when he FINALLY shows people magic shit. Why didn't you show them your magic before? That situation was getting ugly, fast. Are you a dumbass? You need to play shit closer to the vest or show your magic. And those elves - the elves didn't help him with this? Was there no training? And the elves are completely agitated by Tim's concerns. "What? You didn't think you'd get old and fat overnight!? Stop wasting my time! Goddamn asshole!" They establish that the elves think Christmas is extremely important, so important that the slightest bad joke that Christmas is cancelled and the entire workshop gasps in unison and waits in painful silence to be shot. These people didn't even call the guy and let him know what to expect and not to worry! ARRGH!
    So, in conclusion, no one values life, no one questions sudden extreme weight gain and aging and are even inclined to indignantly dismiss it as insanity, Mrs. Claus is bullshit, and the elves are basically crazy.

How to Become a Timelord

     Everyone loves the B television show Doctor Who! Being a Time Lord seems really great. Have you ever wanted to be a Time Lord too? It's actually pretty simple. You can become a corny, intergalactic, time-traveling, super good guy in no time!

STEPS
One
Get a clock, watch, or etc., anything will do as long as you can use it to keep track of time as it is relevant to you. The best option is something portable and always keep it on you.

2*
Get a calender for whatever year is important to you so you can keep track of the date.
*Note: Some clocks keep track of the date now, so skip this step if you have one of them.

C
Congratulations! You are now a Time Lord!

TIPS
o If you have more than 1 clock, keep them synchronized so your knowledge of time will always be correct.
o Develop some new habits to always keep track of time, such as referring to your calender the same time each day and putting your watch on first thing in the morning.

WARNINGS
o If you travel to a new time zone, adjust your clock(s) accordingly right away!
o Sundials are bullshit.

MATERIALS
  1 Clock
  1 Calender
  (optional) 1 Noisy Screwdriver and/or Flashlight with noisy Screwdriver taped on

SITATIONS
o The Bible
o The Quran

"Hey Josh, what do you think about a picnic?"

     "What do you think about my dick?"

Here's a list of things I hope I won't do or go through or have happen to me, ever.
Picnics
Jury Duty
Prison Sentence
Dancing
Going Blind
Road Trip
Head Trauma
Karaoke
Camping
Hiking
Becoming a cripple
Sky Diving
Getting Stabbed
Bungee Jumping
Rock climbing
Scuba Diving
Losing a finger or body part
Skiing
Sailing
Going to the Beach
Burned Alive
Attending a Wedding
get smooshed under a car
Baby Shower
Birthdays
Raped
Coming of Age events
Sporting Event
Hitchhiking
Fishing
Hunting
Getting Shot


That's right, picnics, jury duty, and prison are on the same list! Notice I did not add getting struck by lightning! I really do think "what do you think about my dick?" is an elegant response in spite of the vulgarity because of how effectively and efficiently it communicates everything I think and feel about the matter. The only other adaquette response I can think of is flipping the bird.

Welcome to the N.H.K. Review

I watched the anime in japanese with english subs several years ago and I really liked it, but I wasn't able to appreciate it back then. Why? Someone had prepared me for a comedy, so I expected a comedy. This series is even classified as a comedy. It's not a comedy. NHK is dark. Real dark. It's a story about a bunch of very sad, tragic people. The manga is even darker. How dark? There are several suicide scares all throughout. By the end, the suicide scares become dramatic for different reasons than someone no longer wants to live because life sucks, instead the suicide scares become dramatic because suicide is used as emotional manipulation by main characters against other main characters.

I recently watched the anime again, this time in english and I was prepared for a tragedy this time. When I finished, I thought it was brilliant, so I had to read the manga. Here's the thing: The anime stops about halfway through the manga and so it makes up an ending. It makes up a lot of other stuff too; It does it very well, but it doesn't prepare you for the manga.

In the anime, it seems that each character has their own emotional baggage, and it seems pretty minor, actually. In the manga, it seems that each character has a themed fucked-up-ness. I think every character has a themed psychology problem like batman villains. The main character, Sato, is an irresponsible, habitual liar with various phobias, anxieties, and delusions who by all rights should be homeless by now. Misaki is not some cute girl with problems due to a hard past anymore, actually, she's a rich girl with a serious psychological disorder who wants to make Sato her emotional prisoner. Even early on this character makes you nervous. Yamazaki is a misogynist and pedophile. I think the two problems could be related? Hinata has depression and is a druggie. There's something else wrong with her too.

I started speed reading from chapter 30 on, so maybe I missed some stuff, but I don't think the ending made sense. Granted, the ending doesn't need to make sense because it's a story about a bunch of crazy people, so whatever. At the very least, the manga's ending wasn't satisfying. It had an open ending. I hate those. It showed us promise of the characters all getting their shit together and that everything would work out like we all hope, basically it stopped at an otherwise arbitrary point. I kept reading because I wanted to see something. It's not enough that you hint that It would happen and say the end. Actually, you could even see that there's room for things to fall apart.

Anyway, so whoever decided that this was a comedy is an idiot and a liar. Either that, or they're an abuse victim who never learned better. But, because the material is so dark, then obviously you have to insert humor wherever you can or else no one could stomach it. It'd be too depressing. I recommend the anime though. I think it has appeal to people who don't even like anime because it is a good story and it's not a typical anime. It's got a very fun style and direction. Just don't prepare people for a comedy when you recommend it to them. It's to dark to be a comedy.

5 Stages of Grief from Immaturity to Maturity

     "When I was a kid..." Words I often think to myself whenever a situation becomes too difficult or awkward. When I was a kid, that is to say, when I was innocent, the world was an great place. When I reached the age of reason, I became unhappy with the world which I was beginning to question, and the time in between the age of innocence and the age of reason is forgotten.

1. Denial
I haven't forgotten the first time I experienced anxiety. It was at the start of puberty. I just wished it would go away. For several years, I no longer enjoyed anything. I felt sick in my stomach and I just wanted to sleep all the time. My mom told me I needed to distract myself and the pain wouldn't bother me, even go away. Her advice worked, but those commercials asking for money for starving kids in poor countries always killed me. Also, I think this is when I started getting fat.

2. Anger
I haven't forgotten the angst of my teen years either. I used to hate my peers because they were so stupid to me. I was even bitter for about 6 months in my senior year of high school. I couldn't stand the routine, the work, and I hated the attitude people had for it. A particular example of the attitude I mean is when teachers promise "This project will be fun." I'd think, "go fuck yourself."

3. Bargaining
As an atheist, I don't think I ever bargained for anything, but I'm sure I wasted a lot of time hoping for good things happen on their own a lot.

4. Depression
I remember turning 19 or 20 and suddenly being hit with the realization that I was an adult now. I was doing my thing when suddenly I felt old! Sometime when I was 21 I had another realization that I was completely free of my angst and I had become a different person since high school. I took some solace.

Finally, I had a health scare. I went to the emergency room 3 times when I was 22 for non-existent heart or breathing problems and I'm not a hypochondriac. Anxiety from stress caused me to have high blood pressure and shortness of breath that seemed to persist for at least 8 months. My medical doctor probably couldn't  tell me outright, and it retrospect I think I can see that he was hinting at it strongly, but I had some stress that I wasn't aware of.

5. Acceptance
I finally realized that my species has a sense of entitlement. We think we're fucking special. I heard a goth perspective that anger is the emotion of rejection but sadness is the emotion of acceptance. I was at times indignant about life's indifference, but now I am happy with it; I no longer believe humanity is fucking special.

     Anyway, I think all people experience the 5 stages of grief over the loss of their innocence. Its different for everyone and some people probably live full lives without ever getting to stage 5, trying to hold onto that innocence.

King of America 3: Solar Power and Pot!

King of America 3
    As King of America, I see oil dependency as a shameful thing and I plan to relieve it by making electricity so dirt cheap that the combustion engine goes out of style like sex with rocks! Obviously, America has no money to put into anything, so I'll hire a blind butcher with nuclear chainsaws for hands to gut our bloated, runaway military budget for some scratch. Then I would create programs and grants to incentivize people to get solar panels installed on their homes and advertise these programs at every DMV because post offices are as deserted as a mofo. I'd even slowly mandate the use of solar panels in homes and business, with consideration for the owner's financial needs. In time, solar panels will pay for themselves and we will begin generating revenue from the fucking sky. Thank you, sky!

    With enough solar panels, people will have no electric bills! They'll have more money to spend. For some people, that's discretionary income, for others it isn't! The cost of living will go down! The economy will improve. Over time we'll also be doing a lot less importing. We can even sell electricity to other countries!   At the very least, we should turn Florida into a giant solar power plant (get it? 'cause it's the sunshine state?). California (and a few other states resembling a desert) is very sunny, so let's cover a few counties with solar panels, why not? With the decreased air population, there will be even more sun, I think. That global warming thing will be 10 years away from clearing up!

    I'll also decriminalize and regulate pot! Pot means millions in tax revenue and less crime! Also, we won't be wasting money on some bullshit drug war that ultimately is bullshit. Did I mention the bullshit of it all? It's bullshit. Bullshit. I'd incentivize pot farms too! Hemp clothes and paper products will come back! You know marijuana is a micacle plant, right? I'd hire scientists to make some panacea and elixir. I'll call it Panacelixir. Watch me. Hippies win, bitch.

Korra Book Two Review

Things Wrong with Korra S2 Finale:

It's the President of Republic City's Fault
    Remember when Korra told this asshole that Unaloc is an evil megalomaniac who used his armed forces to invade and occupy a peaceful country because he wanted to unite them and the president said "not my problem" like that asshole from Spider-Man? I know from watching the first series that your world has the concept of despotism, so why didn't you do anything? You didn't even send a message telling him not to be a cruel asshole.
    Remember when Korra tried to seal the portal? It came down to a matter of seconds and she failed! If that moron president put the world first and his city second, Korra might have had another minute and that would be that! The guy didn't give her shit, even when fucking Tenzin showed up! as far as we know, the guy didn't even give her a loaf of day old bread! What a cock.

No, wait, it's Korra's Fault.
    Why is it that the only world leader that she chooses to rely on is the one trick horse of an asshole President of Republic City? Isn't there a powerful Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation still around? Is this asshole really in charge of the fucking planet? 70 years out of the medieval period and you've already got a single fucking world leader? I call bullshit! Impeach this motherfucker! There should really be some clauses that says it's not treason to stab el presidente in the face if said dipsit leader is a negligent, lethargic skid mark! Did Aang really envision a future of bureaucratic inaction and the suffering of innocence? Where's your avatar now!

It's all Tenzin's Fault
    Right before the final fight with the big bad started, you benched your best guy? Why!? If Tenzin were backing up Korra when she fought Unaloc, shit wouldn't have gotten real! I'm sorry about your kid, but the whole world is about to be rocked by 10,000 years of fucking darkness, dude! Pull your head out of your ass. The responsible thing as Aang's son and the hope for the future of all air benders would be to cut your loses and insure that there will be a place for your air benders. I think it sucks that the guy is in his 40s or something and he's still burdened with daddy issues. Really? And this guy calls himself a spiritual leader?

No, wait. It's Aang's Fault
    I have a hard time believing that Aang could turn out to be such a bad dad. It makes me think of that movie Hook where Peter Pan grows up and becomes a lawyer. You'd think someone like Aang, who, at the age or 11 or 12, was presented as one of the most compassionate people on the planet, as opposed to someone who is prone to obsession, would have some idea about how to raise a family? Think about the kid who escorted two feuding families through a dangerous canyon of wild, man-eating animals and made them forgive each other? He also forgave General Zhao for killing the fucking moon. Not even Iroh did that! Does that sound like the guy who would grow up into a father who showed favoritism and imposed his expectations on his kids so hardcore that they carried that baggage into their middle age and grew up to be losers with poor self-esteem? "He was too busy trying to build a city and save the world," and etc. was the excuse. Really? And Katara was so ineffectual as a mother that she couldn't rein in her kids' dad or pick up the slack? Katara is the girl who inspired a bunch of spirit-crushed earth bender prisoners to rebel after 10 years against some douchebag oppressor of douchebaginess and taught the value of sexual equality to a an entire culture with one short visit.


No! It's the Northern Water Tribe's Fault!
How come every villain so far is some waterbending asshole of the northern water tribe? With a brother. Last series, the fire nation was full of assholes. Now, it's the northern water tribe's turn to be a dick. I see what you're doing, Michael and Brian!


And how come everyone is a superior bender to Korra? Aang was pretty much nails in the first season, yet Korra is contantly outdone by PENCIL PUSHING OLD MEN AND OLD BALLED DESK JOCKYS! Seriously, the old men who run the country must work out hardcore! Have you seen Korra? Chick's BUFF as shit! No wonder the world politics is as such, all the world leaders spend 8 hours of the day training! They can't be bothered to think about the concequences of permitting hostile invasions and occupations, they gotta keep in shape so they can beat someone who by all rights should be 4 times more powerful! Also, how come most soldiers in the world seem to be less effective benders than athletes in their teens and elderly law makers? The pecking order would suggest that being old and having political power automatically makes you more powerful than the present demi-god.

That said, I enjoyed Korra season 2, unlike season 1. There were episodes I even loved. Fills me with hope for the next season and future series.

My Type of Woman

Here's a list of characteristics that I'm looking for in a woman
1) Atheist; Not even spiritual
2) Creative
3) Intelliegent
4) Doesn't want Kids
5) Doesn't like Dogs or exotic pets including reptiles, aviators, insects, fish, etc.
6) Likes Cats
7) Introvert
8) Doesn't Have a Life, Socially Inactive: Prefers Indoor, creative and intelligent Activities
9) Doesn't like Traditions or Observe Holidays
10) Likes the rain.

That would be it. Notice how I left out physical attributes? It's actually because I'm physically attracted to a very wide range of sizes, shapes, colors, etc. although I am partial to short hair. Also, see any obvious problems? This kind of woman is not likely to cross my path because she probably goes out as much as I do and she doesn't go far. I should look into online dating.

Mythbusters Sucks

I used to love Mythbusters. In about 2006 it became clear to me that the Mythbusters had completely run out of ideas. Then they asked for fan ideas. Blech. The myths became less and less interesting and the fan service booms became more and more redundant.

Why was Mythbusters a good show to begin with? Jamie and Adam. They have a classic serious guy/silly guy dynamic. They're genuinely interesting and fun people. Those other jerks, Kari, Tori, and Grant, have no chemistry. I call them "female audience, male audience, minorities." They were fun as the build team which included Scotty and they were less involved with the show. Back then, the group dynamic was two spunky girls and their guy play thing. I really like them individually, but I never liked them as Mythbusters.

I'd like them to move away from blowing shit up to debunking anything they wanted, from conspiracy theories to bogus science claims. Adam Savage said he'd like to do something like this.

Gamefaqs Sucks

Before I was gaming, there was only Nintendo Power and what the other kids knew. When the internets were invented, a wizard created Gamefaqs. This is the most popular of sites dedicated providing detailed guides, hints, tips, tricks, cheats, and etc. for gamers for every video game out there. I know I used it a lot. But gamefaqs in general suck!

Here's the thing: Most Gamefaqs authors were like, 8 to teenage!  You know how well those people can write? They write like shit. It can be so bad, you give up without finding your answer, or they'd be so inept they couldn't communicate the answer. Here's a list of all the shit that made gamefaqs barely qualify as English!

1) Summarizing Game Events
This happened a lot! They had to explain what was going on in the game for you for some reason. I don't know why! It's completely useless! I'm playing the fuggin' game, asswipe! This is wrong because it's not important information! If it doesn't tell me what to do do or how to do it, it's an obstacle to my goal: learning what to do! It's crap I have to filter out for myself to get to the useful bits. Sometimes, you'd read entire paragraphs and you wouldn't find shit! You didn't know there wouldn't be anything there. What a waste of time!

2) Commentary
After uselessly summarizing the game's events, they'd do something even more useless:  Make comments! I don't need to know if you thought a scene was funny, asscrack. I don't care if you think Cloud is an asshole. Shut up and tell me where the Mithril Pants are before I find out where you live! I don't care about your opinions!

3) Jokes
They made jokes! They made fucking jokes! And they weren't funny, either! They were never funny. More shit that made me waste my time having to filter out as superfluous garbage. They didn't seem to understand that we each have our own inner voice; that is to say, when I read something, it sounds like THIS in MY head and not the way it sounds in your head! You're not funny. I didn't read your FAQ for the humor.

4) File Size
There's FAQs so long they don't fit hard drives in space craft! A) Get a life and B) work on your conciseness! These people went for records, man. There are FAQs greater than 1Meg! Why?! At some point I learned to just click the smaller FAQs. You know the ones that didn't have good ratings? They were succinct. If there were any gaps in their information, you could fill them by referring to some of the larger guides, but for the most part you were all set.

5) Type-Os and Mistakes
Sometimes an entire key idea was completely lost due to some phenomenally bad type-Os that where completely uncharacteristic of what you'd been reading so far! All of the sudden, an entire sentence was cut out. They couldn't be interpreted! You'd guess at this point! If you guessed right, it meant that you figured it out all by yourself and you didn't need this guy. These were scary! Did this guy not have the answer and bullshit a type-O because it was that hard? Sometimes, they just had it wrong.

6) Rumors and Misinformation
Speaking of being wrong, thanks to Youtube you can't bullshit us with rumors anymore. Anyone who ever said you can revive Aeris is right where they belong now, I'm sure, dead. Sometimes they just told you shit you could do or couldn't do without actually knowing, and that's what you thought!

7) Organization
Let's face it, a lot of times these people don't know how to organize their material. They would give you directions to places or step by step instructions on how to do things and you got lost! You didn't just get lost, you were catastrophically lost! You had to go back! You had to reread shit. You didn't just have to reread shit, you had to replay shit, too! Why? It's because the directions were only given in twenty sentence paragraphs! They used landmarks that made no sense. They complicated simple things like left and right, up and down. Some steps got more details. This caused confusion. If one step gets 2 sentences while three other steps are in one sentence, you wondered what the fuck they were trying to communicate!

Now that we have Youtube, people can actually show you what to do and how to do it. Thanks, Youtube!

Men Can Hit Women

"Violence Against Women" is one of the most overused stupid rhetorics ever. It's usually preceded with "I don't believe in" or followed by "is wrong," As if violence against men is perfectly fine. Fuck you. I take the stance that Violence is wrong and fighting should only be used in self-defense. If you're ever in danger, put your own safety and the safety of loved ones first. It doesn't matter what the gender of your attacker is, that's sexist. Punch them in the temple, the eye, the jaw, whatever. Go for the throat if need be. No one has the right to harm you. Use self defense on anyone. I hope I don't have to spell out "reasonable force" to any detractors. I only point it out if there are people so unfamiliar with SELF-DEFENSE!

The only problem I see when it comes to men hitting women is weight class. Some women are small and some men are huge! It wouldn't be reasonable for for a 6'4" 250lbs man to deck a 5'0" 100lbs woman unless she had a gun or a knife, but otherwise, a few shots to the face are fair. If you don't believe a woman like that couldn't do serious damage, you're underestimating her; I would say that's sexist.

I hate that people are more passionate about women taking blows from men than about men taking blows from women. There's clearly some faulty connection in your brain. Is all violence wrong or are there forms of violence that are more wrong? Like skinning someone, that's pretty wrong. If a fistfight is wrong, why get more pissed at the man in a man vs woman fistfight than the woman? There's clearly a need to treat  PEOPLE differently based on GENDER. That's the definition of sexism. Thank you.

Violence against women is more wrong than violence against men because people are sexist assholes. Actually, I want you to hear yourself say "self-defense against female attackers is wrong."

Singing is Rude

I hate hearing other people sing. Here's why it't rude: You're being noisy. Maybe people don't want to be subjected to that particular stimuli. It's inconsiderate to just go around making noise without caring what nearby people think. Did you ask anyone if they mind if you sing? Don't you think that would be polite? You might not realize it, but you may be a lousy singer. Also, not everyone likes your taste in music, not to criticize your taste or preferences. There's a lot of songs I don't want to hear. Sometimes you can make a good song bad.

Actually, what bothers me about other people singing is not their singing as much as it's that they're singing. They don't know or care if they're bothering anyone. They're too stupid to know better. It agitates me, actually. Someone off to the side singing badly without a second thought. Sometimes you ask them to stop. Have you ever done that? Is there a nice way to do it? "Excuse me, could you please stop singing? I'm trying to read/watch a movie/concentrate on work/use the phone/etc." In my experience they get offended or they tell you something dumb like  "I'm not bothering anything." Sometimes people are kind and understanding and they agree, but five minutes later they forget! I could just leave the room but what if I was there first? What if you can't find a place in the house where you can no longer hear them? These are the kind of people who stand in front of the TV to talk to you, interrupt you while you're reading, or play music too loud.

Do Not Support the FCC

I do not support the FCC. I believe it is an unconstitutional entity because it is an abridgment of our freedom of speech. To hide a penis or a breast is more offensive than the image of a penis or a breast. The idea is control, which is folly. Some of the most "distasteful" sights and sounds exist in nature, in the real world, and in our flawed, human society. To hide it or cover it up because it's something distasteful, shameful, or wrong says all kinds of screwed up things about our collective psychology. First off, you're not giving people enough credit when you hide things. You're saying they're too weak or stupid to handle truth. Either that or you're suggesting that there's some inherent benevolence in doing the kindness of keeping us from things that are vulgar and indecent whether we like it or not. Second, you're blatantly filtering reality. It makes us blissfully and arrogantly ignorant of the suffering that much of the impoverished world endures day to day. It's arrogant because we choose to ignore it because it's beneath us to acknowledge it. It makes us naive to the harshness of the world. Art and entertainment should challenge us; it should challenge our perspective because that keeps us from becoming complacent and apathetic. An all male sex orgy is not offensive, but an inane, insipid, and trite conversation had by Snooki and her friends is.

What if you did show a penis or a breast? We have nudist cultures all over the world and the distinct difference between us and them is we have unhealthy body issues. We learn to be ashamed of our bodies. No one sits down with us and calmly, pleasantly says to us, "Son, your body is gross and disgusting and no one wants to see it. Keep yourself covered up," and that sounds bad enough but what we get instead is even worse. What happens in America when we see a breast is disgust and outrage: "Holy mother of god! I can't believe something so shameful could happen! It was wrong! It was obscene and wrong! Shame on you! This country is dire need of help!" Now, which do you think is more damaging to a child? The sight of a human breast? or people and your collective authority telling you to be ashamed of your disgusting breasts?

For all we know, it's probably perfectly healthy to see nakedness.  When did the first humans cover up anyway? Many cultures still don't and the problems with their societies don't come from their nudity! The FCC is not our mommy and daddy, stop messing with my TV and radio.

Washington "Redskins" Stays!

I don't care about sports, but there's a controversy within sports that is of a passing interest to me. The team name Washington Redskins in considered offensive by some and these people pressure the owners to change the name to something that is "good" or "nice" or PC. I think this is bogus. This so called offensive team name is less offensive than imposing our ideas on others. This is our culture now, and you can see how it has considerably degraded in the past 250 years. Remember "I don't agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it?" That's what America used to be about.

Let's go to an extreme example. I don't like the sound of The Washington Niggers, but what if? I say, It's your team, name it what you want. I don't see any children going hungry over this. The sun won't grow any dimmer. If you don't like it, root for the other guys. Don't play on that team. Don't buy their shit. Just don't support them, but remember to respect them none the less because disrespect and mistreatment will only make a bad situation worse.

When the president of the U.S.A. is bothered to comment on the subject, I think maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously.

Corporal Punishment is Wrong

You shouldn't hit your children. Aside from the evidence that corporal punishment is ineffective at correcting bad behavior, that it reinforces aggression and aggressive behavior, that it makes your children fear you rather than love you, and that it teaches them that violence is a viable solution to their problems, hitting or beating your children (or anyone outside self defense in a life or death scenario) is savagery and brutish. If you can't teach someone right from wrong without hurting them, then you're not fit to teach anyone right from wrong.

Two Kinds of Apologies

There are two kinds of apologies. There is the humble apology which just says "sorry" or "sorry and..." As in "I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me," or "I'm sorry and I hope we can still be friends." Then there's the arrogant apology which says "sorry but..." "Sorry, but you should have known better than to do this," or "sorry, but you shouldn't have done that..." The reason why we make arrogant apologies is because it's more important for us to be right than to be peaceful.

When we make a mistake or inadvertently harm someone, cross a line, violate a boundary or step on someone's toes, they lose a little bit of faith in you. One way of recovering it is by apologizing. A good apology does not try to explain, defend, or justify our actions. A good apology just tries to make up for a mistake and undo some emotional damage. Be the bigger person and apologize; if the other person is big enough, they'll accept your apology and maybe they'll apologize for something too. Give people some credit and assume they'll take some responsibility. If they don't, oh well.

How Old Does a Universe Have to be in Order to Produce Intelliegent Life?

I have a question for Quantum Physicists and Cosmologists: What is the minimum age a universe must be before it can produce intelligent life? After the big bang, the universe is full of hot, chaos for a long, long time. Finally, things settle down. Somewhere in between, planets and stars and etc. come and go. At what age is the universe no longer too chaotic and dangerous to sustain life somewhere long enough for that life to become intelligent? This is an interesting question because it could help us to figure whether or not there is other intelligent life in the universe and if so how much older is it than us. Maybe we're in the first generation?

It occurs to me that our universe has no name. I would like to suggest Universe Josh, or we could call it Michael Jackson. Either way, I'm good.

God is Despicable, but I'm the Asshole?

If you're suffering from a mild to sever head wound, you probably don't know this but 2/3 children on this planet go to bed hungry at night! In some parts of the world, there are prostitutes so young you'd shit yourself. Rape is sky high in Africa where some people actually believe they can cure their aids by having sex with a virgin. Some people have only filthy, infested water to drink. There's all kinds of worse hell I could describe, but I want to make my point. This is God's world (if you're superstitious) and he said it was good. If I explicitly depicted some of the horrors that are everyday life on Earth for some people in writing or in a painting, some of you would have to bust out the dictionary to tell me how sick that makes me. I'm just painting a vulgar, vile scene of raiders attacking a village in the night, mutilating, stealing, raping, and murdering, but God is responsible for the real thing. How come God get's praised for orchestrating real, actual heinous atrocities, but If I reproduce it in an art form, I'm the asshole? I hate this world and the people on it.

Amazing Thought Experiment - Virtual Country for Everyone on the Internet!

I want to start my own country! Why? Lots of reason. The biggest is America is still rocking a 250 year old set of rules based on 250 year old ideas! That is absurd! That is idiotic! That is stupid! Some of these rules are obsolete. Also consider that the dead people who wrote this were not happy with it when they signed it!

If we could put a country together today - Wow

Here's my proposal for a Virtual Country: Anyone on the internet can join! All you need is an e-mail address. The participants are citizens which is our population.  Who you are in real life is who you are in our virtual country. If your background is in cooking or math or running a movie theater, that's who you get to be in our virtual world. You can also pursue other things in the virtual world given there is a virtual opportunity. But we're starting from scratch! We have no laws, no infrastructure, and no money.

For the purposes of this experiment, our virtual country must exist in real space. There's plenty of space in the American mid-west, the Australian Outback, the Canadian North, Antarctica, the Arctic, and The Sahara Desert. Let's pretend we're allowed, where do we build?

The more participants, the better. All we really need is a web space where we can discuss and maintain the status of our virtual country over time. I want to compare the progress of this country to that of America in 10 years and show who is fit to protect the human species and the planet Earth.

Visit Grand City Bob, why not?

Eating Out is Bullshit!

I hate eating out. It's not fun, it's not nice, it's not pleasant. Actually, it's particularly unpleasant. To ask me to go out to eat is to ask me to endure mild discomfort and I'll resent you for that and feel bad about it.

I like to eat a certain way:
     First, I like to hold my plate under my chin and shovel food into my mouth like an animal. I know manners. I have manners. My manners are actually very good. Manners are a burden. I like to eat at my own rate.
     Second, I like to eat in comfortable clothing! In my home, I dress like I'm working out: shorts and a shirt. I don't want to wear my good clothes when I go out to eat. I don't want to worry about dirtying or ruining something and wearing my food in public. I also don't like the whole process of getting ready. I can wash up before I eat, but I don't want to shower and comb my fucking hair too! This logic is absurd: Wear a belt to eat.
     Third, I don't care to wear shoes or eat at a table in a chair. All three of these things keep me from sitting in position I find comfortable. I like to sit in a half-lotus position (google it!). Sometimes I like to lay on my side to eat.
     Fourth, close quarters, face-to-face is awkward for me, but even more awkward than that is forcing conversation. I am an introvert, but I can be an amazing conversationalist when I have something to talk about with someone I want to talk to. I am witty, funny, even charming. I don't like forcing conversation. That's when I am slow, dull, and even stupid. In addition, an environment where I have to be careful of what I say or how I say it hinders me.
     Fifth, I hate being waited on. I would much rather get a refill myself than interact with a servant. I also feel like I'm troubling the servant and it makes me feel like an asshole. It just does. It doesn't matter if that's their job or that I ALWAYS TIP.
     Sixth, I like to do stuff while I eat. This might be gaming, writing, watching TV (TV I like!), listening to music, etc.

A hate the amount of time involved in eating out too.
     First, you have to get ready. I already addressed this. Getting ready takes too long, and I'm just going to undo it as soon as I get back!
     Second, you have to drive somewhere, or worse, walk! You'll also have to drive back. Driving is sort of a necessary part of life, but that doesn't mean I want additional driving. I get all my food at the grocery store in one or two trips a week and I cook it. (More on this later.)
     Third, waiting for a table. This of course applies to specific places. Even if you have a reservation, you'll still wait. But if you don't have a reservation, you'll have to make one and wait 30 minutes to an hour.
     Fourth, waiting on your food. When I was a kid I would color or play with the salt and pepper shakers. Now I have to polite and considerate while I'm growing ever more hungry!

Money
     Its always expensive. There is a dollar amount I'm happy to put on a meal. I don't like paying $10-$15 for a plate of food. Fucking shit that's ballsy. You got nerve, restaurant industry! Call me cheap if you want. If you think I'm cheap and you don't like it, don't go out with me.

     You know what else? If there's any stimuli in the environment I one would ordinarily object to, such as obnoxious people or a crying child, that actually doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother other people. If I'm eating out, I'm probably already having a bad time. Screaming children, gross eating noises, or constant obnoxious laughter are actually an improvement.

Cooking Myself
     I like to be able to say "I can cook." This makes women think, "that's hot." I know this for a fact. Look it up. I also like improving my ability as a cook. I see it as a practical and valuable life skill. I like it when a meal comes together successfully. It makes me feel good. I also have more control over what I eat. That's healthy. It's also more affordable. Making trips to restaurants all the time is more gas and mileage on my car. 

Rinoa's Limit Breaks

They shouldn't have let me name my own dog!

Is Rinoa an asshole atheist or a wacko nut job? Which is more appealing to you? Or has she actually attained God as her servant? It would fit the theme of this game.

Baseball Sucks - Steroids Would Make it Better!

Baseball is boring! The first baseball game I remember was not necessarily the first baseball game I went to. I complained so much about how bored I was that we left in about fifteen minutes. Baseball is probably the easiest sport to learn and to play. Baseball is so lame, the greatest baseball player ever was a fat guy. The only thing you ever hear about baseball is the steroid use, which actually sounds like a beautifully untapped potential for money and entertainment!

Legalize steroid use in baseball! I think I'll start my own baseball league where all players are required to use steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. Sleep in an elevation tent too! The bigger, faster, harder, and stronger you are, the more interesting the game. Could you imagine a baseball league where all the players were jacked! I'd watch that! I want to see a sport where all the players are badass! I want to see a sport that demonstrates the full potential of a human being. I want to see what this species can do! I want a league with it's obscene records! Maybe we can even make the diamond bigger to accommodate all the giants and titans running around.

I'd even let them dress however they wanted. Sleeveless? Sure. Tuxedo? Terrific! Banana Hammock? We can print a team logo on that! Nude? No problem! Just as long as you have your number plainly visible. You could even wear a cape or dress like a lucha libre. Sounds good to me. I encourage a team to resemble or parody a super hero team.

Also, you're required to have an nontraditional team name like Killer Bastards, Evil Space Aliens, or Fuzzy Pickled Robots. None of that animals crap. Who the fuck wants to watch The Sharks vs The Polar Bears? Only if it's a real shark and polar bear goddamn you! I want to see Demonic Babies vs Ghost Voyuers!

You know what else? Mixed sexes! As long as you are willing to follow the drug rules and have the skills to make the team, you're in! It's baseball, there's not a whole lot of physical contact. It's all about skill and ability here. Weight Class and Age are bigger factors for an athlete here.

I'd call it the SBL - The Super Baseball League, or something like that.

Comic Idea Finally Coming to Life!

Page 1 at Deviant Art as of 9/1/2013! It's a fantasy story about a mysterious young, whimsical bard named Josephine. She travels the world for adventure, singing songs and writing stories. In a medieval setting, she's dangerously equipped with ideas and technology far more sophisticated that any existing culture. She's often  able to bluff her way out of great danger, but when she can't the magic at her command and her seemingly inability to die surprise and challenge all.

The Book of Joshua has More Holes than Twilight

Because my name is Joshua, every religious person I've ever met in my adulthood has told me I should read the book of Joshua.

The book of Joshua has some serious flaws that cause me outrage. None seem more abhorrent than the character God's personal definition of the word "Forsaken." Right away, God tells Joshua that he will not forsake Joshua as he did not forsake Moses. Let's go off on a tangent. I think the story of Moses is common knowledge. Rather than use his almighty powers for good himself, God commissions a weak, flawed mortal, Moses, with the burden of God's responsibility which is to free the Israelites from slavery. Why God allowed his chosen people to become enslaved in the first place is another problem because it means either God permitted slavery which makes him evil or God failed to prevent slavery which means he is not almighty. Later, God strands Moses and the Jews in the desert for forty years as an extremely unfair, horribly brutal punishment for something Moses himself did not do which is unjust because Moses is innocent. Also, God doesn't let anyone actually get home, which I believe makes God a liar if he ever said the Jews would be led to Salvation or anything to that effect.

Let's address the seriousness of this because it's wicked. God is everyone's role model and he is supposedly Good. What is good about him in this story? It's a story about a fucking asshole. Due to Gods' action or inaction, innocent people are enslaved and first born sons including babies are killed. What if I did that? You'd hate my guts. You'd think me a wretch. Yet, not only does God get away with this, he is praised and worshiped for it. It's a double standard. God preaches good and does evil. He's a hypocrite. He's a brute who hands out extreme punishment for things that are ultimately harmless to simple people who don't know better. The relationship between God and his followers sounds like a relationship of one-sided abuse and this is what Christians learn as moral. This is an example they live by. Shit!

So while the Israelites were stranded in the desert and possibly for the time that they were enslaved (which I can't get over!), Israel had some squatters and they decided to claim Israel as their homeland. God is truly a worthless house sitter! Next God tells Joshua that he's being commissioned to take Israel back. Israel by the way is the land which God promised to the Jews to possess! So once again, God is refusing to accept any responsibility for what can be interpreted as either his failures or negligence, possibly deliberate, and doesn't remove the squatters himself (in a peaceful way!), but instead sends someone in his name and place who is significantly less qualified. And by "commission," God of course means "coercion" because who would or could tell God no? Additionally, why does God require the Jews to take back their home and expel the invaders? Why can't they learn to live side by side in peace and harmony! Mother fucker!

God also tells Joshua that the task will require his people to suffer and die to complete. More cruelty! Joshua and his people are now being forced to suffer and die again against their will to correct errors in God's righteous, almighty judgment.

All this and I only read <1 page of ~30.

Teen Titans Go! Review

Have you ever seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force? That was a show about a super hero team on their days off. Likewise, Teen Titans Go! is a show about a super hero team when they're not fighting crime/evil. It's silly, it's whacky, it's fun. Give it a fair chance and watch one episode. I like how cute everything looks.

You know what's tragic though, is I'd like to see this turned into a more adult oriented show like Shin Chan or other Adult Swim material. It's almost a waste, but I guess kids are getting something pretty good.

That's all. Go back to your porn.

The Patriarchy Conspiracy

If you aren't aware, today's feminists have created their own mythology complete with a villain - Men. Yeah, I don't get it either. It's not just some strange quirk of human society that different social groups have their own disadvantages, no, there is actually a conspiracy by men to subjugate women because men are sadistic and like to mistreat women. It's absurd to think that two thousand years of history are built and continue to operate on the function of men believing they're superior and therefore have some inherent dominion over women which they choose to use by subjugation and objectification of women. I'm insulted; I have been called both stupid and cruel. If I owned all women and if I am as cruel as I have been alleged to be, I think I could come up with something more clever than to have women cook and clean for me all the while psychologically abusing them by brutally crushing their sense of self-worth, their self-identity, their passion, and their creativity. This is not The Matrix. Fuck you assholes so much.

This concept of The Patriarchy as some evil, woman hating machine is laughable for another reason: Sexism is quickly failing. If our society was really this hyper-sophisticated evil Patriarchy, do you really think that women's suffrage would have made any progress or are you prepared to suggest it's success as some illusion permitted or even orchestrated by the Patriarchy as a means to continue to oppress women in a modern age under the guise of sexual equality - You're equal now, but you're still inferior to us and therefore to be treated as such. This is a conspiracy theory and it's got as many holes in it as any other conspiracy theory.

Sexual Discrimination Against Men

I wonder how many of you will be able to understand this because I really think some of you out there really are some of the rock-stupidest bastards and we'd only make the world a better place by taking you out back and having you shot.

The most prevalent form of sexual discrimination against men is an overall mentality that men are supposed to behave a certain way because of their gender or else their validity as people is called into question. This nonsense usually comes from other men. When a man challenges the accepted behavior, society attempts to correct this by telling them "man up," "grow a pair," "be a man," "aren't you a man?" and etc. I believe it's been some time since we decided it's a douche-y thing to do to try to control the behavior of girls and women by suggesting that something is not very lady-like.

I've heard people say they can't respect a man after seeing him cry. That's sexist.

I remember the abundance of "anything you can do..." themed everything in the 90's which paired female and male counterparts and showing them as having the same right and being proper to be a something, usually athletes. I've never seen the commercial where men got to wear dresses, skirts, kilts, or the color pink, or where men got to get away with carrying purses or wearing fanny packs, throw baby showers, have spa days, etc. To this day, I have encountered men who still use bar soap because body wash is for women.

There are things you can't do as a heterosexual man. I imagine homosexual men will be the ones to do all the firsts and overtime it will just become acceptable for the rest of us. I could seriously go for a massage and some manscaping here.

Like I said earlier, this garbage usually comes from men. Usually. They're usually the ones who are asshole enough to say it out loud or demonstrate the attitude or make it a thing of pride, but women do it too. Here's my question: Why? Maybe the sight of a man crying or the emotional response it invokes is actually disgusting and that's our nature. Maybe we give off a chemical signal that says we need to be thinned from the herd? If so, let's see your data. Otherwise, you're a douche for thinking it and you're a douche for saying it.

I suspect this is just some socio-cultural behavior we've yet to outgrow from our days as cave-man. If you were alive in the dark ages and you were a man, you had to be a man. That was your roll. You were probably better off for being a man while you were a man too. If you weren't, you were cowardly and weak, you wouldn't be accepted, you were shameful, disgraceful, you'd be the victim of bigger, stronger men, and you'd go without. The unsophisticated mind works like this: If you have a penis, you do this. If you have a vagina, you do that. You can't do that with a penis and you can't do this with a vagina. Those are the rules. Fuck you.

I'm confident this mentality will erode in my lifetime. 
Also I think sports are boring.

I have Invented a New Term: "The Psychopath's Lazy Disguise"

So you're walking along when you see someone wearing a sweater-vest and you assume, "hey, this guy's wearing a sweater-vest, I bet he's a nice guy. Why don't I shoot the breeze?" It's really more the rule than the exception: People who dress like twats are bastards. They put on an outfit that says "good old fashioned Christian/American values" like a vest, plaid pants and loafers, but it's really the psychopaths' lazy disguise. They figure no one will suspect they're really an asshole if they dress like Peter Parker.

So how do you tell a dork from the lazy psycho? It's actually really simple, just observe the way they walk. Dorks walk with their chin tucked down, their eyes low with slumped shoulders and a hunch back. Psychopaths walk the way William Shatner probably walks.

Now, you should be aware, there are Confident Dorks. Confident Dorks are smart people who are a little unhappy because they don't identify with their culture, so they might have a flare for waving their IQ around like it's their dick via sarcasm, smart ass responses, or dark humor, but deep down most dorks are like Bill Nye's surface. The difference between a Confident Dork and a Lazy Psychopath is that even the most confident dork will never be slick. There will always be something odd about their posture, gate, body language, etc. that a Psychopath will lack.

Anyway, the point is don't assume that men in sweater vests don't also own an outfit consisting of a bikini, a ski-mask, and a good pair of running sneakers.

Politicians Should be Psyche Screened

In an episode of Through the Wormhole, there is an episode called "Can We Eliminate Evil?" which shows that our darker side is a natural part of the Human Condition and is relevant to all individuals. It also says Psychopaths, people afflicted with Psychopathic Personality Disorder which is a psychological condition characterized by sadism, are highly functional members of our society and they are attracted to careers that give them power. According to the episode, scientists estimate that 3% of the worlds' population are Psychopaths. I fear that if there are that many crazies in the world, then there must be a significant number of them in some position of power somewhere, such as congress.

Psychopathy is just one of the many personality disorders that go unrecognized everyday. You yourself may know a Psycho, a Sociopath, a Narcissist, or someone with Anti-Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that someone like Bill O'Reilly was one of these people.

It was the pop culture reference of my childhood: "Don't mess with the crazies, it ain't right. You shouldn't mess with the crazies." I think it's time we do, but not in your personal life because that's an empty and possibly dangerous endeavor. Everyone in a position of power should be psych screened for a personality disorder that makes them destructive people. Everyone from cops to the U.S. President. It should be a prerequisite for all candidates of political offices to have a health psyche. I believe this will go a long way to solving the worlds' problems; filtering out the crazies and restricting them from power. Psychologically healthy people will use that power for the greater good as they see it. Psychologically unhealthy people can't be expected to.

Planet Earth, test your politicians for personality disorders!

Predicting the Future: Waiting Out Crummier Generations

I'm waiting out the old people. When the old people who are running the joint die and power is passed onto my generation, we'll see some real turn around. I'm predicting we'll have federal laws legalizing marijuana by 2033. Go team god! Yay!

Dreamworks is Racist

Dreamworks is racist. I don't actually believe that, but I think a) I have your attention/you're curious now and b) it's somewhat relevant to the thoughts I'm about to discuss.

Besides the fact that I don't like 3d animation, I don't watch any Dreamworks movies because they are all about white people. Most are about males. What I'm saying is Dreamworks seems capable and/or interested in only telling stories about a white perspective and I'm bored. When I saw trailers for "The Crudes," I was preparing to sigh in disappointment and exhaustion. Then I saw how typical the humor was so I sighed with disappointment and exhaustion twice.

For those of you who believe in science, we know that the first human beings were black. The Crudes are white. Does anyone share my disappointment both for the misrepresentation of science and for a missed and appropriate opportunity to make a black cast? This is America, the big melting pot. It's about time main stream media does something with the other 99 sub-cultures present in America. It's 2013. This is embarrassing.

This is a country full of people who are not white and male, yet, when was the last time you saw a theatrical release about a hero who was anything but? The problem is not obvious to white people, but for everyone else it's a matter of a fish out of water. Imagine looking around your home land and not seeing yourself represented in your overall culture? I can only speculate how this effects others, maybe it causes some people to have difficulty with their self-identity. Maybe it even has the effect of causing some resentment, perpetuating ignorance, and dis-empowering some. At the very least, you can speculate that there are too many people who aren't being acknowledged. I believe this causes issues for everyone. With people continuing to live comfortably with an unchallenged perspective, progressiveness is hindered.

So why is it that Dreamworks can't make a movie about anything but white people? The simplest answer is that the producers, writers and directors of each movie are white and it's difficult to understand, much less take an interest in telling a story from a completely different perspective. The day Dreamworks gets a gay black woman in charge is the day we see something fresh.

Additionally, the free market dictates art. Movies about white stories are so popular because there's an overwhelming market for it. If people wanted to see Green Vacuum Cleaners vs Blue Chairs, we'd have it. Still, Dreamworks broadens no horizons.

Art Belongs in the Public Domain

Upon my death, any and all art I create, all writings done, all ideas I produce, etc., shall go to the public domain.

Art is something special. It's a universal means of communication. What do I mean? I had a teacher named Pitts. He used to work for the United Nations. He has an assignment once that involved taking 20 people from 20 different cultures and showing them a good time. Some of them didn't speak english. They went to a movie theater and watched a french movie. According to Pitts, one or two people understood the language, but everyone cried when it was time to cry and everyone laughed when it was time to laugh.

Art can express ideas and sensations, can preserve pieces of history, personal experiences, and the human experience. Through art, you can learn and you can teach. You can help influence people and change cultures. You can give comfort to people.

Art is a powerful thing, because of this I believe that at some point the artist is responsible for relinquishing creative rights to everyone. Perhaps artists should do it when they're finished or when they die. Limiting permission to use or rights of ownership to a select few is limiting the potential of the art. It limits the effect of the art. It limits who can enjoy it and how. Who can learn and who can't.

I know we like to own our ideas. I want to too, but for how long? What happens when you die? Are you taking your ideas with you or passing them off to the next selfish person or entity so they can hog it? Give it up. Share it. Let people play, explore, create, with it freely.

What's the problem? Afraid someone else will cash in on your idea? So what? Does that fill you with regret over a lost opportunity? Is someone gonna make fun of you for missing out? If someone has taken another persons' idea and improved it, making it more accessible or potent, that's a good thing, right? Feel good knowing you had a part in something bigger. What if they did something bad with it? It happens. Get over it. People forget that kind of stuff in time. Remember the movie Fluke?

Dad: Stupid, Sick, or Mean?

My dad often tells my adult brother to take advice based not on the advice itself but based on the individual offering advice. His words: "You should listen to your dad. (because) Your dad wants to help you." Without knowing anything about my dad, this statement just sounds dumb but...

"You should listen to your dad." Why should you listen to your dad? Define should. Does should mean it's the right thing to do or a smart thing to do? Or if it's the smart thing to do? What if your dad is a hobo, a meth addict and an exhibitionist? Define listen. Do you mean hear or obey? Can I listen to other dads? Can I listen to anyone else?

"Your dad wants to help you." Why do you feel the need to make such a statement? Do you actually think no one else wants to help my brother? No one would look out for the best interests of another? No one else is willing to try for other people? Just one's father? You? That's the only person? This is flawed, incorrect reasoning and a harmful disposition to hold and teach. At best, a pessimistic yet practical statement by a misanthrope. At worst, faulty reasoning by a stupid, destructive individual. 

The latter part is such an obvious statement/redundancy that it indicates either someone just likes to hear the sound of their own voice or they lack succinctness: a quality of effective communication that gives credit to the audience's intelligence and respect for their time as well as demonstrating an understanding of one's own ideas.

Because my dad barely explains himself, everything he says sounds like a command.

There's an implication that my dad doesn't think my brother is smart enough to understand that a father would want to help his son. One theory is my dad makes premature judgements based on superficial, incomplete, inaccurate observations i.e. he judges a book by it's cover. Another theory is my dad is out of touch with his family and can't relate to them. Therefore, when communicating with his children, he holds a young him for whatever age that person is as a benchmark and superimposes it on the person. Thus, I assume my brother at 19 is smarter than my dad at 19.

There's an implication that my dad doesn't think his own son trusts him. Maybe he's projecting his own inability to trust others onto his son? Maybe my dad doesn't have enough self-confidence?

You could also interpret this as an (unconscious, or if they're actually smart, subtle and manipulative) expression of a desire for obedience. If you knew my dad, you might get this vibe a couple times a year.

Or there's somehow an implication that he thinks it's your moral imperative to accept advise based on one's biologic relations. I can't see this coming from someone who is psychologically healthy. It sounds like the conditioning attained from years of psychological abuse. Otherwise, it's flawed reasoning that is more characteristic of people who believe in objective morality.

There's another implication that he's arrogant and thinks he's always right. People who make absolute statements tend to be stupid people who hold many different cognitive dissonances. You could never explain to my dad how this statement comes across as arrogant no matter what. I believe he would argue that no one would think it's in any way an arrogant statement, even after you explicitly state that such was your very conclusion. My dad's mind is somehow equipped to recognize his arrogance as humility. From experience I know that he justifies anything he does by whether or not he (feels he) had good intentions.

Simply put I've learned not to indulge conversation with this person and similar people. Look at all the thoughts I had from one simple statement.

Who is the better logger? Lumberjacks vs Martial Artists

When it comes to the logging industry, who makes the better logger: Lumberjacks or Martial Artists? Discuss.

Lumberjacks are the classic definition of manly.
*They work out all day.
*They invented fighting bears.
*They have a diet of pancakes and maple syrup.
*Lumberjacks are so agile they had to invent the sport Logrolling for a challenge.
*Wolverine used to be a Lumberjack.
*Because they live deep in remote forests, they are all badass survivalists like Les Stroud.
*They're always armed. With axes and saws. Which they control masterfully.
*Axes and Saws are the only weapons that can take down a giant sequoia.
*They have manly beards.
*They drink moonshine. Also, they drink whenever they want, as much as they want, even before noon.
*They sing manly tunes.
*They only wear flannel to protect themselves from the elements because that's all they need.

Martial Artists have hardened their bones by adulthood through rigorous training. They can break wood in any from with their bare body.
*They honed their spiritual power (chi, prana, power level, etc.) through meditation which protects their bodies from harm.
*They can shoot Hadokens, (also known as throwing a Dragon Punch). See Kamehameha.
*They invented the Touch of Death - a punch to the chest that kills people instantly.
*They are one with the universe and don't need sight to have a full understanding of their surroundings or for death matches. In fact, many of their death matches are more deadly when one or more fighters is blinded.
*They can jump so high, aerial battles between martial artists are both common and spectacular. Fatalities sometimes occur because martial artists hit the ground.
*There are several times more movies, TV, and video games about martial artists than lumberjacks.
*They drink tea which is healthier than alcohol, guaranteeing greater longevity.
*Goku is a martial artists.

Working Title: Enlightened

New comic idea.

I Hate Cereal Commercials

When I was a kid, most cereal commercials rocked. Now, I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore. These commercials are lame and lousy. I guess it's all OK because everything is new to the 7 and under demographic. I think a lot of the themes used for cereal commercial characters and situations come from the 50's and they're obsolete. It's a cultural void sucking in our best values and exposing our old bullshity ones.

Fruit Loops
     The most normal cereal commercials are for fruit loops and they suck. Why the hell are Tukan Sam and his triplet nephews doing exploring very dangerous parts of the world in search of his own cereal - which they steal! The parts of this idea that are original are stupid. On their adventures they always encounter some giant monster that wants to kill them over a matter of 4 bowls of cereal. Somehow they escape with a sample and the monster ends up tripping on his misplaced competence (Oh, there is was!) and falling into some scooby-doo-esque trap that was pre-existing as a feature of whatever environment they're in. These commercials are so ridiculously fast paced, I think they're distorting your children's sense of time. No creativity goes into this whatsoever.

Cocoa Puffs
They're crunchy! They're munchy! They're chocolatey!
"Sonny, please stay calm. You're having an episode." 
They're Mother Fucking Cocoa Puffs!
"Mr. Cucko Bird, please respond if you can hear my voice."
COCOA PUFFS! Get out of my way, bastard! Daddy needs his medicine!
"He's starting to hallucinat! Don't let him touch you!"
*crash* *bang*
"Oh SHIT!"
COCOA PUFFS! ROAR! COCOA PUFFS!
"Uh-Oh! Hurry with the tranquilizers, Ned! He's got a knife!"
 I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs! CUCKOO for COCOA PUFFS! OOWAAAAOHHHHHH!
*Wham* *BASH*
"MY EYE! OH GOD, MY EYE!"
*CRASH* *BOOM*
"Argh! NOOO! AHHHH!"
Gotta get me some o'dat chocolate!
"OHHHHohoho. Ohhhhh..."
"Huff, puff. Jim! My god! My. God."
Sweet, sweet chocolate!
"It's time for a nap, Sonny."
*Pow*
Oooooh Whoa! Oooh. Oooooooooh hoohoo. Oof.
*Thud*
"Oh Jesus, it's over. It's all finally over."
"For now, Matt. It is for now."

     Here's my idea for Cocoa Puffs commercials: Anything but the crazy shtick. It always sucked.

Honey Nut Cheerios
     I actually love this cereal, but now Buzz Bee is somehow the only citizen from his bee and honey themed city that does not resemble a beehive whatsoever who is fighting off pirates and thieves and monsters and aliens and shit from stealing all their honey which is their food. Are all these other bees just the laziest assholes in the world? How is it the only some child and his color-coordinated, proportionately distinct friends can do anything? Where are the cops or the army? Notice no one gets hurt and nothing gets broken ever. Then they have an award ceremony that shames Princess Leah and the rebellion. Bah. These commercials are so weird I can't even remember where the cereal comes in. Do they force-feed it to the bad guys to make them stop? That sounds easy enough yet legally questionable.
     Get us something better.

Trix
     Fuck this rabbit. Get a job. Buy some cereal. Borrow some cereal. Beg for cereal. Stop trying to steal it from children. Those children are assholes anyway. Find some other children who aren't actually assholes. And what's with this "Trix are for kids" bullshit? I can understand if rabbits aren't supposed to eat this food because it's not good for them, but for kids only and no one else? I don't want to my kids to learn discrimination even if it's charming. Fuck you, Trix. I mean that.
I never liked the Trix theme of the rabbit trying to con some kids out of their cereal or just plain steal it. The kids would never freak out either. In some cases, they were almost the victims of theft! Cry for help! There's a stranger doing weird shit. This is not how you react to liars and thieves. To me, it just makes the kids look cruel. This poor rabbit just wants some Trix and these kids know it. He's been trying for years, and not one damn kid ever shares. They always look so satisfied when they deprive the Trix bunny of a meal. FUCK! Why don't the kids just trap him and mail him in a box without any holes to a foreign country with fragile crossed out.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch
     I can't believe they're allowed to do this. This is Christmas Critter shit. There's something sick about cannibalistic, wild eyed cereal pieces who's madness invokes genuine responses of fear in the faces of the other cereal pieces right before they fucking die! They die a gruesome death too - being eaten alive. The killer cereal pieces are disturbingly happy after killing someone else. A lack of value for life and suffering is disturbing to sensitive people and children. When I was a kid, something like this would have made me feel sad. No exaggeration. I would have a knot in my stomach over this imagery. It's not graphic per se, but the concept is there and vivid enough.

Apple Jacks
     I always hated these commercials. They don't taste like apples, so why do you kids eat them? Kids pause for a minute then celebrate that they "just do" and no adult understands that. Psh. What it does is it creates some kind of illusion in children's mind that you have some special perspective of the world that adults lack. I think this is more of an illusion we impose on ourselves that children are pure and innocent and special. They're not, they just dumb. Kids aren't special. Fuck you.
     Then the later theme of a laid-back cinnamon stick who competes with a bitter apple. Never liked this crap either. I hate it when one character is always the loser, even in Tom & Jerry. No misfortune ever befalls cinnamon and it makes him look like such a douche bag when that asshole apple catastrophically loses. He's clearly insecure about being short and fat and that's why he feels the need to cheat all the time. I think this creates social stigmas and a judgmental mentality. Don't try to help the poor, insecure, disadvantaged cheater apple, who's short and fat and that makes him bad. Don't try to understand his pain. He's a cheater and that makes it OK to celebrate his failure, demonize him, then move on with out lives.

Captain Crunch
     I don't even remember these commercials, but somehow I remember them being good. Fuck you Kelloggs.' I would have told Michelle Obama where she can stick it and then what she could go do after. This is America. We have a free market and we have the freedom to sell whatever unhealthy shit we want. Stop trying to curb our freedoms and stop teaching kids that it's OK to impose our will on others! Asshole.

Rice Krispies
     I don't remember these, but I think it had something to do with the noise made by the cereal as it sits in the milk. I liked the cereal fine, but I can't remember seeing the mascots do anything. Lame.

Any Flintstones Cereal
     When I was a kid, I liked these commercials. Barney wasn't an asshole thief, he was a hero and Fred was being a selfish asshole. Now, I can only see the shitty behavior and irresponsibility of both parties. Go to the store and get your own, Barney! You violate people's privacy, vandalize, litter, and steal! Your schemes are clearly a cry for help. They're all overly complicated and time consuming. They can't possibly be simpler than going to the store! Do you have money issues? Are you depraved? A bored and crappy person? What the hell! And Fred, call the police! Don't threaten him with a violent shake of your fist while screaming and then chasing after him! What you must've done to make Barney act this way. Classic.
     Also, the ideas for these started to suck recently.

Cookie Crisp
Fuck. Cookie Crisp.

My Cereal Commercial Ideas
*Another flavor, a different one each time, usually a weird one like kitchen sink sponge or soap or rotten banana peel, wants to be a part of the cereal, and the current flavor has to say no and keep him out. This usually involves the current flavor turning him down and going back inside his box. Slapstick gags follow where the current flavor cleverly defends his cereal's flavor from inside the box which is used like his fortress equipped with trap.

*Some guys are on their lunch break. One of them is eating cereal for breakfast and another one is somehow turned off by this. Seinfeld conversations and mockery with wordplay and droll humor ensue.

 *Two kids are denied cereal for lunch in the school cafeteria so they have to sneak home from school for some. This could involve disusing themselves as bushes, going to the computer lab and ordering a rocket from acme, shipping themselves in boxes, or stealing cars from the parking lot of their school. They can't be seen by their family either. Then they have to return to school and slip past an authority figure who narrowly, accidentally catches them.

*Finally, I think TeamFourStar should have Vegetta and Nappa push some cereal. Maybe you could make Saiyajin O's or something. I would buy that cereal to support the commercials.

Writing Conventions of Anime, Part 1

I have seen a lot of anime. Before Netflix, I made a list of all the anime franchises I've seen (not counting hentai or ecchi). I counted things only once even if I saw multiple entries from one franchise; for example there are more than 23 Lupin III movies of which I might have seen 17 and I list Lupin III as 1 item. With that in mind, this list had over 130 items on it. I stopped caring about anime around then because it became all the same to me; seemingly generic. Still, I'm no closer to understand the strange, FUCKING WEIRD culture of Japan than I was after only seeing a handful of anime, but I do consider myself an authority on overused and crappy writing styles, techniques, motifs, themes, elements and such of anime which I'm compiling here in a list I'm calling Writing Conventions of Anime. I lost the original list too, so I'll be starting from scratch.

1) Character Archetypes.
Goku from DBZ. Serena from Sailor Moon. Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!. Ash Ketchem from Pokemon. Vash the Stampede from Trigun. Yusuke Yurameshi from YuYu Hakusho. Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. Naruto. Eikichi Onizuka from GTO. Ranma Saotome from Ranma1/2. Lufi from One Piece. Excel from Excel Saga. InuYasha. What do all of these characters have in common? They're all simpletons who are unlikely heroes and unexpectedly very gifted at whatever it is they do and while they're rough around the edges, they're all very compassionate human beings. Likewise, what do the characters Vegeta, Seto Kaiba, Gary Oak, Knives, Hiei, Aoshi Shinomori, Sasuke Uchiha, Tatewaki Kuno, Il Palazzo, and Sesshomaru have in common? They're all gifted, privileged, talented yet arrogant and mean, sometimes cruel people who excel in life.

These are two common character types which tend to come in pairs. I call them the Peasant and the Noble because I suspect that the origins of these character types come from powerful culturally rooted stories about classism which was a big thing for much of Japans' feudal era which is close to 800 or so years. Peasants are unrefined, uneducated, untrained, but most people are lower or middle class and can easily identify with the peasant. The nobles such as merchants, artisans, warriors, and lords were all arrogant dicks who looked down on others.

The most well known samurai is Miyamoto Musashi. His is the romantic story of a peasant who overcame class discrimination to become the most highly regarded warrior of his time. Samurai lined up to duel him. He won his first duel by provoking his opponent who spat in the face which created an opening Musashi seized as an opportunity to brutally beat the man to death with a wooden sword. He won his last duel by purposly arriving an hour late and he used a boat oar. Hot damn!

People seem to like the Noble too. Characters like Vegeta, Sasuke, and Seto are very popular. Interestingly enough, the Noble's story tends to be about personal growth and redemption where they hit a lot of low points whereas the Peasant's story is about overcoming challenge through willpower and the fulfillment of dreams. The Noble tends to be redeemed directly or indirectly through the Peasant and they become friends. Sometimes, best friends.

My favorite Peasant and Noble pair? I don't have one. You?

Award Shows are Stupid

First off, it's perfectly natural to want appreciation. That said, award ceremonies/shows are stupid. If your ability or credibility as an artist is somehow validated because of an award, that's bullshit. Good art is good art. Bad art is bad art. End of discussion. Popularity and awards are not merits but such is the politics of the Art World which is in dire need of some sense.

1) Competition.
The biggest problem with the award show is this: The works of art are not held to some criteria as much as they are compared to each other. Films for instance are only compared to the other films that were released in the same year. In that way, films do not win awards because they are necessarily any good, they win awards because they're better than the other films of that year. Imagine if one year all the films were bad. Total pieces of shit could win the same awards earned by actually great movies from previous years. To wit, an award is only as prestigious as the worst movie to earn said award.

2) Who judges and what's the criteria?
As I already explained in point number one, I think that this point is moot. Interestingly enough though, the understanding of the word moot is a misnomer. Moot actually means that something is open to discussion or debate. So really, I should say that this point redundant. Yes! No research!

3) Sensationalize.
Is the award ceremony an empty excuse to celebrate or are we celebrating the occasion of the award ceremony? The reason why such events are made into glamorous spectacles is most likely money. You make anything seem special enough, people buy into the illusion. If enough people buy into the illusion, you can put it on TV and it becomes an expensive commercial hour.

4) They're stuffy and boring even if people curse, flash the audience, make out with everyone else, or shit.

It's like in Kung Fu Panda when Po learned the secret ingredient of Secret Ingredient Soup. Some people think award shows are special. They're not. Art is amazing. The award ceremony is a shallow occasion to cash in on the success and popularity of art. People who create art for art sake and because they are passionate are special. People who create art for status, money, fame and appreciation are lame and disappointing.

Whence Cometh Evil? I Found Out.

I like to make this analogy every now and then. Imagine that there are space aliens who know we're here. They don't make first contact with us because they believe intervention at this point in our history is dangerous for us and them. Instead, they observe us. What do you think this Star-Aged culture thinks of us? Do they think we're horrible or noble or somewhere in between?

The way I see it, they will not pass such judgement at all. They understand that we are a young species with a primitive culture. In fact, they even draw parallels between our history and theirs. They'll be using their own history to chart our development and they even have an accurate prediction of when we will be able to join them. They're waiting for the day when we, their cosmic neighbors, will finally be sophisticated enough to greet. In the meantime, they are also studying us as a way of observing their own history in action.

These ETs are so advanced that they have an interesting new social science called The Study of Planetary  Development or perhaps The Development of Intelligent Culture where they study how intelligent life goes from fire and stone tools to star ships and immortality. I believe there are constants in how every intelligent society develops. I believe we are a planet that does not stray far from the established norm given our resources and the size of our brains.

This is how I put the the world into perspective. This is how I am able to overlook the flaws of our society and forgive the flaws of people. I am able recognize that relatively speaking, we as a world culture are still juvenile and therefore our societal evils should be forgiven because we're not evil, we simply don't know better. I don't believe in evil. Humans, like all species, are inherently ignorant.

Death Note Sucks and is Bad

First off, Light Yagame? His name is Light? Subtle. That's how you know you're watching a kid's show; when select characters are given obviously special, ridiculous names. Is that a proper Japanese name? If so, why did they translate it? Is it somehow important to the mystery or the story or the character development? I think it's just insignificant irony or a tacky writing style. Maybe it's an editorial mandate.

Death Note sucks. L and the Task Force are inept investigators. They fail to establish a means without which an opportunity is ambiguous, yet L selects his suspect Light based on the most absurd logic. L thinks Light Yagame is Kira because Light is smart and has access to a police database through his dad's home computer and really, a home computer? I think not.

Here's why L is full of shit. You have to establish a means. Without a means, a motive and an opportunity, your suspect walks. People can be suspects if they're friends, family, co-workers, or maybe if they're on the same block as a warm body (also black, but that's a whole other thing). Having an alibi generally means you didn't have a means or opportunity. You couldn't be the killer because you were shitting and everyone knows it! Another example alibi could be you were at work shitting and only your boss knows about it because he's a really great guy.

In a scenario like the one in Death Note, your suspect list has 100,000 names. With no obvious suspects to start, you skip that step and go right to the HOW. How does Kira kill? Does he use some chemical agent or Bio-weapon? A super virus? Hypnosis? Animal-Psychology? Tacos? I would assume it's something brand new and completely ingenious. Doctors would be autopsying around the clock. I'd get scientists from all over. I'd send bodies to universities, hospitals, any facility equipped with a table and a knife. There's a lot of Kira victims! Does he have people on the inside? If so, how many? Do a massive inside investigation. With whom have these criminals interacted? Who gave them their medical exams? Who fed them? Who did their laundry? Are other inmates involved? The inmate's friends and family?. Because WE the audience know the explanation is supernatural, we know that the medical exams aren't turning up jack. We know it's not the Yakuza or Mad Science or some religious fanatics. WE know L is screwed taking any real, actual route. If this crime was real, the investigation might take years. I don't recall anyone who points that out.

Here's the million dollar question: A GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT YOU DIPSHIT?! L estimated the likeliness that Light is Kira is 5%. Five fucking percent. It's more plausible that extra-terrestrials are involved. Maybe some cleaver asshole is inserting a few ringers to gut themselves in the prisons to take credit for some new disease epidemic? I recall L referring to Light's intelligence or his psychologic profile and stating that he has access to a police database. Because yeah, computers are completely hacker proof. Maybe someone else broke in and accessed that computer? Does anyone even think that Kira is probably many, many people working together? I assume L doesn't suspect Light is a goddamn wizard!

A Note about the Mystery Genre: Am I the only one who's bothered by how in mystery stories, the good guys are written by the same person who writes the bad guys? You know going into the story that there will be no loose ends and everything will be tied up in a neat little package with the perfect little bow. The mystery genre gets old fast. Hopefully the mystery is really interesting or suspenseful and dramatic enough. If not, than give me some decent characters.

That's the other thing, the characters in Death Note suck. Light sucks. His dad sucks. L sucks. Misa sucks. The shinigamis both really suck. One of the guys on the task force thinks it's really cool to be on the task force because it makes him feel like a secret agent "or something." About the shinigami's, here's a plot hole: How do shinigami eyes work? Are people's lifespans engraved in stone or do they update whenever people make a healthy or unhealthy decision? If Ryuk has the ability to see how long Light has left to live, surely he can see that Light has a year left right? Does this character seem like more of a douche bag now? You thought that other one was the douche bag. Well you're wrong, they're both douche bags.

How come Light is anywhere near as smart as L? How can he compete? L is a certified genius and was given a very, very special upbringing. Light doesn't own any video games.

I have to admit, I haven't given Death Note a fair viewing. I've been in the same room with others the entire time as they watched entire episodes, though. I should watch this show so I can really pick it apart. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle said "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." By improbable, I doubt that he allowed room for fucking magic. As far as I can tell, this story was meant to be a game of chess between two geniuses and everything else comes second: the board, the pieces, and reason.
 

Who is Still Playing Final Fantasy?

People who were fans of the series Final Fantasy when it started were playing Final Fantasy 4 and 6 (maybe 1). Then came FF7. It brought in many, many new fans to the franchise and to the RPG genre, but because it was so different, it also challenged many of the people who were already FF fans. FF 8 and 9 challenged almost everyone. After the abhorred 10, most of us jumped ship. In fact, most people turned off their PS2s at the same point in the game, or at least that's the impression I've been given. By 10, the mind behind the franchise, Hironobu Sakaguchi, was no longer serving in a creative capacity anyway.

If I wrote a play, it wouldn't be a Shakespear. If I made a painting it wouldn't be a di Vinci. If Hironobu Sakaguchi did not produce a game then it's not a Final Fantasy. It's not Final Fantasy anymore. The last one was 9. What was once a title for a series of stories has now become a brand name. The new games being marketed to us with the title Final Fantasy should be distinguished from the ones Hironobo made. Classic FF and New FF.

So who is still playing FF? I know that some people who are still playing FF are admittedly foolishly hoping that the next game will manage to recapture the old magic. Time to pull the cord.

Innovation in Gaming is Usually Bad

In my rant about Pokemon, I said Pokemon sucks because you're doing the same thing over and over. I realized I wasn't entirely right. Sometimes, I like to do the same things over and over. It can be disappointing when a new entry in a beloved franchise is too different. I remember thinking to myself at the end of early pokemon games or other games that I was fond of, that I'd like to do it all over again, but in a different setting or with more levels. Anyone else ever feel like that? At the end of Megaman X, I just wanted more levels to play. I wanted to carry over the game play of FF7 to the next FF. I wanted more stuff to do in FF8. I'd like to play Super Mario World again, but with all different levels. Why? Because I love everything about the game but It's getting boring replaying it over and over again.

Innovation is a bad word to me. Sometimes it's good, but I think more often it gets out of hand. I have not played any Mario after the N64. I'd give it a shot to prove myself wrong, but gaming takes a lot out of me these days. I loved the old Resident Evil games. What the hell Sonic? Final Fantasy has an alien host. Mega Man X peaked at number 4. Ten out of eleven Chrono Trigger fans hated Chrono Cross. Legend of Dragoon was an unplayable mess. Breath of Fire 4 had a total tonal change and completely contradicted it's own continuity.

Whatever. That new Tomb Raider game looks awesome. And do they still make any Spyro?